Ice Picks and Hand Grenades
by EternalEmbrace
Summary: A fling is a fling, right? What if it means more than that? Even a genius looks like a fool in matters of the heart. A Shikamaru centric fic at age 20. Will contain language, alchohol usage and YAOI, HET, YURI and violence SHIKA X KIBA
1. My Mind Wanders

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. However I _am_ going to steal Shikamaru, tie him up and keep him in my basement.

A/N: Wow. My first fic on this particular site... and already I'm centering on a pretty obscure character... go me. Chapter one is kind of a prologue/monologue thingy. Basically my attempt at getting into Shika-kun's head. Mendokuse.

Praise and constructive criticism welcome, however, I'm not fond of smores, so please hold back on the flames.

CHAPTER ONE: My Mind Wanders…

First of all, let me get one thing straight.

I don't really understand a thing about anybody. Not that I ever tried to, but you know. Everybody thinks I know everything just because I'm good at strategy and stuff like that, but I don't. I'm not saying I'm stupid or anything like that… I'm just lazy and I admittedly don't go out and spend enough time in the company of others to learn things about people. Though, I doubt I'd pay enough attention to notice anything anyway.

I don't know if that makes me antisocial, necessarily. I'm just lazy. Simple as that.

Recently, I've discovered that some stuff I know about myself gives me insight into others, be it true or just my mind playing fucked up tricks on me... I've figured out that naturally everyone is bisexual, no matter what they say. I'm not saying anyone's lifestyle is wrong, it's just that the degrees vary. Like me, I admit I'm attracted to guys, maybe more sexually than a lot of other men, but yeah. It always starts with a curiosity… maybe sneaking a peek at another guy in the hot springs, not even checking him out or anything… but just looking. Looking and comparing. It just kinda becomes second nature. I know what looks good from those experiences, and what doesn't. Of course it can become an attraction. After all, that's how I know I'm pretty well off myself. I guess ninja training, as much of a bother as it is, has its good points. Well, unless it gets out of hand, that is… take Gai, for example. Too much muscle, not enough looks to balance it out. Lee better watch out with all that physical training. He's got a great body, exquisite even, but if he does too much, he really will end up like Gai... well, more than he already is.

Right now though, I'd definitely take him all the way and then some. The girls might be scared of his eyebrows and whatnot, but I tell ya, throw him in the sack and I bet you he's one of the most naturally talented bastards you've ever met. The kind I'd want to take turns with, even. The only downside to that is that he's got a lot more stamina than anyone, and I know there's no way I could keep up with him.

But, hey. Looking at the choice of women I seem to have, I'm glad I've come to accept my sexual interest in the male gender. I mean, besides the fact that women like Ino and Sakura are pushy, snotty and, overall, scary…they remind me way too much of my mother. In other words, inherently evil. Don't get me wrong, they're _usually_ pretty nice girls, but I couldn't see myself ever having more than a one time drunken fling with one of them. I had my fair share of head-chewing-off back when I lived with my parents, and that's sure as hell not something I want to deal with for the rest of my life.

Oh-then there's the quiet, obedient type of girls like Hinata… I can't stand that either. My perfect girl would be level headed, reasonably outgoing and not obnoxious in any sense of the word. I suppose what I really mean to say is that I want a woman instead of a girl. I dunno, maybe like a younger version of Kurenai…

But if I never get married, that's fine too. Plans are meant to be flexible. If I decide to spend my life with another man, I'll probably decide not to tie the knot. After all, the only reason I've even considered marriage is so that my children would inherit my family name. I guess it's a bit of a pride thing? Whatever. Marriage is just a ball and chain to keep men from sleeping around, anyway, and I'm not the type of guy who does stuff like that. Believe it or not, I'm totally loyal.

Gah… that reminds me… how troublesome...

My parents want me to be dating, at least, by the time I reach twenty-three. I don't know, it seems a bit soon to me.

But I can't say I won't be dating by then. That's three years away, and there's no telling what will happen in that time span. Either way, at this moment, I'm still too young for commitment. I wasn't lying about my loyalty, it's just that I want my first commitment to someone to last forever. I don't want to have to deal with all the drama relationships at my age have on tow. I want my first relationship to be a mature relationship without onslaughts of hormones clouding our judgment and without other people getting in the way. I doubt all of this is possible, humans being the primitive self-righteous beings we are. It's just the best case scenario.

I still plan on being single for quite a while, though.

You don't rush things like that. First of all, there has to be some sort of mutual attraction, and I can safely say there's none of that floating around. I'm not the type of guy others are attracted to. I'm no Sasuke (no stalker-esque fanclub here), and I'm no gentleman, either. Ino is constantly telling me I'm a smartass, or that I'm insensitive or crude. Just part of my aggressive apathy, I suppose. No one wants a lazy boyfriend. Not that I blame them. I'd make a crappy boyfriend. I'd dump myself in a heartbeat.

Besides, even if I was ready to take the plunge,there are only three people I'm even slightly attracted to. One, of course, is Lee, who I mentioned earlier. The second is Kiba, probably because of his raw personality and excellent washboard stomach. And the third is Kakashi-san, because of the whole mystery factor.

Hell. I'd fuck any of them if given the chance.

I'm sure a lot of people would find my attractions strange. After all, I don't hint anything, nor do I ever seem to care… and most of all, unlike everybody else in this damn place, I'm not even one bit attracted to Sasuke. Sure, he's good looking, but he so moody it makes me want to puke. I never really could stand the guy. Besides, he and Naruto are practically lovers-and they would be if they could get their heads out of their asses long enough to take a good look around. But Naruto is just plain stupid, and Sasuke is so concerned about continuing his bloodline that he chooses to ignore his feelings. It's none of my concern, though I can't wait to see Sasuke's fanclub go through the shredder. Come to think of it, that would be a good turn of events for everybody. Maybe then Sakura will smarten up and start dating Lee, and Ino will stop being so nagging all the time.

Maybe. Then again…if Sakura and Ino became a couple, that would be pretty hot. Not that I'm expecting it or anything.

Hn. I guess that's why I haven't pursued physical relations with any of my quote on quote crushes…

Because Lee should really end up with Sakura, Shino has a thing for Kiba (though he's good at hiding it), and Kakashi, beside being way too old for me, has definitely been eyeing a serious relationship with Iruka… that is, if they're not in one already. I don't like stepping on other people's toes, to be concise. I mean, if any of them came to me, or if we somehow ended up in a position to fool around, then sure, I'd be all for it. But I don't initiate. Well, I guess that's sort of a lie. If they were begging for it, then I might suggest something… but it's gotta be pretty obvious, I'll be the first one to admit I'm not too keen on flirting. Not that I'm the type people flirt with anyway. I don't think it's because I'm ugly or mean… I'm pretty sure people don't flirt with me because they don't think I'll respond. But you never know.

As for the reason I don't flirt: I don't understand it. Not at all. I mean, is it something you do naturally? Is it forced? How do you do it and when? Are only girls supposed to flirt? Maybe if I could identify it in the first place I could answer these questions on my own. I'm not saying I'm sexually naïve, it's just flirting that stumps me. By no means am I a virgin. I've only been with one person (what can I say?) and we were pretty unstoppable. I mean three times a night at least. Don't get me wrong, I feel no commitment to her, we were just friends with nothing better to do.

The girl I'm talking about (may she remain anonymous), she was a little older than me and far more experienced. She taught me a lot. I've always been good at memorizing, so whenever she did something I liked or I did something that got the desired reaction from her, I memorized and practiced it. After about the fourth night I had her screaming in all the right ways. And since then, masturbation has certainly been a more fulfilling activity. Sure, stroke, squeeze, shake is a tried and true method, but knowing I can give myself a hell of an orgasm when I do it other ways is far more satisfying.

If you ask me, everyone should learn where their own spots are.

I don't really masturbate much, even if it's been a while since my friend moved off and I haven't even bothered to find another fuck buddy. Yeah, I suppose I miss having a sure thing. But it was all worth it. I still remember the last thing she said to me. She was sprawled out underneath me, her legs behind her ears, sopping with sweat…she took my face with both hands, looked me right in the eyes and whispered to me in moaning tones, "Oh, god…they don't know what they're missing…" I thought it was corny, and it is, but I'm not the type who puts effort into much. It's nice to know that the few and far between times I do give the effort, that it's appreciated.

Ha. I bet if the others heard all this, their views of me would go belly up. Hah... troublesome. That's all right. I'm completely comfortable with the way they see me, they really don't need to know.

So I guess this is going to remain my dirty little secret. What a bother. Some days I wish I could just say all the things on my mind, but I suppose I'll reserve this side of my personality for whoever my most precious person ends up being. As I said before, who am I to unnecessarily rush things? It's bad enough my plan for a quiet normal type life got blown out the window. I mean, Tsunade was just bugging me the other day, asking why I still haven't tried to become a jounin… and then there was that whole Anbu thing-_anyway_, I think I'm best off where I am. Who knows, maybe they'll try to convince me to be Hokage by age twenty-five. Yeah, I'd rather not. Teaching the brats is troublesome enough, I don't know why I'd want to do any of those other things.

At least I don't have classes for the next three days. Or…more accurately, I'm skipping the meetings I'm supposed to be attending for the next three days, consequences be damned.

I made the mistake of going once before. Okay, so the whole point of the damn things is forcing us teachers to listen to the ramblings of some old geezer for several hours a day with no point whatsoever except to force even _me_ to be bored to tears. I was nearly kicked out for sleeping, and then, after that, I almost got kicked out again for doodling instead of taking notes. By the third day I'd been lectured so many times my ear hurt, even with my pinky finger stuck inside to dull the sound. Man, I felt like I was twelve again.

Like I said, meetings be damned. The important thing is that I finally have time to relax, even though I know the guys wanted to go down to the beach, or something like that.

It can't be earlier than noon… that means I'm already late for the meetings, and boy is Tsunade-sama going to blow a fuse when I don't show up at all. Speaking of which, I should get out of bed sometime.

…I guess they're right about me.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

With a quick stretch I pull myself out of bed, yawning wide as I hurry over to my bureau to fetch some boxers before some unlucky passerby accidentally catches a glance at the moon through my window. So, yeah, I guess I really should close the shades once in a while, but then I'd miss waking up with the warmth of the sun's first rays brushing my cheeks and sometimes the breeze gently rustling the loose hairs across my forehead. And besides, it's so troublesome to have to open and close the damn things all the time.

Looking at the electric red numbers burning into the corners of my eyes from my nightstand, it's already creeping up on two o'clock. I bet most everyone left without me. It's how it usually works. Everyone has learned-it's not like I won't _eventually_ show up. I'm pretty reliable-so long as no one expects too much.

Sure enough, when I step off the last of the stairs, adjusting the duffel bag slung over my shoulder, Neji and Lee are there, waiting for me. Like always. I don't know why these two guys are always hanging around, like they're so worried I'll end up dead on my doorstep or something. I wouldn't be surprised to find that Neji is festering with ulcers. Lee… Lee is just stubborn. Of that I'm pretty sure.

"Took you long enough, Nara." Always so serious. I choke back a laugh.

"My, my, aren't we catty this afternoon. How troublesome." Neji shoots me his hardest glare, but I'm sure he knows I'm not buying it. He just kinda looks silly when he starts putting on faces like that. I think it has something to do with those white eyes of his. "What are we doing today, anyway?"

"Godaime Hokage-sama gave us vacation leave!" Lee fists his hands and gazes toward the sky. I swear he's gonna start shaking and crying at any second. "So we're going to the beach to revel in our youthful beauty!" I roll my eyes. "And I'll finally show Sakura-san I'm the only man she'll ever need." Now that… I almost smile. And not my usual sarcastic smile or the slack, half-amused one. He's got enthusiasm, I'll give him that. I guess you can say all the enthusiasm I lack somehow ended up in him … and it's infective. I mean, he almost had _me_ smiling.

I can tell it's going to be a good day, already. Or maybe Lee just does that to people, I'm not sure.

Hell. I'm feeling generous.

I turn my eyes toward my thick browed companion and flash him my patented smirk. "Lee, if I play matchmaker for the two of you, you've got to promise me an outdoor wedding, all right?"

He turns to me, and I think that look means confusion… "You-you mean it?"

"Yeah, why not? I've got nothing better to do." Of course, he's thrilled. Neji, on the other hand is being his usual sourpuss self. He's glaring at me again with those hollow white eyes, muttering obscenities under his breath.

"Don't include me, okay? This is stupid."

I just shrug casually. "Didn't expect as much. I'm sure Ino and Chouji will give me more than a hand enough."

Great. Now Lee's really in tears. I hate this weird feeling in my stomach. I don't really know what it is, but… a person crying just… puts me out a little, to say the least. "This is fantastic! The true power of youth at it's peak! Uniting in the vision of my pure and everlasting love!"

Okay…whatever, man. "Nah, I just think you two are kind of inevitable." At that point I start walking. As energetic and friendly as he is, too much of Lee's romanticism can really make a person sick. In fact, screw this. I'm going by rooftop. The less chance Lee gets to talk, the less likely I am to puke all over my new sandals.

.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

A/N: And yeah, so, while I made allusions to various pairings and such, odds are everyone's pretty clueless about who's gonna be with Shika, yes? Well, I'll tell you what. If you already know who it's gonna be, I will personally draw you whatever fanart you want, and also give you my eternal devotion.

Rate and review please! Reviews are like food to authors, and if you don't feed us we wither and die. Being all withered and dead-like makes it hard to continue writing… in other words, I'm only gonna keep writing this story if you guys want me to, despite how much I like writing it. So if you wanna read more make sure and FEED YOUR AUTHORS!

NEXT TIME:

Not everyone believes in superstition. One person may avoid crossing paths with a black cat, while another person, upon meeting the same black cat, may simply reach down and pet it. But whether an event is influenced by the act itself or by our perception of the act, one can never know.

However, to those who do believe in superstition, something as simple as the number three may be enough to change a man forever.


	2. The Number Three

Disclaimer: Seriously, if I owned Naruto, I'd be rich. And I'M POOR, BITCHES! Masashi Kishimoto owns Naruto, so the best I can do is try to pervert his mind until he turns my story into an OVA.

A/N: Not alot of people really seem into this one, but a few do, so I'll give it a go. But on another note, whether by sheer guess, willpower or discovering my clever loophole, (C2 cough character dropdown cough) someone has actually figured out my pairing! It will all become glaringly obvious in this chap.

ANBUKaida : if you're still alive and reading this, email me at eternalembrace at netzero dot com to request your fanart, which I can either send to you personally or just link up on another website. You have, as I said, my eternal devotion.

Like always, comments are welcome and appreciated. However flames will be used to roast those who leave them.

CHAPTER TWO: The Number Three

The beach really is a long way from Konohagakure… if you ask me, it's far further than it's worth. I lost track of the distance a while ago, and I don't know if I'll be in the mood for swimming. But my feet are still moving, that must mean something.

By the time we've arrived, my spirits aren't quite so high anymore. I guess I've regressed to the Shikamaru everyone knows and expects. Well at least there's no way I can disappoint. I'm not saying I'm not glad to have some time off, just that I'm tired and a little irritated we had to walk the entire way on foot. Err…so I suppose 'walking' isn't exactly accurate, but… whatever. We had to hoof it-a total waste of energy. Gah, and there weren't trees or rooftops the whole way. Awful. Annoying… yes, troublesome.

The hotel looks bigger than I imagined, perched atop a low cliff overlooking the ocean with its windows glittering in the high sunlight like the crystal clear eyes of a newborn deer...(err... why did I have to go thinking something like that? I feel like kicking myself...)The building itself seems to curl around the curve of the cliff, taking on a very elegant shape, even if it was not the original intention. Greenery lines the stone paved steps to the door, several types of flowers in pots atop pedestals, low shrubbery, thin trees with wispy leaves... it's very nice, actually. Almost ritzy looking. How in the hell I was able to afford a room here, I'll never know. I don't make half as much as the rest of my friends.

We make our way up the steps, slowly, not bothered by the distance after our previous trek. The sliding glass doors hint nothing of our arrival, but despite this, right when the three of us step foot in the hotel lobby, we're nearly crushed by a stampeding herd of squealing girls.

Not really.

But that's how I tend to describe it when Ino, Sakura, and Tenten decide to get too enthusiastic at our arrival. Well, most of it's Ino and Sakura, but Tenten seems to get more than her fair share of the giggles whenever Neji is around. Oh, I forget to mention, Hinata's here too… but I overlook her sometimes. Not because she doesn't matter, more because she's so damn quiet, especially when compared with the rest of these squawking harpies we so gently call women.

When the chatting starts I casually excuse myself, taking it as my cue to leave. I know I'd rather find a nice grassy spot to do some sunbathing, or something of the sort. Exchanging words has never really been my thing. I figure Neji will tire of it soon enough and join me when he's ready. And as for Lee… well, who knows with Lee. All I know is he'd better not come out in a speedo or I'm going to pop a blood vessel. And I don't mean that in a good way.

Waving a hand, I make my way up to the desk, get my key and head up the stairs. My room number is 303. Okay, simple enough. Third floor third room.

There sure are a lot of stairs, but I'm used to stairs. My apartment back at the Leaf is on the third floor, too. At least that means it will be a nice familiar height. I toss my bag into the corner carelessly, after removing my swimtrunks from the whole mess. Black and green, of course. I don't look very good in anything but earth tones, anyway. I change quickly, leaving my discarded clothes on the floor in a heap. I figure I'll pick them up later, but who knows. That's why my apartment is such a hellhole.

I take my time back down the steps, contemplating where the others will most likely congregate. Odds are, they'll be either as close to the hotel as the shoreline will allow, or maybe by some cliffs and trees. It really depends on whether Naruto or Kiba was the first one out the door.

o.oo.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Less than half a second afterI set foot out he doormy ears aredrawn by the all too familiar squabbling of everyone's favorite 'in the closet' couple. They're not hard to find when I have the 'luxury' of following the sound of Naruto's voice. As I guessed, there are some tall rocks, and a high structure of silt and grass that looks as if it were slowly carved by the caress of the water until it is as it stands now-slightly concave and leaning out at the expanse of the ocean as if in deep thought. I'll have to remember this spot for stargazing. I take a quick mental picture of the site before approaching the others.

They're tied up in something. Something loud and obnoxious. I step up with a strain to my brow, not at all surprised when I find that Naruto and Sasuke are already fighting. I should have figured they'd already be at it. Naruto's always at his loudest around the Uchiha heir.

Shino notices me before the others, but says nothing as I step up behind them. "Who's winning, Shino?" Much to my surprise, Kiba lurches forward and nearly loses his balance. I can tell my face is contorting irritably as I watch him. I furrow my brow and shove my hands in my pockets. "Someone needs to tighten his guard."

The brunet turns offensively, jutting out his lip as he shoots me an accusing look. "You're trying to kill me, aren't you?"

"Hardly. But if I wanted to it'd be simple with reflexes like that." I know it sounds cold, but I really don't mean it like that.

"I'm on vacation, Shikamaru!"

Anyway, he's just getting defensive, so I decide it's a good time to drop the subject with a blunt 'troublesome.' He hates getting told off like that, but it's really his own fault for being so stand offish… though I guess Chouji snorting in the background doesn't help much either.

"Kiba…" Shino pronunciates sharply, his head not even turned our direction. "Ignore him."

Ouuu… I hate it when Shino does that. It gives me a powerful-almost-consuming urge to jam my foot up his ass to the ankle… but of course I simply flatten my eyes to my usual 'I don't care what you say' expression. I'm not stupid. In one on one combat I truly believe Shino is the only one out of our respective group who could beat me every time. And I mean downright kick my ass, no questions asked. I've contemplated time and time again what strategy I would use in case I ever did have to fight him. And in every plan I find one gruesome hole. No matter what I do, there's no way I'd be able to keep track of every single one of those damned bugs of his. Not even Shadow Restraint can keep them from crawling out of his skin, as creepy as it is. Not that I'm going to open up and admit I'm scared of the guy. As lazy as I am, I still have a little pride.

But I've got to shake the image. Every time I think of those bugs crawling from his various orifices, it gives me the creeps. I'm just glad I don't dream often… it's like somebody walked on my grave.

Flicking my eyes from side to side, I try to keep myself from shuddering visibly. It's bad enough I completely lost track of reality for a moment or two. Drifting like a cloud isn't really a good thing when others are around. Sometimes I wish I could control my tendency to randomly wander off to my own little world... like now. I guess I was drifting pretty badly, too, because now that I look around, Neji and the others are already here, standing about three feet to my right.

I shouldn't have cornered Kiba on that whole lack of defense thing. I really don't like being hypocritical, it depletes my self-imposed image of a good ninja. I focus my eyes down to the ground. The weird thing is how it feels I'll find salvation there.

"Itai! Itai! Itai! Sakura-chaaaan, that hurts!"

Yanking my eyes from their position on the ground, I glance over to catch a rather funny scenario. Naruto and Sasuke rubbing their ears in unison as Sakura-chan looms over them, rather menacingly I might add, her face chiseled and her features as sharp as a freshly stoned kunai. Now she really reminds me of my mother…only… I doubt my mother would look as hot in a rose pink bikini. It compliments her hair. Very nice. She has good taste in fashion… I'm not a fashion buff or anything, but I'm very keen when it comes to color and I do know that certain styles definitely work with some people and not with others… not that anyone but Chouji ever bothered to learn those kind of things about me.

"Here I go!" My head snaps toward the shout just in time to catch Naruto in mid leap as he cannonballs off the top of a particularly tall rock. I must have done it again…and I was probably staring into one spot, as I tend to. Sakura probably thinks I'm some sort of pervert now. Oh, well, I'm a guy… odds are she's not surprised.

The pink haired girl beside me shifts visibly, her body language projecting her anger a little more than she probably intended. "I can't believe they're going to jump off that! They're gonna break their legs!" I smirk to myself. Sakura was a born medical-nin.

"It looks a little frightening." Hinata cowers behind us, one hand clinging desperately onto Sakura's arm as if it were the pillar holding up the sky.

I shake my head. Only the three of us didn't run over there after Naruto's little stunt. Even Shino seemed up for it. Of course, I just think it's troublesome. And besides… now is the perfect chance to talk to Sakura alone.

After all, I promised.

"Sakura-san!" Speak of the devil. Lee's up there, flailing his arms like an idiot…in a speedo. Eeerrgh… I should have known. That dumbass… the heel of my hand feels like a crutch when it hits my forehead. He just has to make it SO HARD TO HELP HIM!

From the corner of my eye I notice Sakura turning away, probably more out of fear for his safety than spite.

Removing my hand from my vision, my eyes wander over to Hinata, politely motioning for her to leave in the subtlest way I can muster. Hinata's not stupid, and she catches on right away. After a quick bow and a meager smile, she moves away. I straighten my posture and fake a cough, successfully catching the pink haired nin's attention.

"Sakura-san?" it takes me only a moment to decide on phrasing. She looks up at me, wide eyed like a scared little kitten… am I frightening? Hmm… curious. "Can I have a moment?"

"S-sure, what's the matter, Shika-kun?"

"What would you do if... it turns out there is no possible future between you and Sasuke?"

A look of shock overtakes her face momentarily, before fading to the obvious droop of defeat…"I-I already gave up on Sasuke…"

Really? And here, I thought she was more stubborn than that.

Her eyes shift to the ground, as if she is ashamed of her words. "Though… I didn't tell anybody. Then for a while I was in love with Naruto, but…"

"-But you knew they were meant for each other, didn't you?" Her head drops even lower. Poor kid. Her answer is obvious. "So what are you going to do now?"

She gives me those puppy eyes again, the ones that make even someone like me want to comfort her. "Why do you care? You, of all people…why do you…" Whoa. I wasn't expecting the waterworks… one tear escapes her eye, a saddened smile creasing her barely visible lips.

"Hey now, Sakura-san, I was just trying to-"

"DOGPILE!"

There are arms around my neck and I can't seem to keep my balance and-shit! I dig my heel into the ground to attempt a flip move, but all I can manage is to turn around…and hit the ground, hard. My eyes open abruptly and… Kiba? Of course, who else would shout 'dogpile' before leaping on someone? He grins at me, that toothy, almost crooked grin, obviously unaware of the dangerously close proximity of his knee to my groin. Before I can say anything, urgh… more bodies, I don't know who but… ow. I can't see a damn thing for a good five seconds before a little spot of sun breaks through and I can start to make out some shadows. Kiba's forehead was pressed down against my chin in the mess… and I can feel the warm trickle of blood from a throbbing crack in my lower lip. One of the worst sensations in the world, that. Burning, throbbing, itching, swelling, all in one minute and insignificant package. Sometimes I'd rather plant a shuriken in my leg.

"Shikama-" Kiba hacks, freeing loose locks of hair from the tussle of limbs above us. I can shift my eyes downtoward him, but not much else."You're…"

A tongue darts from between slack lips, catching me by surprise as it gently traces the path of blood on my chin, tingling deliciously with every centimeter to my lip. There the tongue disappears, and the trailing lips capture my own between themselves, sucking gently and chastely before pulling away, leaving me even more confused than I already was!

My head's a fog, have to think of something, something logical… and that's it, I'll analyze the situation. Kiba, licking my face… I get it now. Kiba's mannerisms are influenced by canines, which are extensively protective of their companions to the point where they will… clean an injured dog's wounds… gah! Disappointing! I was kind of hoping I'd become an instant Casanova and everybody wanted me. Right. And it doesn't help that it turned me on…

The weight above me slowly begins to shift, and I come to a quick conclusion that my attackers are starting to withdraw-especially since I can breathe again.

"What's taking you so long?" Ino growls. If I didn't know better I'd think she's rearing to beat the snot out of me, especially when she narrows her eyes and sourly puckers her lips like that.

"Whatever. So I can't have a civilized conversation without you guys knocking me senseless." I brush the sand off my shorts briskly, and turn my eyes back toward my assailants. "If you guys wanted me to join you so badly you could've just said something."

"But it was so much more fun this way!" Kiba grins again, but I refuse to respond one way or the other.

"Come on, Shikamaru, Naruto and Sasuke are waiting for us!"

"Then let them make out. We can do something else." I cross my arms, a little bitterly.

"Something less dangerous!" Sakura cuts in, peeping out from behind my shoulder. Of course no one moves. They're probably expecting me to know what to do. Really my only thought so far was getting the two 'rivals' some alone time.

Damn am I being generous today.

"I know!" Ino blurts. "I'm gonna get a tan!"

"Me too!" I just about cringe when it sinks in how bubbly Sakura tends to sound when she gets excited. I could only imagine what she'd sound like in bed… and by that I mean a squeaky toy. Heheh, it's actually a rather amusing visual. But of course it goes no farther than that.

And neither do I. If I get a tan, I get a tan. I don't really care. Maybe I'll take a walk, or watch the clouds… whatever, I guess.

Then again, they'll probably talk me into doing something stupid. They always do.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

I don't know why the hell I always fall right into their damn hands. First it was 'Shika, play beach volleyball with us,' and of course I said no. Then it was 'Shika, we don't have enough players,' and on and on until they managed to finally guilt trip me into the game. I wish I were cold hearted enough to just say 'no' no matter what, and smart enough not to listen when they start whining. Especially Ino, who can get me to do just about anything when she pulls my strings the right way. I think she knows me better than I do. It's scary. And it's not just her… Tenten, Sakura, even Kurenai… I don't know what it is about women. They're all evil masterminds if you ask me. They know what makes a man's head tick and, like the vile witches they are, they make him do all sorts of things he doesn't want to. Like beach volleyball. Ugh… a waste of energy.

And especially not worth it when you get knocked out halfway through the game.

I'm not completely sure how it happened. I think maybe my team was just cursed. I was standing right next to Shino when a stray spike nailed him right in the face… and I vaguely recall Kiba pointing and laughing hysterically… but after that… all I remember was opening my eyes to find myself surrounded by faces bleached by the sunlight and realizing I was laying flat on the ground with sand in some very uncomfortable places. I felt a little warm, slightly dizzy, and my face was still streaked with blood from a very massive nosebleed. At first I thought maybe someone had lost their swimtrunks/bikini, but that doesn't make sense. People don't really get nosebleeds from stuff like that… do they?

It turns out not to be that interesting at all. Kiba spiked the ball (as if he doesn't know any other way to hit the thing except as hard as he can), Hinata reached out to hit it and WHAP! Lights out. I don't know how I missed it. I'm a goddamned ninja, for crying out loud! At least I was only out for a couple of seconds and probably didn't suffer a concussion. But still, me… I'm supposed to be the smart one!

I've had enough of the whole beach experience for the day. I _don't _get embarrassed. No way… but damn am I embarrassed. I know it'll be a pivotal conversation point when we go back, and I am not meant to be the center of a conversation involving vacation bloopers.

I don't like this. I feel jittery and agitated. I think I need to take a soak in the Hot Springs. But even there I'm not safe. Someone will probably show up just to invade my space. Someone _always _invades my space. At least I know if I tell them where I'm off to, I'm less likely to get mauled for a third time… because apparently three is my unlucky number.

Before heading to the springs, I return to my room and gather up some civilian clothes and my hitai-ate. Not that I want to flaunt the fact that I'm a ninja… but I don't own any belts, as it turns out, and just my luck I was out of clean pants when I packed this morning, so I borrowed some from my dad. I thought we were about the same size, but I guess not. He blamed it on 'filling out with age.' Feh. I guess I look a lot like my dad, but I'm built more like the men on mother's side. Wide shoulders, thin waist as opposed to the more squared off and muscular build of my father's side. In other words, dad would probably beat me in a wrestling match. But then again, so would Naruto, and Kiba, and Neji, and Lee… and probably Shino. I'm not ashamed to admit that. Their fighting styles are more suited to the physical anyway… except maybe Shino, but he's just a big guy.

I'm not planning on wrestling any of them anytime soon. Or even seeing their faces, as a matter of fact. Right now all I care about is relaxing and shaking off this horrible lingering feeling of sand on my back. I can't get rid of it, and if I didn't know better I'd swear some of it was alive and fusing with my skin cells for optimum annoyance.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

When I step out from the showers, I am relieved beyond all measure of words that the hotel's springs are empty. No old fat men or giggling boys, no macaques or rodent type creatures… quiet. Finally.

I fold my towel neatly on a rock and slide into the warm water, my body shivering from the sudden change in temperature. This is nice. Very nice. I almost never visit the springs back in Konoha… it's a good change in routine, a seldomly enjoyed form of relaxation I was barely aware I'd been deprived.

I think at this point it's okay to let myself just drift away. There's no one here to bother me. Not one. I can almost forget that the rest of my day has been a stone's throw from enjoyable.

The telltale thwap of a bamboo door closing draws me back to reality. Through the fog I hear the slapping of bare feet on stone, the shuffle of a towel coming off. Oh well. But as long as the spring stays thinly populated, I'll still be able to relax. I let my body return to its slack position against the edge of the pool.

"Shikamaru?" I recognize that baritone… sharp, raw, a little on the husky side. Kiba. I open one eye to confirm my hypothesis. Yeah, Kiba. My eyelid falls back down and I release an affirming grunt. "Are you mad or something?"

I feel the water at my waist ripple as the dog boy lowers himself into the spring. "No."

His retort is a melodramatic sigh. "You sure seem mad."

I should have guessed something like this would happen. Kiba's as stubborn as a log and has trouble keeping what's on his mind in there. I let out my lung capacity in one quick exhale. "I'm not mad. You've seen me when I'm mad."

"Yeah, and that's how you look now." I open my right eye and direct it toward my accuser. He looks serious about this. Serious doesn't suit Kiba very well… makes him look angry, even when he's not. "We weren't trying to piss you off… we just wanted to include you. You're always such a freakin' hermit."

"If I'm pissed off, it's because you're invading my space with melodramatic bullshit."

"Damn it! Shikamaru, quit being a prick!"

Fine. You want prick. I'll give you prick! "If you really want to know so badly, I'm not having the greatest day, Inuzuka. I was trying to play matchmaker for Lee and Sakura, but you had to tackle me and mess everything up. And then, next thing I know, some brown haired dog boy spikes the ball right at my face, triggers Hinata's reflexes and knocks me flat unconscious!" I-I can't stop shaking and I… I don't want to snap…I don't know when he hit that nerve…

My body stiffens as I stand, turning and pulling myself from the water. Blindly, I grope for my towel, not on the rock… dammit! Where the hell did it go?

"Shika!" I'm just gonna ignore him. Finally getting a handful of familiar cloth, I wrap my towel around my waist once. Before I can tuck the edge of my towel in, his hand is firmly latched to my wrist, pulling and-oh shit!

There's a flash of white behind my eyes as I land. My face stings, and oh shit my knee feels messed up… what the fuck was he thinking? Shit, my lip…again! Same fucking split! I open my eyes slowly and…a collarbone? I smashed my lip on a collarbone. Wait… my eyes inch upward… and… oh gods I'm on top of him! Our bodies are completely pressed together and… he's gonna kill me as soon as he opens his eyes.

"He-ey! It's like a storyline from Icha Icha Paradise!" My head snaps toward the voice. There, propped against a rock are Sasuke and Naruto, both flashing sly looks in my direction. I fear my eyes have never been wider… nor have my cheeks ever been redder.

Gods… how did I not notice they were here?

"You need to get a new hobby, dobe, those plotless pornos on paper are going to rot your brain out."

I can't think. Oh, hell.

"Hey, Shika-kun! You might wanna take it inside, if you fuck him out here you're gonna get arrested!"

I feel a squirm underneath me. "Go back to sword fighting behind your little rock, you fuckin' voyeurs!" Wow. I didn't know Kiba knew words like 'voyeur'.

My eyes refocus on the man underneath me (and boy is he a man! His chest and stomach are solid as marble). He isn't even struggling to remove himself from under me, but I'm afraid if I don't get off him first, he's gonna get more than he bargained for. I already feel that familiar heat gathering down low. If he squirms one more time…

"Hey, Shika, get off me, you're heavy, man!" Thank the gods… or should I be saying dammit? Nah. I don't like people watching. Tried that. My mind wanders too much with other people around. "Come on, you're crushing me!"

I stand up sharply, snatching up my towel with one quick and tactful swoop. My knee is still protesting a little, but it's not as bad as I initially feared. Probably bruised.

I've come to the conclusion that I should NEVER take vacations. I think it turns me into a total moron, comparable to Naruto. Well, maybe not by brain capacity, but nobody else I know can get taken out on three separate occasions without counteracting even once.

But I'm still not going to go to those meetings. Gah, I'd rather be trapped in a small room with a rabid badger.

That being said, I'm spending the rest of my day indoors-lounging in the lobby or standing out on the balcony, the salty winds blowing through my hair… mm… that sounds nice… after I take a cold shower of course.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o..o.o.o.

I'm back in the dressing room before I know it, relieved beyond the worth of words for the chance to finally calm myself. It's completely out of character for me to lose my composure like that.

"Shikamaru?"

I felt him behind me, but I was hoping he'd stay quiet. I hoped in vain. I turn towards him. He looks… ashamed… dammit I have no idea what's going on. "Kiba…"

"I'm sorry… but… don't make anything of it, okay?" I don't know what to say… he's apologizing? For what?

"Sure, whatever." I divert my gaze.

"Your lip, it's…" I look up just in time to see the concern on his face before he puts a hand on my cheek, closes his eyes and gives me a perfect rerun… his soft tongue on my chin, taking my lip between his and…oh god I don't think he knows how sensual it feels, how it makes my entire body shiver. My hand instinctively touches hisneck and I push my tongue between his lips, probing every centimeter of his mouth. Especially his tongue. His tongue feels very strong, very soft… and very sensitive. I can feel him shiver gently as I trace a trail up the part of his tongue, very slowly teasing everything he so generously bares for me. His mouth opens wide, letting me in as deeply as I want… but his fist says something different as it curls against my shoulder. I take one last moment to nip on his lower lip before pulling away and taking a single step back. His hand gropes for the wall, absently.

Geez… I know I shouldn't have done that… but he asked for it.

I turn to get myself dressed, tying my hitai-ate around my waist at the very last. Kiba is still propped against the wall, staring holes into the floorboards. I guess it really was a mistake to kiss him like that. Like maybe I've scarred the guy for life.

And come to think-I'd thought today was going to be a good day when I woke up this morning.

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A/N: Hmm… I think Shikamaru has adult ADD (which, by the way, doesn't necessarily mean he's hyperactive, just that his mind wanders way too often.) Or maybe he's part kitty cat. I dunno…

NEXT TIME:

When faced with a choice, it isn't always obvious which path one should take. No matter which way one turns there will be adversity, and there's no telling where a path will lead. The most obvious choice may but lead to ruin, whereas taking a risk may spell great fortune. There is no guarantee, often the end of the road is not chosen by us, but by those around us and things that no one can control.

But the important thing to remember is: no matter which choice is made, what really matters is that you realize, once it's done… it's too late to regret.


	3. The Path Less Traveled

Disclaimer: Naruto and all characters are… blah blah blah…

A/N: Rating is now M. You can see why just from the previous chapters, I'm sure.

Comments: Good. Flames: A hockey team (Go Avs).

CHAPTER THREE: The Path Less Traveled

I climb the stairs to my hotel room in a hurry, closing the door sharply behind me. This is why I don't take initiative. I don't want to deal with troublesome messes like this. Sure, rejection's no fun, and once something like this happens nothing is quite the same anymore, but worse than that is cleaning up the aftermath. No. Not now. No more thinking. Just relax. You're on vacation, Shikamaru. Act like it. Drink some sake and forget about it. That's what Kiba will probably do. And when we get back to the Leaf, we can keep it to ourselves and blame it on the atmosphere. Everything will be fine.

Dammit, where'd I put my sake? I know I brought some, and I'm sure as hell not going back to the store to buy more…

Why is it that whenever you lose something it's in the most annoying place? After finally untangling the bottle from a couple of unruly articles of clothing, I unbutton my shirt and head for the balcony. It's too early to sleep, and I'm too lazy to unpack my clothes beyond the pile dislodged in the search for my liquor.

My sake bottle in one hand, an unlit cigarette in the other, I nudge open the sliding doors with the better part of my shoulder. The warm greeting of the setting sun is welcome as I step outside, the wind tugging gently at my hair and clothes, not quite cold though I can tell it soon will be. I comply with the wind's gesture and pull the tie free of my hair, letting it fall for the wind to do with what it will before I finally light the cigarette hanging from the corner of my mouth.

I could revel in this forever.The beauty of nature is awe inspiring, really. All the shades of oranges and reds that grace the skies, placed so skillfully that not even the most gifted artist's rendition can accurately depict them... nature is marvelous. I envy her.

Gah, my whole day ruined… I know I told myself not to think about it, but…

Normally I don't mind nothing happening in my days. In fact, I live for pointless days, lolling my time away without a care, without decisions and consequences. No goals to reach or deadlines to meet. But today… today was anything but one of those days. I hate it. I want something else. Something simple. Why does life have to be so complicated all the damn time?

Ah, to live as the wind or float as the cloud. Now that would be magnificent…heaven even, if such a place exists. The wind pushes my hair away from my face, as if it had fingers of its own. Is it trying to grant my wish, I wonder? If this is as close as I can get...

The view from here really is far better than that from my apartment. The sky in all it's untouchable brilliance and bold color unblemished by buildings and chimney smoke… if I could, I would live in a place this peaceful forever. Maybe, if I outlive my years as a ninja I'll move to the beach where days are peaceful and the weight of the world is powerless to hold me down. Nothing against the hustle bustle city life of a place like Konoha, but really, too much happens there. Just last week when I was on a mission, my apartment was nearly burnt down. Apparently the woman living below me decided it was a good idea to leave her stove on while she went to the gambling house. And people call _me_ lazy. Well, maybe I am, but at least I'm not STUPID and lazy.

I still can't get the smell of smoke out of my carpet.

o.o.o.o.o..o.o.o.o.o

I watch, moment by moment as the sky darkens, enveloping the visual like a coffin, bringing with it bitter memories and making more than the tips of my fingers feel cold. One more thing has died before my eyes. I hate the coming of night. I didn't used to. Night, for me, is when the loneliness of life sinks in… it makes me think of death… and emptiness. As a ninja, you see too many things, but it never affects you when it happens. No. It hurts in your alone hours, when some simple comfort has been stripped from you. This is when it finds me, in this slim hour after darkness steals the sun.

I have to get out of here… I have to find Chouji, or Ino, or Neji… someone who's used to me showing up at this hour.

…I can't find my hair tie, but that's all right. I close the door behind me quietly and start making my way down the steps to the lobby. I'm kind of surprised at how empty it feels, especially considering the rowdy bunch I tag along with. I can hear only two voices from down below, and I know if I strained enough I could make out what they're saying.

Wait…one of the voices…that's Ino… "…yeah, Naruto and some of the others went out drinking."

"So we have time to talk?" It's a male voice… I can't yet place it, but-"Ino…I-I…"

Every step I take brings the voice closer. "Ssh, ssh, it's okay, you can talk to me." A brief silence. "Here, have some sake. It'll calm you down. Now, tell me what's wrong."

I decide to mask my presence. Maybe I can sneak by without getting noticed. "Ino! Shikamaru kissed me!"

Kiba? Fuck.

"What? Shikamaru kissed you?" I hear a laugh.

"It's not funny!"

She coughs. "Sorry, it's just… Shikamaru always seemed so disinterested in things like that, even during puberty…" That's not true. During puberty I was fucking like mad. I just never brought it up. " To think he'd just up and kiss you is, well, odd."

"Oh, god, Ino! I-he-you don't understand! His tongue was in my mouth, touching things and feeling _really_ good and… and…"

"So he's a good kisser?"

I can hear Kiba's voice rumbling, almost like a growl. "Ino! A fucking man kissed me! And not just a man, fucking Shikamaru! _Shikamaru_!"

Fuck. I don't wanna hear it anymore. A burning sort of shock rips through me, from the pit of my stomach, elevating at the chest, then dissipating in my throat. I don't remember walking... but I step right past them to the sink, I don't know what I was supposed to do. Whatever it was, I can't remember now.

Now they know I heard part of their conversation. And why not? Damn it. My fingers grip the cold porcelain like a vice, leaving my hands white knuckled, not to mention my ego crushed.

And I keep getting those shocks. I don't like it. I knew Kiba was upset… but I didn't want to hear it…

"Shika-kun?" The tone in Ino's voice is very inappropriate, almost teasing. I'd punch her if she weren't a girl. I let my head slide just enough to glare at her through strands of hair. She's coming towards me now. I want to push her away, tell her to back the fuck up and give her a good violent shove. Why can't she ever be fucking serious?…

I feel her standing beside me-looking-at me. I turn away. People don't 'look' at me.

"Oh my gosh, it is you!" What? I look down at her, raising one inquisitive eyebrow. "I've never seen you with your hair down before!" Really? That's odd. Not that I hide it or anything… she laughs lightly, placing her hand in front of her mouth. "And the outfit-my, my. Aren't we turning into a perfect little Sasuke." I can feel her eyes, sizing me up-but what did she mean by that Sasuke comment, anyway? If I could glare any harder, gods help me I would.

"Ino…" My eyes dart to the table where Kiba still sits. He looks strangely distraught-or maybe that's not the word for it…hmm… not really mad or upset, just very… unsettled. Yes, I suppose that's more accurate.

"Shika… my god, I could just eat you up." Okay, now that's weird. Especially when paired with that sugar sweet smile that makes my teeth feel like rotting. Her hand reaches up, gently taking a lock of my hair between her slim fingers. Reflexively I shove her away, turning back to the sink.

Dammit. What's her problem? "Shouldn't you be comforting Kiba, you heartless harpy?" I didn't know my voice could growl so low. The feeling I catch from her as she slowly backs away is much like defeat, but quickly switches over to a brewing sort of anger. She'll be fine in the morning. Of that I have no doubts. But the woman needs to get priority.

I give the air a second to still.

Kiba…he sure does look like an abused puppy right now. I think he's avoiding looking at me altogether. Damn. I hate this. I'm not good in awkward situations. I step up to him slowly, careful not to induce any more shock than I already have. "Kiba… I can't apologize." Dammit, my throat is catching. This is really hard for me. "I wasn't expecting to kiss you… you made me… or should I say… my body just acted as it thought you wanted it to."

I try to step away, but he grabs hold of the loose fabric of my sleeve. Not really enough to do anything but catch my attention. "Don't call Ino a heartless harpy." He doesn't sound mad or offended, but either way I jerk my arm violently out of his fingers. That's the last thing I need to hear. "Just answer me one thing, Shikamaru… why did you kiss _me_?"

Great. Now it's confrontation time. Just another thing I adamantly hate. I look down, letting out an annoyed sigh. And it doesn't help that now his eyes are intently fixed on me. "Because everything about you… everything you did today, just turned me on. I don't really know any other way to say it without bending the truth."

I don't think he expected such a straightforward answer. "Turned you on?"

I shrug. "Yeah, I'm still a man, aren't I? Last time I checked it was still attached."

He seems unnecessarily nervous. "But…guys are supposed to like girls."

"I do like girls."

His eyes shoot up at me, some unseen emotion boiling over and burning away all of his nerves. "Then I look like a girl to you?"

I cross my arms. "No. Not a bit. Can't you just drop it already?"

"No! I want an explanation, dammit!"

"How troublesome." That sure riled him up. He's gonna fall apart, shaking that hard. I don't know why he keeps it up. It's not like I wanted to be here, I already said I hate arguing. "Look, if I'd known how badly you were going to overreact to this… I would have handled myself better."

Damn this guy… all I want to do is go back to my room and forget this. Grr… he makes me want to tear my hair out.

"Fuck, Shika! Why would you love-"

"-I never said anything about love. Truth be told, I just want to fuck you." Part of me, a big part actually, can't believe I just up and said that.

"You wanna wha!" I don't bother opening my eyes. I can picture his expression clear as day.

"-fuck you. You're hot and I want to fuck you. Or fool around, if that's too much…" I can picture him shaking…it's like nobody has ever said things like this to him before… well, okay. I am being aggressively straightforward. He's probably just feeling intimidated. As little as I like to admit it, I'd probably feel like jumping out of my skin and hiding in a corner, too.

I hear him shuffle, the sound of wood grating against the floor. "Fool around…I could do that…"

What did he just-my eyes snap open and focus on the slightly taller man standing like a pillar right in front of me. Gods, I think he actually liked my aggressive manner… "What? I thought you didn't like guys."

Kiba looks down at the floor, thoughtfully touching his chin… and still shaking. "I…never thought about it. I guess if we fool around and I don't like it… then it's okay and won't hurt anybody."

He still looks scared to me. "Whatever. Just don't force yourself." I brush my hair back, casually. "I don't want you to go and do something you'll regret in the morning." Because _my_ ass is the one on the line if you do. I've seen one night stands go awry far too many times. After all, I am close friends with Ino, who's had her fair share of one-nighters and make out buddies. It amazes me, even now, how many of them come back and try to blackmail her… or maybe Ino just has bad taste. Actually, that's probably it, but I don't want to take that chance. "Besides, you're shaking like you just saw a ghost. Come back when you're more confident. Like I said, I don't want you to do something you'll regret."

I step past, casually. At least now he'll probably take a moment to collect himself. Besides, if he really wants me he can sniff me out…wait…

Shit! What am I saying? I just had consent to feel up Kiba, from his own mouth and I threw it out the window! STUPID! Why do these things always take so long to sink in? Stupid! If I played my cards right, I probably could have gotten some, tonight! But now… gah! I'm a total, complete and utter moron! And now I can't take it back without seeming desperate…

"Wait, Shika!" A hand on my sleeve again. "Don't make me think about this, Shika-kun! If I think about this, I'm not gonna have the balls to do it, anymore! I-want-you-_now_!"

Hallelujah.

sxkxsxkxsxkxsxk

A/N: Shikamaru's hung out with Asuma for far too long. I'd figure it would make sense for him to pick up some of Asuma's -ahem- less admirable traits...

Huzzah for boy/boy goodness!

NEXT TIME:

There is no point in hesitation. To hesitate in battle is to come face to face with death. However, one who rushes in blindfolded often comes to the same fate. The trick is recognizing where one starts and the other begins.

That however, is another lesson all in itself.


	4. It's About Time

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

LISTEN UP! THIS IS THE EDITED VERSION.

A/N: Herm... had to tone down this chapter for this site. If you want to read the unedited version, it can be found in the Naruto archive of adultfanfiction dot net under my same penname(EternalEmbrace). It's not too much. Just a few paragraphs.

Here's the spaced link if you want to bother that way... just delete the spaces.

Or PM me and I'll just send it to you.

CHAPTER FOUR: It's About Time…

Aren't the simple things in life always so much more enjoyable? Watching the world go by, I've come to realize-nothing much happens because of me. If I stood still for an eternity, the world would move on in much the same way it always has. To me, that is everything. I know that I have no real significance in the life of the planet. It doesn't make me feel small. Really, I just feel grateful that I was aloud to come along for the ride. I don't need proof of existence or a reason to live. I feel happy just to be.

And as I feel Kiba's lips come in contact with mine willingly, it all falls into place. This is something I can have, just for me. I don't need a reason to want it. I don't need to dream up imaginary excuses we call consequences. No. This is significant only because we are here, and even though it changes nothing in the scheme of the world, it doesn't matter.

Keh. At times like this, I worry that I'm starting to sound like Lee.

Kiba's tongue brushes nervously against my lips, tracing them gently as if creating a map. I close my eyes and open my lips as an invitation. His hand on my shoulder tightens and a hesitant tongue pushes through, forcing my mouth wider in the process. His tongue fumbles awkwardly for a moment, obviously not sure how to lead the kiss. I place my hand on the back of his head and take a handful of hair.

He gasps. I figured as much.

Tightening my grip on his hair, I thrust my tongue forward, pushing him up against the wall. "Itai!" oops…too hard? "Shika, my legs!" I grimace and pull back, letting him shift into a more comfortable position. He uncrosses his legs and stretches them out to either side of my knees. "Sorry, this bed is too squishy."

I hesitantly smirk at him. "Maybe a little."

One hand braces the wall as I pin Kiba with an aggressive kiss before once again being pushed away. "Wait!" I can feel my face twisting irritably. Kiba's not stupid, I know he's aware of my predicament. "This is the last time, I swear!" The brunet crawls around me, thudding off the bed and hurriedly scampering toward the door. I hear a clank from Kiba's direction, something vaguely like metal hitting metal. I turn curiously. The lock. He's locking the door. That little devil. He's just begging for it. "There. We don't want to get caught, do we?"

I smile wickedly toward my companion. "Nor do we want you escaping, hmm?" That comment makes him blush. I think I like seeing him blush. It's very out of character, and I suppose it also gives me the feeling I have the edge on him. I like to see this proud and aggressive boy submit… I don't mean that in a sick way… but I mean it nonetheless. I want him to wrap his legs around me and moan in pleasure while begging for more. That's what I mean.

That's right. For the next hour or so… he's mine. I reach out and curl my hand around his hip, pulling him back toward the bed. Lifting up his shirt, I attack the soft skin of his navel, dipping my tongue inside before working my way up those beautiful stomach muscles, paying homage to each and every chiseled curve. God, his stomach is delicious. I could spend all night on this one spot…

…but the rest of him demands attention as well.

Letting his shirt fall back into place, I rise to my knees, very pleased when I hear the object of my desire's whimpered protest. But I do not like to waste time teasing. I immediately latch on to Kiba's exposed throat, licking and nibbling the sensitive places right above his shoulder and at the small hollow between his ear and his jaw. I can feel him purring…actually purring beneath my touch. My hands wander down towards his chest, and for a moment I feel him stiffen. Trailing my tongue across his jawline I take a moment to pull away, nuzzling my nose under his chin reassuringly. "Is this too much?"

He breathes heavily and I feel his grip on my shirt tightening. "N-no…good. Feels good."

I smile against the crook of his neck, before returning to my task of devouring this delectable man whole. Kissing my way back up his throat, I capture his lip in my mouth, sucking gently, all the while tactfully removing his black coat. He accepts readily, parting his lips wide for the kiss. His kisses are inexperienced, but lack nothing in passion. With a little practice, he could really put that passion to good use.

No. Bad Shikamaru. Keep your thoughts PG-13.

At least… for now.

Kiba's fingers are immeasurably warm as he places his hands on my neck, gently thumbing my jaw with a touch so soft it almost makes my skin crawl.

And here I thought Kiba would like it rough… shows how well I know people. Though, it's obvious by his touches that he thinks he's supposed to be the one in control. We'll see about that. He has to see how it's done before I'll willingly roll over for him. But for now, as his hands start to venture down my sides and he pushes me up against the wall… I'll let it slide. Those strong hands of his feel so good caressing my skin, so warm and assured, his thumbs leading the way down firmly, though his touches remain considerably gentle. Hn… those thumbs of his are so skilled, so much more forceful and agile than those of a woman…

…Good gods, what have I been missing?

"Shikamaru?"

"Hmm?"

"Is it okay if I…can I…?" I feel his fingers curling around my collar, and now that I look at him, I find him staring intently at me, waiting for an answer as if his life depended on it.

How troublesome. "Anything."

He blushes faintly as he pulls my shirt down off my shoulders. "A-anything?"

"That's what I said. Men aren't like women, the less you hold back the better, you know?" I assume that blush means 'I had no idea.' "So don't treat me like a woman." I lean in to nip at his earlobe, "Got it?"

Hesitantly, Kiba settles one hand under my armpit, his head carefully lowering to trace designs on my chest with his tongue. I lean back, supporting my upper body weight on my elbows. I should have figured he'd be good with his tongue…

Stop it. Think unsexy thoughts… I can't jump him… not yet…

"Hmmm…." A shock erupts through my body with that little hum, which he plants right into my navel. "You taste good… almost sweet." His thumb is still swirling against my side. I just might have to show those hands of his my appreciation.

Taking two fistfuls of chocolate colored hair, I pull the Inuzuka up, capturing him in a kiss far more aggressive than the others.

He bites my lip, gazing up at me with half-lidded eyes. Even better than that look, that sexy, needy look… are the hands resting firmly on my hips, the thumbs dipping dangerously into the creases of my thighs. He nips at my collarbone, his mouth smiling against my skin. I feel a soft stroke down below… and his thumbs… back and forth against my clothed thighs…

"Kiba… hnnn… you're… getting more confidence…"

Kiba pulls back, suddenly, taking a moment to look me straight in the eyes. "Shika…" He looks like he was ready to say more, but the words choked off in his throat. "…pretty." I bare my neck as he starts kissing my jawline, fluttering kisses from my ear to the tip of my chin before biting down softly on the side of my neck. In response, I let my hands slide down his firm back, slipping the tips of my fingers right below the hem of his pants. Even though I can feel him tense, he doesn't break his kisses.

My fingers are just aching to reach down and get a nice handful of flesh. But he's trying to beat me to it. His fingers fumble with my hitai-ate… and I'm amazed. As badly as he's failing, he's still managed to kiss me without tensing his lips. Good boy. Slipping my fingers over his, I carefully instruct him, and the hitai-ate quickly drops down to the sheets between my legs, my hips subconsciously thrusting toward Kiba's still leaning body. His hands make their way inside, brushing against skin far too sensitive for it's own good. God, I don't know how much of this teasing I'm going to be able to take…

"Good boy…"

Kiba smirks up at me, looking so dangerously sexy from below a lowered brow. Dammit I want to fuck him… and the thought just makes my erection throb harder, just when I thought it couldn't hurt any worse.

Pushing the man away, I sit up rigidly, forcing my way off the bed. "Kiba… I need to go to the bathroom, just for a minute…"

"Wh-what? Shika…"

"You're too damn hot, okay? If I don't get rid of some of this tension I'm going to burst something." I rake a hand through his brown locks, reassuringly, my hand tracing down to thumb one of the red tattoos on his cheek.

"Wait!" I gaze back down at the sitting figure, watching curious eyes dart wildly, almost nervously. "Let-let me try."

Before I can respond, Kiba pulls on the waistband of my pants until I'm kneeling on the bed again, his face looking quite determined, despite the shaking of his hands. His eyes narrow as he starts peeling down the fabric of my boxers, almost as if he doesn't know what to expect. Experienced or not, I'm not complaining.

"Don't worry, it's no different than yours. Just do what you do to yourself…" I place a soft kiss on his forehead. Kiba nods, finally releasing me from the confines of my underwear. Mmm… the cold air feels kinda good…

"It's not the same…" I stare down at Kiba. What? "Y-yours is a… bigger."

"Oh, such a minor detail…" Nonchalantly I brush the tips of my fingers over the bulge still hiding under his pants. "I'm sure it's perfect, then. I've always thought mine was a bit excessive." Which is exactly why Asuma-sensei won't go to the Hot Springs with me anymore.

"I'm not afraid or anything…" The blushing man inhales deeply as his long callused fingers wrap firmly around my shaft. "Okay-so maybe I'm a little nervous, give me a break."

I simply smirk in reply. He's so refreshingly honest, and as skittish as he seems to think he is, he's really quite brave to be taking all of this in at once.

He moves, slowly, watching the skin under his fingers pull with his motion, eyes narrowed in concentration as if he is analyzing the act. But as silly as he looks, it feels good… achingly slow… but good. "Shika?"

"Mm?"

"Do you have any lotion or anything?" Damn. Good point. I'm not going to have him spit on his hand… not that I've ever had to do that…

…it works, _okay_?

"Shit. No. There might be some in the bathroom, I dunno. I don't really stay in hotels often."

He stops, his eyes absently grazing the sheets swirling around his knees. "Well…" You can practically hear the gears cranking. I can tell something clicks when his eyes stop wandering and suddenly lock on one random spot on the sheets. "Please don't punch me…"

Please don't what? I look down at him quizzically, but I don't meet his eyes when I do. Instead I come face to face with a mass of dishelved brown hair… and… oh…

God…never enough. Never fucking enough…

"Kibahhh… coming!" I can't believe I managed those two words…

Kiba's lips surprisingly tighten at my words. I can't… can't not anymore…

He's coughing. Flicking my eyes down toward Kiba, I smile, ever so faintly. He's a downright mess. "You should have listened to me…"

One final cough. "Yeah, well, experimenting, right? Swallowing is harder than I thought…" He smiles, looking rather awkward while trying to wipe my seed from his chin. "Deepthroating… surprisingly easier."

I laugh. "You probably just don't chew your food."

"Hey, you jerk!" He grins from under very soft looking brown locks of hair, giving me a punch in the shoulder that's maybe a little harder than he intended. I smile back, pulling a pillow under my head and folding one arm beneath it. Kiba is definitely a handsome guy. If Sasuke weren't around, I doubt Kiba would be overlooked as often as he is. I reach out a hand and start to roll a lock of his hair. Not as soft as I was hoping, but not bad.

"Kiba?" He crosses his hands on my stomach to rest his chin, just looking at me instead of replying. "Your turn?"

He hesitates. "Hmm… naw."

"Too far?"

An almost sheepish smile creases his face. "No, you dork. Stop saying that!"

I frown. "Okay then. What do you want to do now?"

He's making it hard to ignore his increased heart rate. He raises himself with his hands, my skin still barely brushing the fabric of his shirt… and he crawls his way up, momentarily assaulting the muscles in my neck… nipping his way up to my lips. He grabs hold of my lower lip with his teeth before planting a feather light kiss on that very same spot. "I wanna… how do I put this? I wanna…"

I'm already half aroused and have plenty of pent up energy to spend. I know what _I_ wanna do. "Fuck?"

"Yeah, that."

Holy motherfucking shit. The gods must really be in my favor tonight.

sxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxk

A/N: Okay, okay. So the next chapter will be an edited version too.

NEXT TIME:

There is a word. Everyone who knows this word smiles when they hear it. this word is not love. No, it is simpler than that… and much easier to say. This word never breaks hearts. This word never speaks tomes.

However, there's no guarantee that, below the surface, this word will still mean the same thing once it's said and done.


	5. A Prelude To War?

Disclaimer: On second thought… I do own Naruto.

A/N:Okay, once again EDITED VERSION

Real one is on AFF. net in the Naruto archive. And I've found it's easier to just click on the M/M subcategory than to go all the way through author directory.

And last chapter I was uber-dumb and forgot to put down the spaced url before posting. So here this one is.Delete the spaces, but otherwise leave it as is.

naruto. adultfanfiction. net/ story. php? no600000016 & chapter5

CHAPTER FIVE: A Prelude to War?

I hate the rain.

Especially when the skies are so clear and it seems to come out of nowhere. And that's just what happened.

I mean… dammit! What kind of hotel doesn't even give you hand lotion? I know what kind… the kind where my asshole friends are staying. I swear if I find out Naruto was in my room… I'll kill him. No, I'll hurt him until he kills himself. That's what I'll do.

Sneaking out of my own window to go to a store isn't exactly how I pictured my first sexual encounter with a crush. If I didn't know it was going to be worth it, I'd just call it 'troublesome' and go back to my room, curl up in the sheets and sleep.

But dammit. Things like this don't get second chances.

I wish I were smart enough to have packed a jacket, if nothing else. Kiba has his over his head, and even though it mustn't do much, it's better than my soaked through shred of fabric… I'm probably going to catch cold, but I don't care, to be honest. So I'll be spewing snot all over those (already) snot nosed kids I teach… and then they'll finally know how I feel. Most of them are good kids, but gods! Learn how to use a fucking tissue!

Cold… fuck…

"Hey, Shika… you okay, man?" He shouldn't be talking. Looking at him… he's twice as miserable as I am… a little drowned puppy… heheh. He'd hate me for that one.

"Troublesome… this whole thing…"

"You wanna call it off?" My head snaps toward him, awkwardly. Dammit. I think he's having second thoughts… "You look awful… and… yeah."

I divert my gaze and keep walking. I wanted to just lash out, you know? 'What the fuck, are you a fucking moron? Why the hell would I drag my lazy ass out in the pouring fucking rain just to NOT get some? I'M FUCKING HORNY!' Err… not a good idea. I guess I'm just getting cranky.

"No."

For a tourist location, this place stinks. The only open convenience type store on the strip isn't the kind of place I like to venture. But, then again… it is pretty late, so I shouldn't really be surprised. The inside is dim and musty, even the paint is chipped and faded. From the street I can see two inbred looking men, both wearing crappy clothes and chewing something-I'd rather not know what.

But a store is a store, dammit.

I walk up to the door without much hesitation. Kiba soon follows, but he's obviously very unsettled by the men inside. I just know what's going to happen… it's not pretty. All I can do is hold Kiba back so it doesn't end up in unnecessary bloodshed.

I make sure to lead Kiba past the counter quickly… in silence. "Just look for anything we can use, all right… lubricants, lotions, vegetable oil…" And find it quick so we can get the hell out of here.

"Shika…" he tugs loosely on my rain soaked shirt. "There's candy and chips… but I don't think they have any of that stuff…"

"They do." I take a backward glance toward my companion. "They always do… but it's not always right out in the open…"

I hear a chuckle from somewhere behind.

"Hey, you guys lookin' for somethin?" Dammit. I wish… just this once, that I'd been wrong. All right… think Shikamaru.

"Yeah. Do you guys have any like… olive oil or something?" Kiba smiles warmly. God, he must be biting his cheek like something fierce.

More laughs. "No sir, nothin like that now. I dun know why you'd need something like that at this time of night."

Kiba takes a bold step forward, suddenly looking very stoic… "Could I speak with you in private for a moment?"

I'm not sure exactly what he's trying to do here. He'd better not start a fight, that's all I have to say. I'm wet and cranky-and lazy to boot, no way I want to get involved in a brawl. Not that I'd want to waste my time, anyway. I've always been a firm believer that no one should do anything they don't have or want to. I've never really liked fighting, to tell the truth. Every once in a while the adrenaline rush is great, but all in all… I'd rather be watching the clouds.

"Thanks!" When I turn this time, Kiba is smiling brightly, even though, if you ask me, he still seems kind of weirded out…

"Kiba?" He pushes up against my side, almost sandwiching against me.

The man, returning to his post behind the counter, whispers a few things to his companion, quiet enough that all I can make out is the high pitched sound of hissing s's.

"What did you tell them?" I nudge my elbow into his arm. He smiles at me, that goofy lopsided grin he gets when he's far too sure of himself, but says nothing. That means I probably don't want to know.

After a few moments, one of the men across the counter passes Kiba a rolled over paper bag. I'll be damned.

"Dun worry, kid. It's on the house."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

I don't know what time it is, exactly. The moon says it's past midnight… but just how far past, I don't know for sure. We stopped under a tree on the way back, and as much as I want to get back to my room, I'm glad. I'm starting to feel that chill, the deep one that permeates into my bones. I feel like a drowned rat out here, and dammit I wish the rain would stop. Kiba feels it too. I can tell by the way his shivers mimic my own. We'd look like a pair of morons if anyone happened to be looking.

But it doesn't look like the rain will be stopping anytime soon.

"Kiba?"

He glances at me from the corner of his eyes, the cold deterring him from his usual content smile. "I was just thinking… we could have been back by now if Akamaru were here…"

That's right… Akamaru didn't come along. Curious, but… whatever. "Hn. We should sit by the fireplace in the lobby while our clothes hang dry…"

Kiba releases a dry laugh. "Kinda kills the mood we had, don't it?"

"Sneaking out my window did that."

His head snaps toward me, a motion so eerily quick and fluid I falter for a second. "Really? I thought it was kind of exciting… well, until I smelled those creepy guys at the convenience store."

Now that he mentions it… "What was with those two anyway?"

Kiba scratches his cheek, a gesture that I've learned means uncertainty or unease. "Eh… I'm not sure you really want to know, but… when we first starting walking up to the place I caught a scent, you know… I wasn't quite sure what it was at first… but once we got inside I realized it was the smell of… well… sex."

I chuckle to myself, a sound that barely passes as a sound at all. "I don't know why that bothered you, we were going to do that too, right?"

He blushes faintly. "Yeah… well… that's not why it bothered me. It was the other scent I caught from them."

"Other scent?"

"They were brothers."

Uh… right… "That doesn't mean they were…"

"There wasn't anyone else there, unless there was a ninja in the backroom who knew how to hide their scent."

Gah. No wonder they looked so inbred. "Hmm… you were right. I was better off not knowing."

He flashes me that smile again. That same damn smile. By god, I think it's actually quite charming… in-in an excited puppy kind of way. But I guess it suits him… considering this trip has probably been the first time I've seen him without a dog in tow.

"Shouldn't we start moving again, Shika-kun? It's freaking cold out here." He rises to his feet slowly, the same face that was smiling moments ago sneering into the pouring rain like he could intimidate it into stopping. "Besides, we need to get you back in the mood again."

He reaches down and grasps my hand in his. It's hard to believe it can feel so damn warm when I feel chilled to the bone. "Not that I'm complaining, but…" I almost stutter when his eyes meet mine. "Whatever happened to 'I'll fool around and if I don't like it it's okay'?"

Kiba blinks twice, looking almost lost. "Is-is this not okay?" His grip loosens. "I-I thought you said…"

Not like that! Kiba…

"Dammit, Kiba… I'm just cold okay?" I let my fingers wrap around the hood of his jacket and slowly slide down the wet fabric. "I can be a little bitch at times like this… ignore it." I push up to him and put my mouth to his ear, purposely letting my lips brush against it as I speak. "I'm still going to fuck you."

Hmm… a shudder? Maybe he's just cold? Let's hope it's more than that.

Wandering hands find themselves brushing dangerously close to my ass. "Hn. You can fuck me if you can pin me. I'm not going to roll over without a fight, Shi-ka-ma-ru." With the last syllable Kiba slides his index finger down the back seam of my pants… running right down…

Shit… I'm starting to wonder if I'm wrong in thinking this boy is a naïve little virgin. Sure he's never been with a man before… but, then again, neither have I.

Before I've completely regained my bearings the heat is gone. I open my eyes hazily to find him trotting back in the direction of the hotel, a wide, toothy and arrogant smile etched across his rain soaked features.

So he likes to play games? Fine with me.

o.o.o.o.o..o.o.o.o.o.

According to the man behind the service desk, it rains like this all the time on the coast. No wonder their bathrobes are on the house, unlike so many hotels where they pile an ungodly amount of money onto your already ridiculous bill if they find out you used one.

After raiding our respective bathrooms, the two of us meet up in the lobby to sit by the fire and dry out our rain-drenched hair and wrinkled fingers.

"Oh man! I'm so fuckin' soaked!" Ruffling his hair violently with one of the hotel's complimentary towels, Kiba plops down on the floor in front of the fireplace.

After patting away some of the excess moisture I drape my own towel around my neck and sit down beside him, wondering for only a moment why I brought down a towel if I'm not even going to use it. Oh well. I figure I'll let my hair dry out most of the way on it's own, but I guess the towel will keep my bathrobe dry… or something like that. I don't like drying rain wet hair with towels. There's no sense in knotting it all up and making myself look scruffy. That kind of look might be cute on someone like Kiba… but as for me… I'd look like I've been dragged through the street tied to the back of a cart during a rainstorm.

A loud popping-cracking type sound snaps me from my daze, directing my eyes to the grinning man sitting beside me. "Ready?" I blink a couple of times. "All right! No ninjutsu or genjutsu or any of that, got it? Me versus you in a good ol' fashioned one fall wrestling match."

So he meant it after all. A little more literally than I figured, but all right…and I know just how to pin him down despite his superior strength. "Okay, Kiba."

A devilish smirk crosses his lips as he lunges forward, pushing off his right foot without a moment's hesitation.

He's quick, I'll give him that, but he's definitely failed to surprise me, which I figure was his initial intention. I duck down and push forward a little myself, linking my arms around his waist and grasping my own wrists in a manner he shouldn't be able to break. Pushing my cheek hard against his chest, I brace myself with one leg and wait. When he realizes he cannot simply push me over he reaches around and attempts to pry apart my arms. Damn, he's freakin' strong… but I have to hold on a moment more and… there!

I whip my head forward and bite down on his left nipple through his robe, applying just enough quick pressure to hurt…

"ITAAAAAAAA-I!" Reflexively he returns the aggression, biting down on the first mouthful of flesh he can reach. It happens to be the top of my ear. Sure, it hurts, but it's just an ear.

…Then my neck. Right along my jugular… biting, sucking… shit… feels good. That little bastard. Stole my idea.

I counterattack with a nice, firm, not-so-casual dry grope. Despite his earlier implications, his bulge feels impressive enough to me… especially since he's already half hard and getting harder by the second. I smile when he shudders beneath my touch. Looks like I have the edge.

Time to go for the kill.

Locking him in an aggressive open-mouthed kiss, I push my fingers under the fold of his robe and start caressing the skin I find there, wasting absolutely no time at all. He bucks into me softly, a gesture I just don't want to-_can't_ ignore. I delve deeper, pushing with my tongue and my hands until I feel what I'm searching for… a little smile crosses my lips and pulls my tongue from the kiss momentarily. I give the now fully erect organ a gentle brush, instantly reveling in the heated mewls that emanate from Kiba's throat. He bucks his hips toward me again, this time more of a demand than a request.

Wrapping my fingers gently around his length, I start lowering him toward the floor. He's not fighting at all. Then again… why would he?

I start placing light, lapping kisses under his jaw, very careful not to break the rhythm or alternating pressure of my strokes.

When he reaches out to grab my shoulder I pin his wrist to the floor. "Shika-wait-stop…"

Gah… how troublesome. "Dammit, you used up all your timeouts."

He chuckles-well, something between a chuckle and a gasp. He still hasn't quite recovered. "Not here."

Not here?-oh… right.

Impatiently I grab hold of my companion's wrist, pulling the both of us to our feet with one quick jerk.

I swear my room couldn't be further away at this point. But eventually we reach it… dammit… and it's so hard to goddamn move with a raging hardon…

I slam the door and flip the lock.

Clothes… they gotta go.

I smash my mouth into his, only breaking to pull the tie on his robe and discard it on the floor. My fingers venture across that smooth, perfect chest, tracing lean muscle and devouring every curve. This form is the type women lust after and men envy. This is the kind of body meant to be worshipped…

…and gods help me, that is exactly my intent. Why this man ever wears clothes is quite beyond me.

He tugs hard on my robe, pulling me on top of him in a not so conspicuous way.

"My, aren't we behaving?"

He smiles, his earlier timid demeanor returning with a hot blush to his cheeks. "I was testing… to see if, well… to see if I could get you to show a little enthusiasm." He instantly starts scratching his cheek.

"I'm always enthusiastic when sex is involved." I smirk. The smiling but shy look on his face is replaced with downright innocent shock. Even his finger stopped in mid-scratch, hovering over his tattoo like he forgot what he was doing completely. "Though, I have to say, I'm very surprised you're taking bottom so easy. I really believed you were going to fight for it."

He smiles again. "I want to feel everything. I can just go with any girl and be top."

"You're right." I plant a single kiss on the ridge of his collarbone. "But that's enough foreplay, flip onto your stomach so I can reward you for being such a good doggie."

o.o.o.o.o.o..o.o.o.o

"Shika?"

"Hmm?"

"You've done all this before, haven't you?" My eyes shift over to the man laying on his side next to me, my fingers never stalling as they gently rub back and forth across the nape of his neck.

"Sure, but the girl I was sleeping with, her ass wasn't half as tight as yours." I chuckle to myself. He hasn't seemed to mind my inappropriate comments so far.

He sighs. "Not me… I have awful luck with girls. It's like no matter how hard I try they won't even look at me. I mean, it doesn't matter, but it still sucks, ya know?"

"I don't have luck with girls either, you know."

Kiba reaches out a hand and starts tracing delicate circles across my skin. "I know it's weird to bring this up now and all, but it's just that… being here with you… it makes me think about… I mean, I'm the only one in my family without a mate… even Akamaru has…"

His throat catches. Boy… "By the way, why didn't Akamaru come with you?"

"Akamaru… and his mate… just had their first litter and… he wanted to stay and watch over them…"

That makes sense. "Sounds like he'll be a good dad." He sighs heavily, which for some reason, seems to make my chest feel hollow. "Someday you'll be a good dad, too. I could just see you… running around the backyard, tumbling around with your dogs and a pair of four-year-olds that just completely adore you. Your wife comes to the doorway when dinner's ready, a fairly pretty lady with eyes that shine brightly and hair put up, but otherwise very long. She smiles very warmly and loves absolutely everything about you. I can see it plain as day, Kiba. You worry too much." My eyes focus up at the ceiling.

This ceiling isn't mine. This is a borrowed ceiling. I lay on a borrowed bed, covered with borrowed sheets. None of this is mine… it bothers me, in some minute way.

What am I doing here?

Kiba releases another sigh. "You make it sound so nice… Shikamaru, do your parents… care that you've been single for so long?"

"Yeah, but they pretend they don't. All they've said is that they want me to be dating within the next three years." My head falls to the side. He's smiling.

"You're right. I've got time. Even with mom pushing at me because Hana had her first pup at my age, it doesn't mean I should rush it…"

Borrowed, huh? This isn't a borrowed place, this is a disposable place. Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe it's a little of both. I squeeze my eyes shut.

"Ne, ne… Shika-kun?"

Damn… my stomach feels tight.

"Shika? Are you okay?"

Kiba… "Fine, I was just thinking."

A thin smile spreads across his face. "You shouldn't think so much, it gives you headaches." He taps his temple with two fingers. "We aren't here to think, right?"

My eyes drift back to the ceiling. He's right, I suppose, but something is nagging at me from the back of my mind. Not clear enough to form words, but just enough to make my insides go numb and cold.

…and the tight feeling in my stomach won't go away.

"Shi-ka-ma-ru-kun!" There's a playful tone to his voice as he swings a leg over my hips, effectively straddling me. "Cheer up, won't ya? You're not supposed to be depressed! What happened to blissful and ecstatic Shikamaru? I liked him better." Leaning in, his hands using my chest for support, he gently kisses the corner of my mouth.

But I must admit… as disposable as this place is, and as borrowed as each of these precious moments remains… I haven't been this happy in ages. I slip my hands down his bare back and return his kiss. I don't want this happiness to go away. Not yet.

Kiba… keep that twisting feeling from coming back… just for a while longer.

sxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxk

A/N: There you have it. My first ever attempt at writing a lemon… I'm really, really worried about this chapter, so be gentle. I did my best trying to keep the scene from being either too short or too long… oh, and I also apologize for the whole thrift store scene. It was completely uncalled for.

Once again. Check out the unedited version. If you're mature enough that is. (That's right, I don't believe in age limits. Some 14 year olds are mature, and yet I know other 20 year olds who definitely aren't.)

NEXT TIME:

The human body is made up of many tissues. Each tissue has a different purpose, a different structure, and a different degree of fragility. This is fact, little more.

But facts, unlike tissues, are easily misconceived.


	6. Several Types of Storm

Disclaimer: Since I now own Naruto, I'm gonna put Kiba on a leash evil grin

A/N: Please please **please **tell me if I could do something better! This fic is like my baby right now, and I really don't want it to suck!

Man I'm glad that last chapter is over. It was hard to write, seeing as I haven't written a lemon before, and I guess I fudged it up pretty good, so thanks for sticking through this with me.

And it's come to my attention that some people find my Shika and Kiba OOC. Kiba, maybe a little, but I promise I'll do better with him. Shika, well, LAYERS. He's not JUST lazy. That's only one part of him. I don't like one-sided characters, and even Kishimoto starts to delve into the good parts of his personality. Plus, it's been 5 years, I figure I can take some slight liberties in the types of situations (ahem) Kishimoto won't be writing about. Unless you're writing about Team 7 there's no way to write a severely in depth story about a Naruto character without some people finding them OOC. Just my opinion, anyway. But now that the bedroom scenes are over, Shikamaru will be back to his usual demeanor.

_Sorry for the long A/N, back to the story._

CHAPTER SIX: Several types of storm

I love the feeling of the wind brushing my face in the morning, even if it is hard on the eyes and if I stay in one position too long it feels like my cheek is frozen. There's just something about the way it feels, like it's embracing you and telling you everything is right in the world. It's hard to explain, but I suppose you could say it's a feeling of being complete. It's a feeling that lets me know that doing absolutely nothing is the only way to be truly at peace.

Then again, maybe I'm just lazy.

But so what if I'm lazy. I'm happy this way.

I wrap my arm around Kiba protectively, feeling very pleased and accomplished when he sighs warmly and nuzzles his face deeper into the crook of my neck. To tell the truth, I hadn't expected him to stay the entire night with me. But it feels good. I've never actually woken up beside someone like this before, his legs entangled with mine, his hand linked up and around my neck, that musky smell that's only his permeating into the sheets and pillows… 'she' never stuck around like this.

There's a knock on the door. I can feel Kiba stirring slightly… and I lost my train of thought.

"Shikamaru!" Ino says, still too loud, even through the closed door. "Wake up, you lazy good-for-nothing!"

I don't reply. I mean, why? I roll farther into Kiba, who protests a little at losing his human pillow. Now on his side, he curls into me, the skin to skin contact pretty much absolute. Damn, and he fits so well against me, especially when I hook the ridge of his nose under my chin and I settle a hand on the flat, muscled plane of skin where his ass and hip meet.

"SHIKAMARU! If you're still sleeping, gods help you I'll punch you in the teeth so hard you'll have to shit them out!"

Dammit. "Go away!" I turn my head long enough to spit out my sentence before burying myself in Kiba's neck.

Click.

The doorknob starts turning… shit! I shoot upright, gathering up the sheets that were kicked down to the foot of the bed. There's a thud, and Kiba, he's-

Ino bursts through the door and before I can blink I feel a dull pain to my forehead… a bar of soap? How creative… ergh. And she has quite the accomplished smile pasted on her snide little face. "That's for calling me a heartless harpy last night, Shikamaru."

I rub the assaulted flesh briskly, furrowing my brow irritably in her general direction. "I don't see how that disproves my point."

Of course, she ignores the comment completely. "Anyway, put on some clothes and meet us in the lobby." There's a pause… "Shika-what were you doing in here last night?"

I stare back blankly. "What?"

"Your sheets, it looks like you were fucking a cat or something." What the fuck is she talking about? I look down when she points, finally noticing the slashed up condition of the sheets below me. I'll be damned. I didn't even realize… you'd think I would have felt something like that. "I don't even want to know." She turns, waving as she and Chouji head back down the hall, barely remembering to close my door.

That was kinda close. Shit! Kiba…

My eyes dart over to the spot where Kiba had been laying only minutes ago… "Kiba?"

"Itai…"

I knew he'd freaked out when he heard the door open… apparently he'd taken a pretty violent fall to the floor. "You okay?"

"Yeah, I guess so. 'Something' definitely hurts, I don't think it's from falling, though." He shoots me a lopsided smile and takes my offered hand to help him back onto the bed.

"Hey, I suggested stopping after the third time, you can't blame me."

"Sure I can." Kiba laughs, lightly. "But you can make it up to me by letting me use your shower."

I sigh and smile at him, teasingly. "Troublesome."

I follow him into the bathroom when he tugs on my hand. We'll be lucky if we end up clean at all.

o.o.o.o.oo.

"Oi! Shika-kun, over here!" Don't know why he bothers. Moments later he's come trotting up to me, the infernal nag close at his heels.

"'morning, Chouji, you seem awfully peppy today." I flash him a quick smile. "Something good happen last night?" I nudge him with my elbow, complimenting it with a suggestive wink. He grins brightly. I take that as a yes. Well, that and his blinding afterglow. "Where do you guys want to go for breakfast? My treat."

Chouji can't turn down a free meal and I know it. He slaps me on the back, playfully. "Speakin' of good moods, Shikamaru!"

"Yeah, speaking of good moods…" Ino's voice comes from behind, and suddenly I feel a sharp flick to the side of my neck.

Ouch, fuckin' stings! "Ino! What the fuck?" I quickly grasp my neck.

"Oh-ho… this is classic." I turn to face my assailant, very careful to keep the hint of anger from reaching my features. "Head-in-the-clouds Shikamaru's got a hickey!" shit-I can't even respond. She's practically shouting it to the world… "Oh, look at that!" She gives my collarbone a sharp jab. "There's another one! And another! Someone was really busy last night!" I simply turn away, knowing that saying something would only make it worse. "To be honest, it's about time, Shikamaru… so who was it? Is it someone I know?"

"Damn, Ino. You talk too much." I start walking toward the front door of the hotel, Chouji chuckling only a few steps behind.

"Um, guys?"

My head whips over toward the new voice. Sakura? "Oh, hey."

She smiles, closing her eyes and shrugging innocently. "Did I interrupt something?"

"Nothing important." I purposely add a slight snap to my voice as I nod toward Ino.

"Something wrong, Sakura-chan?" Chouji steps up to my side, oddly enough, putting his snacks in his bag.

She blushes, carefully grasping her hands behind her back. Okay, now I'm curious as to where this is going. "Well, Shika-kun, I-I… I know it's out of the ordinary, but could I tag along with you guys… Naruto-kun and Sasuke-kun had to go back early… and… well…"

Hmm… is this really Sakura? I expected more of an Ino quality in her… she seems more like Hinata right now. "Sure, no problem!" Ino throws a fierce arm around Sakura's neck.

I release a groan. It's not the company I'm complaining about… all I can think about is my coinpurse. I sure hope Chouji and Ino pick someplace cheap. I don't have much money as it is between this vacation and my usual bills. Oh well. Even though I hate doing so, I suppose I could just persuade Tsunade-sama to give me a few more missions. After all, as tough as she tries to be, she's just a grandma at heart.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"_Cheer up, won't ya? You're not supposed to be depressed! What happened to blissful and ecstatic Shikamaru? I liked him better."_

_Damn… I want him… I…_

_He wraps a single slick hand around my shaft… I understand. Words are useless… he leans in to kiss me again. Everything about him is so warm… before I can even sit up straight he's risen up to his knees, positioning himself over me. _

_Using his own hands as guides, Kiba pushes down firmly, the head of my erection sinking into him. I take hold of his hips, supporting his weight as best as I can. _

_After only a moments pause he slams down, completely sheathing me in that very warmth I long for-_

"Shikamaru? You alive in there?" I blink twice and find myself face to face with two blindingly bright baby blues.

"Aa…"

Ino shifts in her seat several times before finally coming to rest. "That's just like you! You know, you should really live out here in the real world once in a while, it's a pretty interesting place."

I wave my hand dismissively, setting uninterested eyes away from her glares. "Is the food here, yet?"

Ino growls, slapping her hands down on the table as she stands. I can practically see the veins popping from her forehead. "Sakura! I have to go to the bathroom, NOW!" Sakura glances back at her friend, a very innocent look on her face for a moment, as if taken by surprise. "SAKURA!"

"Geez, Ino! You can't just order me around whenever you feel like it!" Sakura immediately rises to her feet, trailing after Ino as though attached by a string. Their nonsensical arguing continues for a short while, probably until they make it to the bathroom to do whatever it is girls do in there. They sure are loud, sometimes. It makes it kinda hard to tune them out.

I let out a hard sigh and rest my chin on the palm of my hand. "I don't understand those two. Or any women, for that fact. They're all fuckin' insane."

"Well…" When my gaze finally meets my friend I find his eyes darting around nervously, for whatever reason. "Did you ever think that maybe, if you just talked a little more they wouldn't think you're so weird?"

Yeah, but like I care. "How troublesome. If they don't like me, it's not my problem. I don't see why it matters." I shift my eyes in Chouji's direction. "I shouldn't have to change myself for them."

"I guess you're right, Shikamaru-kun." Chouji sighs deeply, twisting his chopsticks absently in his hand. "After all, you were with someone last night. I'm not going to prod too much, but… what's it like… with a guy?"

Okay. Now he has my attention. I'm not sure what he's getting at… "Uh… what?"

"I dunno. It's the look in your eyes, I guess… not to mention the fact you're completely ignoring Ino-chan and Sakura-chan…" He looks nervous. I guess this whole conversation is awkward to him, no matter how curious he is. I suppose I understand. Chouji's not into guys, after all. "If you don't want to talk about it, I'm not gonna prod, like I said."

"It's all right, Chouji. I know you're not gonna tell everyone. Besides, it didn't mean anything to either of us. He was curious, I was willing, that's all there is to it. We went at it, shook hands and parted ways this morning."

"This morning?" He blinks twice. That's right, he was with Ino this morning when she busted me in the face with that bar of soap. "You-"

"He fell off the bed."

"He… fell off the bed?"

I wave casually at the comment. "Ino scared him shitless just ambushing us like that. It's a lucky thing, too. I'd never hear the end of it if she found out."

Wide eyes. Chouji simply stares at me, taking in the information and carefully processing every word. "How… was it?"

And, well… does he really want to know? We do tell each other everything, I suppose it's just one of those things. "It was enough to snap me out of the bad mood I was in yesterday." His eyes are simply locked on my face. There's no judgment there. In fact, his eyes push toward me, urging me to continue. But what to say? "So, yeah. It was good."

"What did he look like?"

A let out a breath to suppress a chuckle. "I can't really go into detail, but I can let you know he was a very good looking guy. Masculine, but pretty at the same time. Very expressive eyes… the most perfectly toned body I've ever seen. And, my god his stomach… it's hard to believe he was a virgin, but I could tell once I-ah…" Chouji's stopped fiddling with his chopsticks. "Hah. That was a blatantly fanboyish description, no?"

"A little up until the end… So… was it just a one night stand kind of thing?"

"_Shika-kun?" The water dripping from his hair looks like glass… I drape my equally wet arms around him, slowly, carefully. This can break. This is fragile… my face buries itself in the warm crevasse between his shoulder blades. He laughs lightly. "Shika-kun, you can let go, you know. I'm not gonna fall apart or anything."_

_No, you wouldn't, would you? "You don't like this?"_

_I can't see his face. I want to. "It's not that, it's just that… I don't want to-"_

"_Don't want to what?"_

_He pulls away. The warmth disappears and my skin feels cold. "We're friends, Shika-kun. Don't take this personally, but… I don't want this… to ruin that."_

"_I know, Kiba… but right now, I need this." I bite my tongue. "As soon as we pass through that door, that's all… I just want you to know, I had fun. You're a quick learner and you'll have no problem finding a loved one out there."_

_Another laugh. "Behind closed doors you're a teddy-bear, Shikamaru. I wonder what everybody else would say if they saw this side of you? Or that kinky side I didn't know you had. I bet even the Third would be rolling in his grave. Teddy-bear-Shishi-chan. Catchy, ne?"_

_Gah. "Thanks. I think my cock just shrunk a good three inches."_

"_Hah! That makes me bigger than you, now!" He leans back against my shoulder, sporting that ever-charming cocky grin of his._

_I risk a smile. "Yeah, well, we should get going, soon, I have a breakfast date to keep with Chouji and Ino. We've been up here way too long, anyway."_

_He sighs. "Yeah…" he starts to rise up, but instead of taking to his feet he simply spins around to face me, his head tilting downward. I don't know what that expression means, Kiba. Don't look at me in a way I can't read. "Sometime… we should do this again… if we get bored or whatever."_

"Well, it might eventually be a two nighter, but yeah, I suppose you could say that. It's healthy to have a fling or two, ne?"

"Yeah. Not that I'd know."

But I thought… "You were with someone last night?"

"Yeah. I said I didn't know anything about _flings_." Oh…

"Well then, if it's a serious thing, who's the lucky girl?" I raise one eyebrow suggestively, returning my chin to it's post on the palm of my hand.

Chouji smiles widely, grinning nearly from ear to ear. "Ino."

"Ino? Really? Good for you! It's about time the two of you hooked up. I've been expecting it forever. Since we were, I dunno, twelve?"

"I liked her back then, but-I thought she was gonna end up with you."

You've gotta be kidding. That harpy? "Naw, she reminds me too much of my mother. I'd rather not bang a chick that reminds me of mom. It just seems creepy to me."

"Anyway, speaking of banging, did you catch a name, Shika-kun?" He smiles, a genuine smile that calms my nerves a little.

Oh yes. He has a name all right. "I'm itching to tell you, but I promised I wouldn't-"

"-because she's embarrassed by you, huh?" Dammit. They're back. And smeared across that snide face is a grin I wish I could just wipe off. "Then again, it probably isn't even a girl… since you up and kissed Kiba last night."

I shift my head so my ear settles onto my hand. "Gods, Ino. Are you STILL talking?"

Ino pauses momentarily, looking up at the ceiling as if attempting to catch a thought. "Speaking of Kiba… I heard through the grapevine that Shino's gonna make his move today."

I roll my eyes. "Can't you keep out of ANYBODY'S business?"

"No, I can't. You got a problem with that?"

"Yeah, I do."

"Well, that's just too bad." She smiles, almost taunting me to continue the argument further. I hate it when she does that. It's so… so… troublesome.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Five minutes later, it started to rain.

It rained all through our meal. We waited longer than we should have, hoping the rain would stop. The rain isn't going to stop. It's only gotten worse. Chouji and Ino went off on their own, deciding that a little rain wouldn't stop them from getting back to the hotel on time. I, however, made the mistake of trying to wait out the storm.

Now the rain looks like it would pelt your back with marbles, not to mention the wind, howling and whistling between who knows what, eradicating the silence with eerily hypnotizing music that shrouds the world between the raindrops with mist. The world seems a graveyard. A sad place where there is no rest to be had, nothing to cling to. It's beautiful in a way. So solitary that I feel like an intruder with every step. Like… maybe I'm the only person in the world who appreciates this…

I don't know. Maybe it's just that I'm a sucker for scenery.

…Maybe I don't hate the rain after all.

_Kiba runs his fingers through my hair gently, carefully rinsing away any lingering remnants of shampoo…and… I can't help but collapse back into him, feeling an odd sense of comfort and protection between his arms. I'm so used to holding on… being held feels so much different. So alien. It almost scares me. But he's taller than me… it only makes sense that he should hold me when we stand._

_As Kiba wraps his strong arms around my waist I just want to run away… or cry… or maybe just turn into him and accept everything… I don't really know which. _

_Men aren't supposed to feel any of these things, are they?_

_He whispers my name quietly, gently rubbing the tip of his nose behind my ear. I don't know what I'm supposed to do. Should I say something? Do something? Just stand here… _

_I don't know if I can move. I really don't… _

_I don't know if I want to…_

"_Shikamaru-kun…"_

_I feel a brief chill the instant my body moves away from the flow of the showerhead, pushed forward up against the cold hard tile surface of the wall. We stand there for a moment, neither one of us moving, myself barely breathing… his hand reaches forward, stroking against the skin of my inner thigh. This is strange to me… I don't know what to do but to lean back into his kisses, accept the warmth he offers…_

_Even if I don't understand._

_I feel a mildly familiar trailing down my lower back, the very end digit of a finger running down between mounds of flesh before settling somewhere that only myself and one other person has ever dared venture._

_He meets no resistance as his finger pushes through. I know better than that. I press my cheek against the tiled wall, regulate my breathing, and close my eyes. This part is okay. There's nothing strange about this sensation, and I feel myself calming very quickly. _

_I don't know how strange it must seem that this feels normal while even the simple action of being held in another's arms scares me to the point I can hardly breathe. _

"_Ah… Kiba…" I speak without thought, letting everything but the sensation go numb… _

_And suddenly, without any warning, he pulls away._

"_I… I can't do it, Shika… I just can't… I want to so bad… but…" I turn back towards him, momentarily oblivious of the confused look on my face. He has a defeated smile on his lips, eyes furrowed in apology. "It's not you, I want to… it's just… the way you look when you say my name like that… I know that if I do this I'll end up addicted to you… and I can't do that."_

_I let my head fall back, thousands of tiny water droplets assaulting my cheeks and closed eyes. "Mm, makes sense."_

Makes perfect sense. I flick my cigarette butt out the door, watching the tiny spark disappear from existence. And so all the light in the universe is that much dimmer. "Sakura… I'm tired of watching the rain."

Sakura turns toward me, sluggishly, moving as though awakened from a shallow sleep. Her half lidded eyes suggest the same. "Hmm? Already?"

"Let's get back to the hotel." I rise to my feet without hesitation, making sure to set my eyes toward Sakura indifferently. I stand motionless for a moment or two, releasing an exaggerated sigh to declare my impatience. "Sakura?"

"It looks cold."

I sigh and put the heel of my hand on my temple. I'm not irritated or anything, but seriously, I'd rather we just go. Why do girls always insist on talking? "It is cold. It's been raining for a while, as I'm sure you noticed. But that's exactly why we should get back to the hotel as soon as possible."

She smiles, almost nervously, a faint strain evident in the crease of her brow. "You're right. Let's go."

I don't freakin' understand women. I've said it a hundred times, and I'm sure I'll say it a hundred more.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Of course, the rain is unpleasant. I must have been crazy thinking like I was before, about it being nice, or beautiful or whatever. This sucks. It's cold, my clothes are wet and I feel like a drowned rat.

After walking for nearly twenty minutes, Sakura and I clamor towards a tree with a bit of dry ground beneath, hoping-just hoping that we can get away from the wind as well. It's a long shot, I know, but anything has to be better than this.

If I haven't caught cold by the end of this trip, gods help me I must be impervious to all harm.

"Even if it is kinda cold… the rain looks nice, doesn't it?" Sakura glances toward me, her eyes shifting even as her body remains still. "I mean, it looks peaceful, don't you think?"

Ignoring my mind's outcry for protest, I nod lightly. "Yeah. Peace is a fragile thing. That's what makes it beautiful."

I can feel her chakra warm beside me. "You say that so well."

"Yeah, whatever." My eyes close with a sigh and I lean back against the tree. My skin feels so cold and all the hairs on my arms are on end… but somehow, it still feels good. Not to mention how relaxing the smell of rain seems to be, mixed with its rhythmic sound that varies in pitch depending on what it hits.

This is so much different from last night, even though in ways it's eerily alike. When we make it back to the hotel, I'll-

What the hell is this warmth?

Shit… Sakura's hands are on my chest, and I don't even have a moment to react before her lips are on mine. This isn't right. In fact this is wrong. Terribly wrong! When I regain my own string of thoughts I give her a firm but nonviolent push, holding her shoulders an arms length from my body. "What are you doing?"

The pink haired nin stares back at me blankly, for a moment, big doe eyes focusing directly toward me. If she's at a loss for words, she best find them because if that's the case I'm not going to stick around. In fact, I might even start running-there's this big nasty ball in my gut that's telling me if I don't get out of here soon I might start vomiting.

"Shi-shikamaru… why?"

"This is wrong!"

"Do I disgust you or something?" Her eyes have turned pleading. Why this? Why now?

"No, Sakura! That's not it!"

"Please, then. Please, don't say things like that. I'm so sick of all this and I want you to just… just stay with me for a little while. Even if you can't do it in public, or if you just stay with me until you find someone else, please!"

She's sobbing… oh fuck… I can't do this.

"Look, Sakura. You don't want someone like me, I'd be a terrible boyfriend, I can assure you of that. I'm not the kind of guy who's gonna go dancing, or take you out to dinner, or buy you nice things for no particular reason. You know me, Sakura."

Sakura pushes my hand away from her shoulder, not wanting to look me in the eyes. "I want to go out with you, even if it's only once or twice! I don't care if you call yourself lazy or whatever, because I know you're not!"

"I am! You need to see what I'm trying to say, here! I have my reasons, and I'm not going to love you! You should be with someone who loves you, Sakura! You deserve that. Go ask out someone like Lee! Hell, he's twice the man I am." I pause, regrouping my senses. "He can make you happy, Sakura. He can do for you what I can't. He can make you happy, and he can love you."

"Why won't you give me a chance, Shikamaru! What's wrong with me?" her eyes clench shut. Don't cry again, gods don't cry.

I shut one eye and turn my head. "Sakura, I'm not going to go out with you. I'm not going to stab my friend in the back like that."

"Y-your friend?"

I turn to look at her. Her eyes have cleared. Good. "Yeah, I told you before. I'm not trying to hurt you, I just don't understand why you and Lee aren't together by now. He's loved you the whole time." I pause. Anything to clear this awful knot in my stomach... "You shouldn't be alone Sakura… you shouldn't be alone when, waiting for you all along… was someone who truly cherishes you. Someone who lives for you and you alone, someone who would gladly die for you…" A shock erupts through my body. It almost makes me want to smile-In some sick sadistic sort of way.

"Shikamaru…" She steps toward me, slowly, her eyes soaked in sorrow. "I'm sorry-I-I didn't know…" Her hand comes from nowhere, softly touching my cheek. "I understand now. I never knew you felt this way... I...Shikamaru-kun, I didn't know you felt so alone."

What does she mean by that? I don't understand! I don't understand a single bit of this! Sure, my chest feels tight, but it doesn't hurt. It doesn't mean I'm alone! I have friends, family, people who care for me! I don't understand at all!

"Don't worry, Shikamaru-kun. I know you really do have best wishes for me. And you're right. I should be with Lee." She takes a deep breath and looks directly into my face with sympathetic eyes. "But… know that I have the same wish for you. You too deserve happiness, we all do. But… but it saddens me to see that in here-" Her finger rests on the wet fabric fold in the center of my chest. "-you truly believe that happiness will never come. I didn't see it before, but your eyes… are so empty when you look at me."

Turning quickly, Sakura walks back into the rain, her pace quick and assured. I still don't understand how it is… that women seem to know me better than I do.

sxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxk

A/N: Eheheheh…whoops, got a little out of hand with those flashbacks, not to mention the unexpected sap scene with Sakura(maybe laid it on a little too thick, ne?)… therefore making this… the longest chapter yet! (I think...) And possibly the suckiest chapter yet. Not to mention a little angsty at the end... sorry, just a little depressed, probably why the second half of this chapter is more like a feel-sorry-for-myself-athon.

But, I've been watching through the Naruto anime again, and the whole Sakura thing is eerily similar to her conversation with Sasuke the night he leaves the village. I didn't mean to do that, but at least that means my Sakura isn't way too OOC.

Don't forget to review so I won't suck as bad next time.

NEXT TIME:

Every gardener knows that when growing roses, smaller buds and flowers are cut away so the existing blooms will grow to be larger and more beautiful. A person who lives life, though they do not know it, does the same. But what happens when instead of cutting the bud the bloom is cut by accident? Must the gardener then cut away the bud and be left with nothing? Or must he simply wait, hoping with no guarantee that the bud will bloom to be more beautiful than the rose…


	7. Yellow Roses

Disclaimer: I don't need no stinkin' disclaimer!

A/N:I'm not in my happy place. Fortunately I finished writing this chapter before everything came crashing down.

ANYWAY I've got some more storyline in my head, but if you have any ideas, right now is the perfect time to pitch them. Feel free.

CHAPTER SEVEN: Yellow Roses?

In a few seconds, this will all be over.

I have to keep thinking that. I have to keep myself sane for just a little while longer. Because if I don't… I'm going to realize how stupid this whole thing is, and I'm going to bash my skull against the table until I die from internal hemorrhaging.

"Tsumu."

"I call a rematch!" Neji pounds one fist on the table violently, rattling the remaining pieces from the board.

"I'm tired. Let's do something else, ne?" I rest my cheek on the heel of my hand.

"I said rematch!" Geniuses piss me off. They always think that if they don't win a game of Shogi it's the end of the world. Besides, it's been four games and he still hasn't even gotten close… I don't understand him.

I push out a sigh. "How troublesome." My arm drops to the table, closely followed by the side of my face, hiding my eyes from the persistent fem boy across the way.

"Neji-i… it's been ten minutes, can't you guys play Shogi some other time? They're waiting for us." Tenten stands from her seat at the stairs, moving just close enough to give Neji's clothes a good hard tug.

Neji narrows his brow, eyes full of hardened determination… or whatever. His hands move quickly, gathering the pieces and repositioning them in their respective places. "No way. Not until I beat him. Even if it takes all day."

"I'm not gonna play you all day." I stand up lazily, heading toward Tenten's position at the stairs. "Go practice your taijutsu or genjutsu or whatever it is that makes you happy. I'm going with her."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

The lobby is a loud place. Even with Naruto gone, the chattering is almost deafening, especially since Ino and Chouji's hookup caused quite an uproar in the female division of the group. Right now they're hitting up all the details, oblivious that none of us male folk really want to hear about the goings on in certain unnamable bathtubs with certain unnamable foods…

And people say us guys are the dirty ones.

The rest of us, excluding Chouji, who's blushing in the middle of it, are quite silent. It's not like we can really discuss much else hearing what we're hearing… I mean the imagery gets in your head in the most disturbing ways and completely makes you forget everything it was you were going to say. Even Lee is speechless. He tried to say something about, I can't remember, his training maybe? But next thing you know there's this whole thing about chocolate syrup on someone's nipples and well, as you can imagine… he shut right up.

Ino's been urging us to join in on the conversation for a while now. But myself, along with most of the others, I'm sure, are scared witless of the conversation and wouldn't poke it with a ten foot pole. That is, until Kiba and Shino are yanked up in the least gentle manner possible and thrown into the madness…

"They're dead meat…" Neji whispers, his gaze uncharacteristically sympathetic.

The two are shoved this way and that for a few moments before finally ending in a nearly forced kiss, Shino, of course, taking initiative. A few of the girls are squealing with delight at the end, as girls tend to do after this sort of thing. Neji, on the other hand, turns away. I wasn't aware that Neji was a homophobe, but stranger things have happened.

"How sweet!" Ino purrs, giving the couple a firm hug from behind.

On the contrary. All this uber-feminine matchmaking bullshit is making me feel sick to my stomach. Next thing you know they're gonna try stringing me and Neji together, and we all know how that'll end. There will be fireworks, but no happy celebration, I can assure you.

Much to my surprise, the girly conversation dulls after that, and only moments later, it's safe to regroup.

Shino and Kiba, however, have moved to the opposite corner of the lobby. Apparently to discuss something. Whatever it is, it's none of my business.

"There's only one more thing that's bothering me." Ino smiles wickedly, eyes suddenly locking in my direction. "Who in the world gave Shikamaru all those hideous hickeys? Unless he's discovered some sort of creepy jutsu that lets him pop of his head, he didn't give those things to himself."

Dammit I wish I'd looked in the mirror this morning… or at least that Kiba had said something. Hell, he probably thought it was funny. Just like that bite mark he left on my shoulder. I had to have him bandage that damn thing.

He blamed in on his 'canine-like instincts'… so I just called him a bitch.

My eyes wander away from my assailant, momentarily, landing unconsciously on the pair of men standing across the room. Shino seems almost angry about something, I dare not guess what. Kiba appears to be arguing back, and there is little space between the two of them. I'm slightly curious, to tell the truth. Shino reaches to take Kiba into an embrace, but Kiba seems hesitant, and pulls back, turning away quickly like a wounded animal. The stray hand slides, and instead of his arm, Shino gets a handful of a little something else… this is bad.

"ITAI!"

Every set of eyes in the room snaps toward Kiba and Shino. Kiba's eyes are wide, half glassed over and looking much like a startled deer. Shino hasn't seemed to notice… or maybe he just doesn't care.

"What the hell! How could you?"

Kiba's body starts shaking terribly, his eyes refocusing on the man before him. "What's it of your business if I want to go out and get fucked, huh? We're not dating, Shino, so you have no say in who I fucking sleep with!"

I've never seen Shino's face such a shade of red. The taller man grabs hold of Kiba's collar, trying so hard to keep in control. Ack. What a horrible display of testosterone clashing with emotions. So wrong in so many ways… "Why would you let someone take your virginity just for the hell of it? Who was it? Tell me!"

"I did tell you! It's none-of-your-fuck-ing-business, Shino!" Holy shit. If this gets out of the closet, I'm screwed beyond words. Shino looks like he could take down the legendary sennin single-handedly, and then still kick my sorry ass. "But I'll give you a hint, Aburame, he's a way better kisser than you'll ever be… oh yeah, and he's-"

"What are you saying, Kiba? You saying you love this guy?" Shino's eyes take on a deadly glare, enough to make anybody's skin crawl.

Kiba stops, staring at the black haired nin for a long moment, eyes wide as though his mind had gone blank. "Wh-what if-what if I do? And I'm not saying I do, but-but it's none of your damned business whether I like him or not!"

Wh-what? No way. Wrong. No. Kiba… shut up before you get yourself in trouble.

My feet move on their own accord, quickly removing me from the scene. "This isn't my place." I mutter, loud enough for those standing beside me to hear. This isn't my place. No, my place is far away from here. I refuse to get caught up in this. I absolutely refuse!

It's still raining, though I only vaguely noticed… not as hard, though. I instinctively fish my pack of cigarettes from my pocket and stick one in my mouth. But the damn thing won't fucking light. Before I know what I've done I chuck the small metal object like a shuriken. The lighter bounces from a tree some ten feet away right into the downpour on the street. Fuck it. I didn't need my lighter anyway. I don't need a smoke, and I sure as hell don't need to fucking calm down! I shove the pack of cigarettes back in my pocket, gritting my teeth slightly when I feel the top of the pack crush underneath my hand.

My feet carry me through the street very quickly, and often I find myself grimacing as puddles of rainwater are splashed up onto my partially exposed legs and mud squishes between my toes, effectively ruining my new sandals. It's funny that only a day ago that would have actually concerned me a little.

My eyes stay fixated on the ground. I have no idea where I am. Not that it really matters.

"Shikamaru! Wait!" A feminine voice I've heard over a million times seems to call to me over the crowds of people. I stop, though I don't think I quite have it in me to turn and greet her. It seems to matter little.

Ino grabs hold of my arm securely, as if she just expects me to take off running or something. No. I won't do that… I lift my head a little, staring out straight ahead instead of at the ground beneath me. I might just look a little less pathetic this way. The last thing I need is for her to be sorry for me. After all, I don't think it's very Shikamaru-like to get bothered by something as simple as a few meaningless words. Heh. I'm supposed to just sigh and call it troublesome, right?

"Come on, Shika-kun, let's get you out of the rain before you catch cold." She tugs gently on my arm, leading me over to the covered booths on the main part of the strip. She gently urges toward some kind of food stand or another, basically the first place she can find with seats. I don't bother pulling away from her or verbally protesting. I don't know. I don't think it's in me right now.

"Hey there, you two. Anything I can get ya?" The shopkeeper smiles warmly, wiping clean a bowl with a simple white dishrag.

Ino smiles back, pulling her coinpurse from her side. "Whatever your house tea is, please."

I feel eyes on me suddenly. When I glance up I find it's just the man across the bar, and though I'm not really in the mood for anything, I suppose I should say something… "Oh, um… green tea. Plain."

The man walks away quickly, disappearing behind a tan colored sheet that I can only assume leads to the kitchen.

"I get it, you know."

"Get what?" I don't bother looking at her.

"Don't play dumb, Shikamaru. I kind of figured out you were with Kiba last night." She smiles, though without vicious intent. That's unusual for her. "I'm not stupid like you might think."

"I never called you stupid. Infantile and nagging, maybe."

"I'll pretend you didn't just say that, okay? You can talk to me, you know. I don't blurt out everything I hear." She turns, taking the tea offered to her. "Thank you."

I shake my head. This is going nowhere. "I've yet to see proof of that."

"Yeah?" She turns toward me again, more of an evil smirk crossing her lips than before. "I knew about you and Temari. I suppose you two never officially _dated_ or anything, but…"

She-knew that? "What?"

"Oh, don't worry, she gave it away a lot more than you did. Always being so flirty around you." Her smile suddenly fades to a frown. "But for some reason...I'm glad you aren't with her anymore."

"Gimme a break, Ino. That's ancient history." I turn my eyes toward my tea, staring absently at the remnants swirling at the bottom, lazily. "Kids do shit like that. It's nothing unusual."

"I know. Remember my crush on Sasuke? That was childish if there was ever childish. I didn't realize it… until he left. But sometimes it takes that kind of thing to make you see clearly." She sighs deeply. I hate this depressing shit. It bothers me. "But I'm better now, and old enough to really know what I need. Even after he came back… it just wasn't the same. I learned that you can't have flowers without butterflies, you know?"

"What's the point, Ino?"

"How much do you know about flowers, Shika-kun?" Ino places a few coins on the bar, turning her stool her arm rests lazily on the wood beside her.

"Only what I've caught from your ramblings over the years." And truthfully, that's not much. I don't listen often.

Ino laughs, taking hold of my arm, gently. "Come on, let's go to the flowershop."

"Why?"

"To buy flowers, silly."

I don't like where this is going. I seriously don't.

"Oh…" I turn my head toward my friend slowly when she calls, an irritated grimace on my features. "By the way, did you hear about Temari? She's seeing somebody now, like officially…"

"That's good." I step past my friend. Unlike a certain someone, I feel other people's business is really none of mine.

Ino trots up to me, grabbing hold of my arm in the process. "But the real juicy part is… she's seeing a girl. Can you believe that? I mean I always thought she was kind of tomboyish but…"

Blah, blah, blah… I have a feeling my ears are going to be ringing all night from this…

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

The smell of flowers is pungent, so strong that sometimes it makes me want to gag. And not only that, it seems all flower shops smell pretty much the same. Same as the Yamanaka shop in Konoha…

"Why are we buying flowers, Ino?"

"That's simple." She turns gracefully, smiling innocently with hands tucked behind her back. "To see how you really feel about Kiba."

"Troublesome." I cover my eye with my hand. "Isn't it obvious?"

"Not really." With a single foot she turns back toward the flowers, carefully inspecting them. "It's true that you freaked out back there about what he said, but you've been so deep in thought lately. I mean, you've been even more detached than usual."

"So all I have to do is pick a flower?" I set a hand on my hip.

"Not just any flower. Pick the one that reminds you of Kiba, buy it and give it to him."

"This all sounds pretty girly. Just 'cause I like guys doesn't mean I'm some kind of pansy ass feminine uke bitch(). Thank you very much."

She turns again, this time her face wearing a slightly irritated look. "It's symbolism, _thank you very much_. And besides, he knows you're friends with me, it shouldn't come as a surprise."

"But as if he'll know the stupid symbolism behind some flower, Ino."

"I'll make sure he knows." I can feel her smiling again. It sends a shiver down my spine. "I'm pretty crafty you know. After all, you don't hang around a genius every day without catching onto strategy just a little. Now get going! I shouldn't have to kick you in the ass to make you do _everything_…"

o.o.o..o.o.o.o.

What has Ino said about flowers? She talks so much, I really don't remember…

I pace back and forth for a few minutes, wondering why in the nine hells I'm taking this seriously. Especially coming from someone like Ino. But flowers are just flowers, right? So what am I supposed to do? Pick something simple like a rose? I don't know… she said to pick something that reminds me of Kiba… so I guess something too fancy looking is really out of the question. Maybe something amber or gold… nothing with too large a bloom… something that looks fairly wild. My eyes stop. Yes. That kind of flower. I lean in, carefully lifting the tag at the flower's base. Ambrosia, huh? I wonder what this guy means?

Flipping over the tag, I'm quite surprised to see the answer right in front of my eyes…

Hmm… maybe not that one.

Yellow roses… I recall Ino mentioning those, once. I pick up the flower carefully, and instantly feel the pit of my stomach drop. I suppose, this one is exactly what I'm looking for.

"Here. This one." Ino turns toward me, curiously, an awkward look in her eye as I hold up said flower.

"This one?" She raises an eyebrow, looking me up and down. "You sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Maybe this whole time I was wrong… maybe I would have been better off going to those boring-ass meetings.

It's not like I knew any of this would happen. I'm not psychic… but dammit, that doesn't even seem like a good excuse. It's still my fault. My fault I decided to have friends and sleep with Kiba. Nothing can ever be all in good fun. Not around here.

After leaving the flowershop, we all but run headfirst into Kiba. Maybe if any of us had been looking where we were going I wouldn't mean that so literally.

I've never, ever seen Kiba's eyes that wide before.

At least we don't have to look for him… I suppose.

"Kiba, what a coincidence."

"Yeah… well, I saw you ran off this way, so I went to find you…" I can't help but notice the change in the color of his face, though his expression gives away nothing. "Hey, Shika, about what I said in there, I didn't mean that, just so you know. I was just trying to piss off Shino and… damn, I know how it must have sounded."

My expression doesn't falter for a second. "You freaked the shit out of me."

"I know, and I'm sorry, 'kay?" He smiles, scratching away at his cheek.

"No hard feelings." I sigh, deeply… that's right. This dumb thing in my hand was supposed to be for him. "Here."

Questioning eyes probe my actions for a moment. I guess it must seem pretty strange. Especially for me. He reaches out cautiously, taking the stem of the rose between slim fingers. His eyes instantly lock on the flower, obviously dumbfounded. I can't say I blame him. I feel as stupid giving him the damn thing as he looks taking it. I'm sure Ino's grinning like a madwoman from somewhere behind me, and gods know I'll be hearing about this one for an eternity.

"Uh, thanks?"

"Yeah…" Fuck. Smooth as butter, Shikamaru… I turn my head away quickly. I hate this. Things aren't supposed to be fucking weird.

And this silence is brutal.

"Shikamaru?" I let my eyes wander back toward my companion, even if it's probably not a good idea. "It's not okay, is it?"

"What?"

"Well, even after everything I've said here, I hate seeing you upset like this and I know it's not okay now, but... I want to kiss you." A slim forefinger and the base of a hand brushes across my cheek. Ino must be loving this… me… I don't know… I feel… conflicted. "I don't know, maybe it's really just because this might be the last time… I can ever kiss you…"

I laugh, not necessarily meaning for a sarcastic tone to peek through. "You act like one of us is going away and never coming back…" I divert my eyes instantly. God, if this is like one of Ino's sappy movies and his eyes lock into mine and tell me my speculation was right, I think I just might snap.

"No, not like that!" He returns my sarcastic laugh, pulling my shoulder into him the way Chouji and I sometimes pull each other before once again falling somberly quiet. "Well… it's just that after you left I evened things out with Shino. He asked me to go out with him and I well, accepted."

I pull half a smile onto my lips, but still refuse to make eye contact. "I told you you'd have no problem finding a loved one."

The laugh he releases now is fairly lighthearted. His hands settle on my hips and pull me close enough so I can feel his breath on the side of my face, even though we aren't quite touching. "I just said I'd go out on a date with him, anyway! It's not love yet, that doesn't just happen right out of the blue you know."

"He's been in love with you forever, I know you'll be fine." I finally gather the courage to look Kiba in the face. He looks completely unphased. "That's more than I can say for myself. The way I've been fucking things up I don't expect to start dating for a good five to ten years, despite what my parents are expecting… not that I'm complaining. Sure, it'll earn me an earful, but like I'll listen anyway-"

"Don't say that."

My eyes snap back toward my friend. What does he mean by that? "Don't say what?"

"You know. Don't say it." He's very serious about this… his voice has gotten very curt, his brow straining with an emotion very visibly similar to anger. And the worst thing of all is… I can't say anything. I don't know what he wants from me… I…

His arms wrap tightly around me, engulfing me in a pressure that's almost too much to handle. It's hard to breathe… "Ki-kiba…un…" He loosens his hold considerably after my protest, even lifting up one hand to brush away a few locks of my hair that somehow ended up falling in front of my face.

His smile is warm, now. Warm and comforting. I still don't understand… and I hate it. One minute he seems like he's ready to hit me, and now? I don't know how to analyze this anymore than I have…

Still trapped in his arms, Kiba's lips lower towards mine, and there's really not much I can do. I can't move my arms… or much else, really. Not that I'd resist him anyway… and his lips, they're warm, just like I remember. And still inexperienced. I smile faintly at the thought, carefully taking hold of his hips, which I now realize, are almost as slender as mine. But not quite… and the thin, sinewy muscles stretched over them are so unbelievably subtle through his clothes.

If I'm not careful, I could get swallowed up by this. But why the hell should I care? Why should I hold myself back when this is the last time we'll hold each other like this, the last time we kiss… it's like some corny fucking goodbye, but… I don't know… I guess it's not my problem.

Maybe I want to get swallowed up in this.

I push my tongue through his lips very gently, peeking my tongue past his teeth just far enough to catch a little taste. I want to bury my tongue in his warmth, running my tongue across the roof of his mouth with just the right touch to make his entire body tingle. I don't know what's stopping me… but Kiba responds to me very well, angling his head to the side ever so slightly, lancing the underside of my tongue with his own. That's the passion I crave… our tongues tangle within each other mercilessly, a sensual game of tug o war that both men refuse to forfeit. I attack his lips greedily, biting down just the way I know he likes it… suckling the corner of his lower lip until it comes back swollen and he fumbles absently to return to his senses. My eyes are growing hazy… I have to stop… or I'll end up stripping him down and fucking him right in the middle of the street…

The street… that's fucking right…

Every pair of eyes within visibility are staring directly at us, a few looking away abruptly at my gaze, others blatantly gawking. If I'd been thinking straight, I would have realized how inappropriate I was acting and gone elsewhere… but… I kissed him. In broad daylight on the market street.

"What are you looking at?" Ino nearly screams… bouncing up between us, though our arms still remain linked.

Shit… I unhook myself from my friend, turning away to stare holes into the ground. "Shikama…ru-kun…" Damn.

"My god!" Ino links an arm around my neck, tightly, pulling the two of us against her as close as she can without choking either of us to death. I don't know… it would almost be welcome. "That was hot! I mean, I knew it would be, but damn! You really took that one home, Shika-kun!"

"Did I?" I pull myself from her grip, coldly. "Fucking troublesome…" I hold my ground, firmly, trying to detach my throat from my brain. "Fucking… fucking… troublesome." No good. I don't understand. I can't voice the words… all that comes out… I turn on my heels, abruptly squaring my shoulders and forcing my feet to move.

That's it… I have to go home, now. I can't take this place anymore. I need to pack up my duffel bag, take a good long swig of sake, and get the hell out of this place… this place is doing things to me and I really don't like it.

"Shikamaru!" I stop dead in my tracks… Kiba? No? Maybe… I turn on my heels, maybe looking back a little more enthusiastically than I should have.

No, not Kiba… weaving like a shapeless visage pulling from the crowd, Shino steps up to me, a determined gleam in his eye. I can do nothing but watch as he approaches.

Wh-what did he see?

The instant his eyes lock on mine, despite the eternally round sunglasses, I know exactly what's going on. I can't hide anything, anymore. Not from a jounin like him. I know that. I can't... I can't control my eyes. My throat burns, and my chakra is swelling in this weird way that I can't comprehend or suppress. I... I don't know.

"Shi-no..." I try to push some false confidence in my voice, but I can't stop it, it cracks right at the crucial point. No, no turning back.

Face to face with the devil himself, even a god would shudder in fear...

And I am no god.

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()DISCLAIMER 2: Shikamaru has nothing against effeminate gays, ukes, or even the prospect of being uke. In other words, he's saying (harshly) that not all gays are effeminate. That is all.

A/N: Errm… okay, bad ending, bad ending, I know… but I really had to break it off here, otherwise the next chapter would be way too short, and well… I don't want that to happen. So I leave you with a lame ass excuse for a cliffhanger… and cookies.

By the way, Chouji's name means 'butterfly.' Hence Ino's corny little analogy.

Also, for those of you who don't know much about flowers, yellow roses are a symbol of friendship. As for the ambrosia, well... if you're that bent on knowing you can look it up yourself. Heheh... I'm evil.

NEXT TIME:

It is very cliché to say that emotions come in waves, buckling and eddying with the currents in ways that seem random, and yet have a beautifully choreographed system, in all reality.

But the cliché does not end there.

In a wave of new emotions, it is easy to be swept out into the ocean. And sometimes, when the currents tug hard enough, it's almost impossible not to be…


	8. Tidal Waves

Disclaimer: Children under the age of four shouldn't smoke.

A/N: Shikamaru's learned a lot of new jutsus. So says I. So it shall be. I mean why not? He can't just learn nothing in all those years.

CHAPTER EIGHT: Tidal Waves

I can't! I can't say a fucking word!

Face to face with this man my voice abandons me, threatening to never return. It's very hard to look into his eyes without shaking in fear. This man who loves Kiba. This man who has nothing to lose, nothing to gain. My feet are cemented to the spot… and as hard as it is to look into his eyes, I just can't… can't look away.

We are very different, me and him… I-I'm such a fucking coward…

"I could kill you for this, Nara Shikamaru!" A growl emanates from somewhere deep within Shino's throat, a sound that would rip through his very flesh if given any more strength. Without fair warning, his face contorts again, this time accompanied by an infuriated tilt of the head. "You don't even love him, do you? This is all a fucking game to you!"

Fucking-he… he thinks this is a game? What right does he have to say that to me? I've done nothing fucking wrong! This isn't about me… or Kiba… this is about… this is…

…if this were just a fucking game it wouldn't hurt this much! If this were a game I wouldn't feel like my insides were tearing apart and my chest wouldn't feel so fucking hollow! If-if this were a game… I-I… I wouldn't feel like I want to rip my own heart out just to make sure it's still beating…

Before I know what I've done, my hand raises in response, my feet shuffling back… into ready position.

I am selfish. I was alone for far too long, and now I am selfish. I don't know what I'm doing here… what right I have… but if this will make the pain go away, or even just dull it a little… I have to do this. I have to do this to prove to myself this isn't a nightmare, and that I'm not going to wake up…

But even through this… I'm scared, so utterly scared. I hate this feeling. I hate knowing that right now, I'm in over my head. I've prepared for this moment a long time, even going so far as to create a new jutsu solely for this battle. Kage Amimono no jutsu, a passive defensive skill I created after seeing the sand shell that protected the Kazekage… but when I use this skill my chakra will drain very quickly. And even worse, I won't be able to use any other shadow skills as long as the Web is in effect.

But I have to do this… I have to…

Even if… Shino is very smart, and there are very few holes in his fighting… and even fewer that cannot be plugged. I'm only hoping that now the rain will be to my advantage, that is… if it changes anything at all.

I push my fingers together in a simple seal. "Kage Bunshin no jutsu!"

Since three is my unlucky number, I've split myself four times. Shino watches carefully, undoubtedly already sending out tracking insects to each clone. But I've gotten quite good at Shadow Division. It won't do him any good. The clone directly to my left leaps back, ready to pose as my real body until it's destruction.

"Kage Amimono no jutsu!" It shouts, the air around it's feet swirling, but otherwise showing no visual sign of the discipline.

Hopefully this will give me enough time to think up a better plan.

Myself and the clone on the other end take a running start while the two in the center each throw a shiruken to divert Shino from our attempted flanking.

Shino dodges the shiruken easily and with surprising grace, immediately summoning up two large hands with his insects. Shit… it didn't phase him at all! The large swarming fingers flex once before stretching out-one toward my Shadow Clone, one toward myself, looking very ethereal and at the same time… very dangerous.

I quickly start forming the first seal I can think of. "Koton! Goukakyou no jutsu!" Placing my forefinger and thumb at my mouth, I exhale, hurling the fire toward the insect hand mercilessly. My clone isn't looking so lucky, however, and is forced to use the replacement technique to escape.

When I see that log splinter into thousands of tiny shards it hits me again… I'm in trouble. This is the kind of fight that… the first blow is the last blow… and odds are, if Shino hits, it's going to be fatal…

The remaining insects fan out, obviously aiming toward the clone posing as my real body. Shino wants this fight over as soon as possible, that's for sure. I have to stop him from reaching it… I have to protect my façade… I still don't have another plan! I don't know what's wrong with me, but nothing is coming to mind!

"Shino! Stop it!" Kiba's voice echoes from the sidelines, though I know he dares not approach.

Completely ignoring Kiba's cry, Shino makes a beeline for the two remaining clones blocking my fake body, easily slashing them away with a pair of kunai he seemed to pull from thin air.

Apparently sensing their just entrance, the insects attack quickly, and the Web does as it should, pulling the shadow around the body's feet up to defend him from attacks just as Gaara's sand used to do.

Myself and the clone remaining in the back meet midway, knowing that if he destroys my fake body, it will all be over that much sooner.

Our hands fly together, forming seals with each others hands as if possessed. "Koton! Kaenhoushaki no Jutsu!"

This should be very powerful… at least enough to divert him from his goal. Pressing our fingers to our lips, the fire spills across the ground rapidly, almost instantly engulfing the bug master in flames hot enough to incinerate human flesh.

Black ash falls to the ground, but I'm certain it's not Shino's remains. No, he's far too good of a shinobi for that.

One…two…there! Shino reappears above my fake body, instantly hailing it with a barrage of various weapons. The Shadow Web flies upward, reflexively, attempting to intercept the weapons. This skill wasn't made for that, the defense isn't powerful enough to stop something as large as a kunai…

The weapons cut through the shadow as if it were nothing more than the result of diverted rays of the sun. The fake body attempts to stop the weapons with it's forearms, but to no avail. Shadow bodies cannot sustain much damage… usually a single shuriken is enough to do the trick… and just like that, it disappears in a puff of smoke, leaving absolutely nothing behind.

This isn't good… he destroyed the clone body much faster than I'd anticipated…

"Kage Amimono no jutsu!" Our voices ring out in unison, fingers flying as quick as humanly possible…

Two new fists form from the shapeless mass of insects hovering in the air. It's very obvious who the targets are. And they're fast… very fast… but the seal completes just in time, catching the brunt of the insects with the Shadow web…

But even with the Web in place, it won't hold long, not against this many insects… I don't have enough chakra for that… especially since I've split the skill in two.

I have a minute at most.

"Koton! Goukakyou no jutsu!" Our voices again are in unison.

Insects fall dead at our feet by the thousands. It's really quite disgusting, if one stops to think about it… there's a glint in the corner of my eye… hell, that clever bastard! The insects were just a cover! And the kunai is so close now that I won't have time to dodge!

I'm going to have to waste even more of my chakra… I activate my Kawarami technique… but no log this time… leaves should do the trick.

Shino turns away from me, gazing intently at the clone lying on the ground, kunai imbedded dangerously deep in it's left shoulder. It's a very good clone to be able to sustain such damage, you have to give me that.

"Shikamaru, surrender." Shino leans down and grabs hold of the clone's shirt, receiving only my infamous glaring smirk and a self assured scoff.

This is my one chance. If I screw this up, I've as good as lost… I have to be absolutely stealthy for this… this move is my silent kill. I've used it on many an assassination mission, despite the fact that a Chuunin doesn't typically perform such tasks…

My fingers still locked in seal, I begin to sink into the shadows below my feet until none of my body is outwardly visible. This is similar to an illusion really… or a cloaking device. Should I be stupid enough to stick a limb out of the shadows into the sunlight, that limb would be an easy target.

I hear a surprised intake of air when the Shadow Clone at Shino's feet disappears in a puff of smoke. Quietly, now. A jounin of Shino's level undoubtedly has very heightened hearing and chakra sense. If he looks hard enough, I'm certain he could find me.

I creep up behind him slowly, every step languid and carefully thought out. I break the skill once in place, my body seeming to leap from the shadows that ripple like water… and I do jump, springing over his head high enough that he cannot readily reach me.

This move will have to be drastic. I only have enough chakra to perform it once.

"Ka-" Shit… what the? My throat… what's… I land harder than expected… buckling my knees beneath me. But-but fuck, my breaths are gasping and… it can't be… no, I took precautions… I…

"You forgot one little thing." Shino towers over me as he approaches… it hurts… but I manage to roll my eyes upward to meet him. I don't want to give him the satisfaction… of letting him think I'm a witless coward in my last moments…

I can't speak… when did the bugs start entering my body? I couldn't feel anything… nothing!

"Before the battle even started, I left a single insect on you. You were marked the whole time."

I, fuck! I should have noticed! That means the insects were entering my body the instant my Shadow Web went down… so when I was in the shadows… I didn't make any mistakes! He was just trying to break down my defenses the entire time!

Imagine that. The 'genius strategist' Nara Shikamaru... outwitted. I'd laugh if not for the situation.

Shit… it… it hurts… and I… can't hear anything. They're swarming me openly now, nothing I can do… even when I swat at them… completely unaffected…

I feel something… like hands pulling on me pushing me, I can't tell… the insects are all over my body…

A million tiny scratches everywhere… inside and out. I can't see anything, but I feel them… destroying me… I can't breathe… I'm dying…

It's that black place in the back of my psyche, that black place that steals away the light… it's come for me now… but…in this darkest moment… I…

I'm dying… can you believe that? Can you… can anybody hear me? I'm drifting… do I look like a cloud out here? I never knew being like a cloud would feel so cold… it is cold. I-I'm dying… I'M DYING… oh gods… dying hurts, it… it hurts… it's cold and alone and I don't want to be here-I don't want to be here-I want to go home… please let me go home. I'm dying… I don't want to die…

I DON'T WANT TO DIE…

I DON'T WANT TO DIE…

I DON'T WANT TO DIE…

I-

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A/N: I don't wanna be a writer anymore…-Slams head on desk, then crawls away into corner.-


	9. From the Darkness Comes

Disclaimer: Jutsus don't kill people. Fanfiction authors with mental problems do.

A/N:Hmm, was hoping taking drastic measures would draw a couple more reviews... oh well. I love all of you who do review anyway. I look forward to your feedback every time.

Oh, and by the way… the last chapter didn't have a "next time" simply because I felt like scaring the shit out of all of you. I'm a horrible person grin

CHAPTER NINE: From the Darkness Comes…

"Hey, look, the lazy bastard's finally coming to, Kankuro!" Who is that? A woman? I can't see anything but white… the tips of my fingers… are tingling… I don't like this place.

"The fuck?"

"Don't fucking curse at me, Nara! I came all the way to this dingy little hellhole to visit you, I'm sure as hell not going to sit here and take it while you start spouting out curses." This voice…

"Te-Tema-ri?"

My face whips to the side, suddenly spreading a warm, stinging sensation all across my flesh. I hear a woman shriek, no, not Temari, someone else, someone older…

"Temari-san! What do you think you're doing?"

"C'mon grandma, he's not that fragile and you know it."

"WH-WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?"

"But he's injured, Temari! Give a guy a break!" A man, too? What is this a circus? Am I some sort of fucking exhibition on the horrors of deadly jutsu? I groan, irritably, raising a hand up to my face… shit… hurts to move… like my muscles are in shreds…

"Fucking hurts…"

"I'll bet it does," Tsunade spits, though I still can't quite see all her facial expressions… "What were you thinking, Shikamaru? How unbelievably stupid can you be?"

Kankuro groans in the background…

"Don't know what you're talking about…" I blink a few more times… a little better… still blurry, but definitely an improvement.

There's a tapping, someone's foot tapping. Not sure whose… "From what I hear, not only did you ditch your mandatory teacher's meetings, but you got in a serious fight with Shino, in the middle of a town, where there are people… the both of you caused a LOT of damage, and…and…"

Shit she's gonna blow a fuse. "This is Konoha?"

Temari laughs, crossing her arms over her chest. "So you still have a couple brain cells left. That was almost a week ago, genius. When I got here one of the first things I saw was you slung over Lee's shoulder, all kinds of nasty looking shit sort of just falling out of your mouth…"

"We thought you'd been injured in a mission…" Kankuro sits idly beside his sister, looking as though he wants to leave as soon as possible. "So when we found out you got in a fight with the Bug Boy…"

"It didn't make any sense." Temari flips a lock of hair from her face. "What was it? Were you guys fighting over a girl? If it was Naruto I might have thought it was a bowl of ramen or something, but…"

I let out a slow breath. It hurts less that way. "No. He just pissed me off."

"Uh-huh…" Temari points a skeptical eye towards me. "I guess when you're feeling better I'll have to beat it out of you. But until next time…"

Temari and her brother rise to their feet, turning toward the door. "Don't feel so bad!" Kankuro shouts from the doorway. "Shino beat me, too."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Every two hours I've faded in and out of the living world. Every time I awaken, I feel as if I'm expecting something… something that maybe, just maybe will be there when I open my eyes. Every time I fall back into unconsciousness… well, the only reason I even know I do is because of the way I awaken… and the way the sun is positioned differently from my window. Times, like now, when I'm completely lucid, I sit up in my hospital bed, despite the pain… and just try to keep my chest from caving in. it hurts to breathe… blink… sometimes it even hurts to form coherent thoughts.

And to think, I'd already been here, completely unconscious for an entire week and the simplest things still hurt. I must really be in bad shape… I don't want to think about it… but I really should. If it turns out I'm going to hurt like this my entire life… I'm going to have to find a new profession.

After all, the nurses here won't describe my condition as anything more than 'stable'. I'd have a talk with Tsunade, but ever since the first time I awoke-this morning, I believe, I haven't seen a glimpse of her. But, being Hokage is very busy work, I can't say I blame her. Now that I'm alive and breathing, odds are, I'm not on top of her priority list. Maybe I'll send her a message tomorrow, if I remember by the time tomorrow comes about.

And it's upsetting… Chouji and Ino haven't come by, and while I really shouldn't care… I do. I know they'll come by eventually, but I guess you can say it's pretty lonely here, with nothing but the company of airhead nurses who won't even let me open my window for fear of 'contamination', or that I might 'get the other patients sick'… troublesome. I'm the only one here. They're just being ridiculous.

So, yeah. In other words, I'm not a hermit. Everyone just likes to think so because I'm always off staring at the clouds or such. You know, I used to watch clouds with Chouji all the time.

If it didn't hurt so much to move… I'd just get up, get out of this place and, I don't know, stargaze on the roof. But no… I had to do something so stupid. I don't even know why I did it. Why I turned around… and looked Shino in the eye.

This has got to be one of the dumbest things I've ever done in my life.

Much to my surprise, there's a gentle knock at the door before someone pushes it open… not bothering to flick on the lights. They must be trying to cover their bases, alerting me should I be awake, but not waking me should I be asleep… Well, I suppose it is after visiting hours… a hand grips the edge of the wooden door, tentatively, though it does not move from there. I shuffle onto my elbows, ignoring the ripping pain as best as I can.

"He's probably asleep, you know."

"I don't care. I said I wanted to come here, so I'm not leaving until I see him."

"Fine, suit yourself."

The hand slips from the doorway as the door pushes open, letting in very little light from the dim hallway. The figure pushes the door shut behind him, barely becoming visible when no longer haloed by the lamp in the hall. A frowning face greets me, eyes reflecting white even as they are shadowed by loose locks of hair.

"You're awake…" Kiba murmurs, taking a few hesitant steps in my direction. I notice a forced smile pulling onto his lips as he catches my gaze.

"Yeah." Is that the best I can do? I really am a lazy bastard.

Kiba scratches his cheek, idly, his eyes shifting here and there. "I'm glad to see you're doing all right. Last I'd heard you were out of critical, but still in a coma… I'm… glad."

"That's more information than I've gotten since I woke up." I grunt irritably, resting two fingers on my temple with my thumb linked under my chin. "I'm just getting what I deserved I guess." He takes a seat on the bed beside me, bouncing the mattress twice. "Kiba, there's a stool for a reason, you know."

He smiles, crookedly, "Yeah, but that's where you sit when someone's on the verge of death, and I already did my fair share of that in the lobby when we brought you back here. Tell ya what… it's no way to spend the remainder of a vacation leave." A hand reaches out, awkwardly placing itself over the hand still lying prone across my stomach. "Besides, the cushion or lack thereof hurts my ass."

I fall back against my pillow, drawing my arm across my forehead and a single eye. "How sweet of you, sacrificing the wellbeing of your ass for me."

He lets out a halfhearted chuckle. "Yeah."

A long silence follows. Kiba notes his hand still lying atop mine and withdraws it, quickly. Well now. Isn't this awkward. I hate having to be the one to break a silence. It's not generally part of my character, nor do I usually care when enveloped in silence. But this is different… somehow…

"Uh… did anyone happen to divulge the details of my condition to you? I can't get shit from the nurses, here."

He shrugs, nervously. "No. Nothin'. They probably said something to your parents, though."

"Hmm."

"Yeah."

I pause, rather uncertain of how to continue. This is hard, for whatever reason. My mind has enough time to dance around several conversational points before I come to the numbing conclusion that I suck at talking to people. "So, uh…" Point twenty three? Twenty seven? No… My voice creeps pensively from my throat…"How was your date with Shino?" Good one, dumbass.

"Fine, fine." He pauses again. "He's ah… fine. Outside the door actually."

"Really?"

"Uh, yeah. He's really sorry, but he's too scared to come in here and see you."

I shake my head. "I see. You two a couple, now?"

Kiba's voice grows increasingly shaky and I begin to wonder if maybe I'm prodding too much. Kiba sucks in a hard breath and stops like his brain will work faster if he stays still. "No… I mean, yes, well… maybe…"

"It's only been a week. It's okay that you're uncertain." I'm trying to be gentle, but I'm sure it's not coming out that way. Especially since his face looks like it's been physically upset by a hard pang of shock. Either way… I didn't think it was… that bad… "…Right?"

Kiba shakes his head, more like trying to clear his mind than negation. "I don't know what's fucking wrong with me."

He looks as though he's been stabbed through the chest. "It's not my fault, is it? I wasn't meaning to put tension between you guys."

"Well… I guess I just can't get over the fact he nearly killed you."

"Murderous intent in the heat of passion, can't say I blame him, even if he is going against one of the first rules of shinobi." I… can't be mad at Shino. After all, I was treading on his ground in the first place. "But I'm no better... I-I felt so weak." I don't know why I let that slip from my lips. "I felt like I was going to die. Like it was inevitable… but…"

"Shikamaru…"

"…but I was so fucking scared. I kept repeating it over and over… 'I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die'… there was nothing else. No life flashing before my eyes, no redeeming epiphanies… just… 'I'm gonna die'… over and over… and darkness… everywhere!" F-fuck…

I feel arms wrapping around me, a finger wiping away a tear I didn't know fell. "Shh… That's normal, trust me. I take it this is the first time you nearly died, ne? I've been there, four maybe five times already… and it's always so damn humiliating. I-I understand. If only-if only it hadn't been Shino…"

"He's smart… he outsmarted me ten to one…" The truth fucking hurts. My chest is burning, inside and out. I hate this.

"Yesterday…" Kiba lowers his voice, considerably. "…he came onto me. I mean like more than the little kisses he's been stealing all week. He wouldn't take no for an answer and I ended up kicking him in the jaw. Probably another reason he doesn't want to come in here and see you."

"That bad?"

"Oh yeah… he's not so smart."

I really want to just bust out laughing, but I doubt Kiba would forgive me if I did, so I stifle it while it's young. "Glad you didn't manhandle _me_ like that."

He pauses to speak, but apparently thinks better of it. "Y…yeah." He pauses for another moment, letting a second awkward silence linger in the nearly stale hospital air. "Are-are you feeling okay, now? Lee said you were convulsing like crazy when he carried you back, and Sakura-chan was saying something about you screaming in pain the first couple of days you were in here. Hinata and Neji went in to see you too, but nobody will really talk about it beyond that…we… weren't allowed to see you before two days ago…"

"My muscles ache…" Especially my chest, for some reason, "breathing sucks… my chakra is like nil…" Actually now that I really think about it, I feel like a lump of shit… "I feel like I've been training for three days, nonstop, you could say." No, actually I feel like I've been shredded to pieces and forced back together, to be nice about it. And my ego's been crushed. No, decimated, annihilated, completely withered.

"Feel better."

"Is that a wish or an order?" I laugh bitterly to myself at the matter-of-fact way he stated that, even if the act does make my diaphragm feel like it's ready to implode.

Kiba drops both hands onto the bed, and I feel eerily aware of the physical wave the motion sets into action. "Both." He leans in as if by instinct with slightly parted lips, closes his eyes gently and places a soft kiss across my equally parted mouth. I didn't realize how chapped my lips felt, or how well his settled into mine. Damn… he's hot. It's not really my place to say that anymore, but I can sure as well think it. He lingers but for a moment before pulling away, departing…an aching softness to his every move. "That was bad of me…molesting a sick person." Kiba scratches his cheek, and I think I can just barely catch a tinge of blush on his cheeks above his tattoos… "Especially with Shino right outside the door."

I let out a labored sigh. "Then for your own sake you should stop it before it becomes habit." Dammit… sounds like something Sasuke would say… I sound like a total jerk today. "Sorry…" My voices drops nearly and octave, and my posture starts to slacken.

"It's okay, Shika-kun. You-you're right." He touches my cheek briefly before pushing himself off the bed. "I mean… it was just a fling, right?" He stops halfway to the door, a quiver suddenly evident in his voice. "I'm not supposed to get emotionally attached to someone I can't have."

I turn my head to cover my open eye with my forearm. I can't think… don't want to think. I sit motionless as Kiba gently shuts the door behind him. I know what he said… I know what it means. I'm not that naïve… but, at the same time, I know I can't accept it. The moment I lost that battle to Shino, I not only lost any remaining shred of pride, I also instantly lost any right to feel for Kiba. "Sorry, Kiba…" I whisper into the surrounding darkness.

Not that he can hear me, anyway…

sxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxk

A/N: This chapter felt really short when I wrote it… but it seems to be just as long as most of the others. I don't really know how I feel about this chapter, maybe too choppy? Messy? Ugh… Shika's not exactly taking it easy, either. I don't know if this chapter really could have been any better, as much of a mess as he is.

NEXT TIME:

A minute ray of sunlight. The warmth of a face from one's past. Gently formed words on the lips of a friend. Simple things really. They break your fall just enough so you can stand up, brush yourself off, and continue on your way.

Marvelous, no?


	10. Temari

Disclaimer: If it looks like shit and smells like shit, I'm sure as hell not eating it.

A/N: Current writing music-H.I.M. Deep Shadows and Brilliant Highlights. It fits eerily well...the future of my fic is definitely a-brewin!

No internet makes me go crazy. Sorry for the late-ass chapter. Just got my computer back on the web, and man am I relieved.

You know what's a total downer, though? Getting bad reviews. You know,you get all excited because there's that review in your mailbox, then you open it up and it's like... oh... I guess a story like this is bound to attract negative criticism as well as positive. I didn't think I was portraying Shika as a Sasuke clone...but I might be wrong, I dunno. But that's kind of funny, thinking about what happens in this chapter...heheheheheh... sad thing is, it's totally coincidence, this chapter has been written for about a week now.

CHAPTER TEN: Temari

I'm awake… at least, I think so.

I can't fucking tell with the shades drawn, cold sterile air wafting about me like the doors have never opened. The sheets feel almost waxy, the hospital issued clothes stiff and unyielding. Ugh. It feels so fake, all of it.

But my chest is pounding like hell, and it's burning so fiercely… I can only hope this means I'm awake, lucid and that it's just dark. I would just get it over with and kill myself if I found out I'm hurting in my dreams. I take a moment to rub my eyes, instantly regretting it when the muscles in my arms recoil and a searing, shredding pain rips up past my shoulders.

I can make out shapes, now… I guess that's an improvement. Table. Door. Beds. But no fucking clock.

That's it. I'm getting up.

I didn't think it was possible, but the moment my bare feet touch the floor I come to realize the pain in my legs is five times worse than that in my arms. Not that it will stop me from opening a damn window. The window's ten feet from my bed, but I only make it a good seven feet before my legs threaten to fall out beneath me. I push my body forward as I fall, managing just barely to catch myself on the windowsill. That's good enough. I pull up one hand and rip the curtains to each side.

Ah, it's worth it. The sun cascades onto my face like a parted lover and suddenly the room's bleak interior is graced with even the slightest inkling of color. It's warm against my eyelids, and for a few moments I'm able to forget all about the way my legs are shuddering in pain.

It must be partially from disuse. I have a feeling if I force myself to walk around for a bit it will hurt exponentially less.

I stand up straight and make my way back to my bed at a reasonable rate. I was right. This time my legs don't give out and I'm able to sit down on my own accord. A personal victory, I suppose.

Until someone busts through the door and forces me back into bed, I figure this will give me something to do. It's better than being forced into traction. What kind of ninja can't get over a little leg pain, ne?

o.o.o.o.o.o.o..o.o.o.o.o.o.

A good ten minutes pass before anyone shows up to check on me. And to my luck, my doctor ends up being the old hag herself. She lectures me for a few minutes after forcing me to sit down on the bed to check on my physicals. Fortunately, she makes no move to close the drapes.

Very matter-of-factly she pushes various points on my legs arms, and chest, carefully avoiding anything that would get too personal. In a way, I'm thankful, but it irks me at the same time. She's a medic, she might as well do her damn job to the fullest. I don't say a word. I guess she's the doctor, not me. "Good, everything seems to have straightened out… your chakra has returned, at least a little… muscles are staying attached this time…"

Attached… this time? That can't be good. "What?"

Tsunade glances up, her eyes wide like saucers for just a moment as my question registers. "The insects were burrowing in your muscle tissues and I had to bind them back together with chakra. Why do you think it hurts so much, genius?" Okay, that was uncalled for. However, I don't press the matter further. "You're just lucky I purged your system before they put any holes in your heart or lungs."

I laugh, cynically. "He really was trying to kill me." It's only a whisper, but being she's one of the sennin, it wouldn't surprise me to find she heard every word of it.

"When you get out of here, you should really thank Neji and Hinata, without their Byakugan there's no way I could have cleared out your chakra lines in time." She smiles, a warm, soft smile that betrays her age just a little. "But you're looking far better than I expected, so I think it's safe to say the endeavor was a success."

"So when _can I_ get out of here?"

She furrows her brow. "If you stop being lippy I can get you out of here say... today, by the look of you. I'll have you put on medicines for about two months, and you'll have to stay on crutches for a few days, just to be safe, but I think you'll be fine."

I let my head droop, releasing a grunt of understanding as I do so. "Thanks, Tsunade-sama."

A beaming smile appears on her face, probably from my 'courteous' thanks. "Your temporary guardian will be here in an hour or so, so if you can hang tight until-"

"Tsunade-sama, I don't need a babysitter." I'm not a kid anymore.

"She's not going to be with you twenty four seven, brat. I'm just having her keep an eye on you while you're out and about for a little bit. If your condition deteriorates I don't want to have to revive your sorry ass a second time!" Her face has turned sour, though I can only catch glimpse of it by angling my eyes in her direction. I feel too lazy to turn my head. "I'm not asking her to sleep in your house or hand feed you! Give me a break, Nara."

"Thank you, Tsunade-sama." Sarcasm. My best friend, closer to me than even Chouji and his charmingly disgusting eating habits. I take a deep breath and mentally roll my eyes. This is stupid. The crutches, okay. I'll give her that, even if I'm just humoring her in doing so, but a caretaker? I think the old witch has finally crossed the line of violating my personal bubble.

"Remember. An hour."

"Yes, _ma'am_!"

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

More like an hour and forty minutes.

Right before I simply stood up and walked out the door Temari appears in my line of vision, looking mildly frazzled with a half bottle of sake tucked conspicuously in the fold of her navy blue jacket. I try not to grimace at the sight, but I fear my body is giving me little choice. I mean, to the point where I might have an aneurysm if I don't look away for a minute or two.

"Shi-ka-ma-ru-kun!" She nearly stumbles, catching herself on the doorframe and glaring at it fiercely.

"Temari, you're shitfaced." I cross my arms, letting my scowl become even more obvious, if at all possible.

"Oh-ho! Mister state-the-obvious!" This isn't a good sign. Not only is she supposed to make sure I don't fall dead in the street, but she's swaying from side to side dangerously as she steps. I'm going to end up killing myself saving her! I hate my luck. I hate my life. Where's some rope? I might as well get it over with now. When I look back there's an awkward smile on her face. "I brought you some medicine."

She shakes the half empty bottle back and forth as she approaches me. I'm so very tempted to just pick up one of my crutches and give her a good thump on the forehead. But I know if I do that she'll start yelling at me, and I'm really not in the mood.

"C'mon now, stand up just once and tell me you don't want it!" She sets a hand on her hip and tilts her head back, smugly. I would laugh really hard right now if she just lost her balance and landed flat on her ass. "I heard what the old hag said."

"Yeah, she said I couldn't leave this damn place until you showed up. Now you're here. Get me out of here so I can dump you off at the bar and go home."

Her lower lip juts forward in an attempt... to look cute? Well whatever. It's not working. "That's not nice, Shikamaru-kun. I hate drinking at bars... makes me feel like a stumbling drunk."

_Well, you ARE a stumbling drunk_... Damn. I should just say it, but I know Temari's not past hitting a guy on crutches, so I keep my mouth shut... pretty much. "Troublesome." I push myself up without too much resistence from my body and start heading toward the door. I guess that'll have to do for now.

o.o.o.o.o.o

"Oi, Temari, you're heavy." Twenty minutes and ten meters later... This is starting to wear down on my fuse. "Oi! Temari-teme! Get off my arm, that hurts!"

"Saa! I need to sit down, Shikamaru-kun..." The blonde girl mercilessly tugging on my arm recedes for a moment, settling herself down on the grass at the edge of the road before once again pulling at my hand and dragging me down with her. I don't think she really understands the severity of the pain I'm feeling right now... "I'm... sobering... up... gah-aaah! I hate sobering up, fucking headaches and shit..."

"You drink too much." I sigh, heavily. The grass against my skin feels rather nice,I'll admit. I had no idea I was burning up so badly.

"Not too much..." She says in a lecturing tone. "Just too fast."

"Whatever." I set my crutches aside, carefully before leaning back into the cool grass. "Too much, too fast... at this point I don't think it really makes much of a difference."

Temari shoots upward suddenly, throwing herself into an awkward sitting position. "Of course it does. If you take it too fast you don't get to savor it."

"Eh... I don't agree." Temari starts off laughing. I can ignore it. "I never drink unless I'm stressed out or on special occasions."

"Pfffft! Liar!" She rolls onto her side, her cheeks tinged red from her laughing fit. "You always took your time... it's niiiiice..."

"Temari--did you even hear the end of my sentence?"

"Who cares?" She leans her cheek against the palm of her hand, gazing at me with eyes still a little too fuzzy to be sober. "We should do it again."

"Eh? What are you talking about?"

"We should fuck."

I sit up a little too quickly and nearly collapse from the searing pains that shred through my body. "Te-temari! You--Ino said you have a girlfriend!"

Temari grins up at me, devilishly. Dammit. Why the fuck did she have to go and say something like that for? "Heh. I never said she wouldn't be joining in, ne?" My mouth snaps shut and the clacking sound of my teeth colliding is more than enough to disconcert anyone withing a good thirty meters. Yeah... pretty loud.

"Temari! I--like I'd be comfortable with that!"

"Li---ar!" She rolls onto her back, flashing me a toothy grin. "It's every guy's fantasy to be with two gorgeous chicks at once. Besides, I asked her right when I got into town, and she's totally up for it. She was sold as soon as I told her about the thing you--"

"Temari!"

"Sheesh! A snippy little bitch today, aren't we?" She lowers her brow at me, not quite a glare... but very nearly. "You never took this long to convince before. It makes me wonder if you think you've grown up or... if maybe you have someone else. Ne, Shikamaru-kun?"

I lock my eyes on her indifferently, blinking once before handing her a reply. "No, I'm just tired of drama." Very tired.

Much to my surprise, Temari remains silent. A few moments slip by, and before I know it, my eyes have locked on the wisps of clouds floating by through the wind ruffled leaves of a tree. It's been awhile, hasn't it? Since I had the chance to just stare up at the clouds and let all the problems in the world pass me by... it seems wrong now. Almost as if the magic is gone.

The obvious slosh of liquid against glass pulls me back. My eyes shift over only to find Temari's sake bottle waving back and forth in front of me in an awkwardly hypnotic sort of way. There's that pleased-half-plastered look still hovering over her eyes and lips, silently urging me to go ahead and take it. I pause for a moment, have a second thought...snatching away the bottle, I throw back one long swig. Apparently, I've changed my mind.

"Don't care. I like foursomes, too."

I grimace and take another, less extravagant swig. "I told you there's nobody."

"Hmm? I can't hear you. Nobody? So you _were_ fighting with Shino over a bowl of ramen, ne?" A light chuckle wafts over from her direction.

We were fighting... "not for somebody. More like something. I don't know, pride? Or maybe it was all arrogance. Fighting over an idea like it was something we could touch... something we could win. Stupid, ya know?" I take hold of my crutches, carefully pulling myself to my feet. "Troublesome. I'm losing my goddamned mind."

She rolls onto her stomach, tucking her arms under her chin, lazily. "You're not crazy. You're just a man. That means you fight for stupid reasons, get pissed off easily and bottle up your emotions. You're normal as hell. In fact, it's irritating."

"Maa, don't forget lazy."

Temari furrows her brow, snapping her eyes toward me as if attempting a potentially fatal genjutsu. "Pfft... fuckin' smartass prick."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Every once in a while, a little sake is good for you. It warms up the blood, calms the nerves... dulls physical pain ever so slightly. Personally, I don't like getting straight out wasted--I'm not the kind of person who feels comfortable in a state devoid of coherent thought. Even the thought of losing control over my body makes my stomach turn. I don't understand how any level headed shinobi could think differently. Inebriation is definitely a state of helplessness.

But apparently not all ninjas are level headed, like my friends for example. Take this scenario, Naruto, loud mouth ninja number one, staggering across a fairly crowded street, tripping over shoelaces he doesn't even have. And by some weird ass sixth sense, apparently... coming right for us. It's like he's on a mission or something. Gah. I wish he'd just fall over and pass out. Why am I surrounded by freaks? Why can't anyone be normal... or at least sober? Is that too much to ask?

"Aha! Shi-shishamar-" Hah... Naruto never should have been allowed to drink, of age or not. "Dammit, your name's hard to say... Shisha--shishi--shimaru? Err..."

"Go sit down before you fall over." Temari smirks, earning a heated scowl from the kyuubi boy.

"Eh-eh, it's old lady Temari. Whaddya want, ya old hag?" Naruto's alchohol slitted eyes open ever so slightly, revealing the hazy gray rings under his eyes even more than I thought was possible. "I'm tryin' to talk to Shishi-kun, go away!" That is so _very not cute_! I face the blonde with my best glower in place, but say nothing.

"Hey, I'm not that much older than you, moron!" Temari fists her hands, defensively. If I don't stop it all now...

My hand flies forward without my command, shredding pain throughout my body, but otherwise getting the point across. Temari and Naruto stop there, both turning their gazes intently toward me... well, as intently as their current states of mind will allow.

Naruto suddenly catches a stray thought, bouncing his fist on his open palm once. "Oh, oh! I remember now! It's a... a... I was s'posed to find you and uh... yeah!" Much to my dismay, the slobbering drunk grabs hold of the fabric of my sleeve and tugs stiffly. "Inside, here."

I've given up any thought of struggling. The guy's so determined even my Kage Mane no Jutsu wouldn't be able to hold him back for long.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

"Yeeeouch!"

"Sempai!"

My eyes widen, pushing past the door. There's a sudden wind by my left ear and half a dozen dull thuds. Several stray kunai and part of a broken shotglass? I have a feeling the assault wasn't intentional... which can only mean one thing.

They're playing drinking games again.

Not to mention that shout I heard. Taking a quick overlook of the room, it appears the victim was none other than Chouji, who's now shooting death glares at the shiruken jutting halfway from his palm, though he's making no attempts to remove the thing... definitely drinking games... and worse than that, Lee's the one with weapons in hand, blindfolded by his hitai-ate and turned away from his target. We're just lucky he's learned to handle his alchohol over the past year...who in the hell knows what could have happened if he still flew off the handle after alcohol even touched his lips. Granted... he's still not aloud to have more than three drinks.

Neji and Sakura are off in the corner, still looking fairly sober, but under enough alchoholic influence to be taken in by the game, Hinata is smiling innocently from the bar, swaying ever so slightly, Shino and Kiba are in line for the shiruken toss, and apparently Sasuke is the next victim in line, as odd as it may seem. There are several others in attendence as well, some I know well, others I don't know at all... a few I only know by name or face... mostly jounin with a few chuunin peppered here and there. I think that's even Kiba's sister Hana and Konohanmaru, too, even if the latter isn't technically old enough to be drinking at a bar...

Ino and Tenten don't seem to be in attendance, at least not in my line of sight, and Temari's already disappeared from behind me, probably off to seek her girlfriend or get some more booze in her veins.

"C'mon Shishi-kun! It's a celerbration!" Naruto lands a heavy hand on the center of my back, reverberating pain into both arms, respectively. Not like I can get too mad at the guy, though. He's so plastered he can't even pronounce everyday words correctly. Then again, that could've been two drinks for Naruto. What a lightweight.

Cheers erupt through the room as the sharp thunk of three kunai hitting nothing but wood enters my ears. Drinks are thrust into the air, and for a moment, Naruto seems to have completely forgotten my existence. "Yeah, Sasukeee!" Naruto wails, his voice cracking like a pubescent boy. I grimace sternly and walk away without saying another word.

Maybe a good stiff drink is in order, afterall. The fairly shaken bartender smiles as I sit down at the bar, my crutches leaning up against my leg to keep drunken idiots from tripping over them and trying to start a fight... more than likely with the crutches than me.

"Shikamaru!" The stool to my left is pulled out by a feminine hand.

"Ino..."

"Where've you been all day? I thought you got released from the hospital this morning..." Her usual scary smile passes over her face and I turn away.

"I've been taking care of a troublesome drunken idiot all day. And you?" I glance back at her.

"Same." She points a thumb behind her at an obviously intoxicated Chouji, who simply smiles and waves at me with a freshly bandaged hand. "Sakura ditched me and now I've got to play doctor for these idiots all by myself."

"So what's this all about?" I lean my elbow up against the bar for a moment, but the pain makes me think better of it and my hand ends up back in my lap.

She looks surprised for a split second. "This? Oh, didn't you know? Today the Hokage selected Jounin Instructors for the new Genin teams..."

"Hmm... heard about it a few weeks ago, but didn't care seeing as I'm not a Jounin and none of my kids are good enough to be Genin yet." I let out a silent sigh at the thought that I can't rest my chin on my hand. How troublesome.

A brighter smile graces Ino's lips. "Well guess what? One of our very own made the cut! Already! Can you believe it?"

"Yeah."

Her face twists to a mock-upset scowl. "C'mon, Shikamaru-kun."

"Fine, fine. I'll bite. Who?" I can feel the bottom corner of my lip pulling downward in irritation.

"Your boyfriend."

Okay, full blown grimace, now. "So nobody, then."

"Shikamaru, you know I'm talking about Kiba, you lazy asshole!" She stands up and leaves without warning. I don't know what kind of weird bug crawled up her butt. She didn't seem that upset. But I'm shitty at reading people, so whatever. Let her do what she wants. It's none of my concern anyway.

"She's mad 'cause she can't drink." Chouji chides, pointing across the room, though if Ino's there, I sure as hell can't see her. "Desig-designated mother hen..." Chouji laughs, almost choking on his own throat as he does so.

"The role doesn't suit her." I breathe heavily.

"I think it's cute."

Another sigh. "You would. She's your girlfriend, Chouji. It's really just a pain in the ass."

"Hey, kid. Need a drink or anything?" The bartender interrupts... "Shinobi drinks are all on Hokage-sama tonight."

"Ah, sure. Whatever's fine."

Chouji resumes his giggling, apparently unphased by the interruption as if it were still the normal flow of conversation. "She lost a bet to Naruto again."

I shake my head, taking the drink offered to me. "She needs to stop doing that. If there's one thing Naruto has that she doesn't, it's luck."

"Mm, mm!" Chouji nods enthusiastically. He seems pretty stable, maybe he's not as hammered as I thought... nah. He's hammered. "I hope she never learns."

"Here!" Taken a little by surprise, Chouji and I both whip our heads toward the intrusive blonde girl making her way toward us. What is she--? Oh. Temari and Tenten are with her. Though... I couldn't tell you why. "You deal with it! I'm sick and fucking tired of caring for everyone else's idiots, so you take care of yours!"

Wow. What a bitch. I think Chouji was a little confused with that whole mother hen thing.

I need another drink. This is going to be one long fucking night.

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A/N: Well, ah, nothing much happened in this chapter. Dunno what to say. It's a filler episode! BWAHAHAHAHA!

NEXT TIME:

Each change in the wind or turn of the tide brings with it a new tale. New places, new experiences... as we hope to forget those gone past. A change in the wind can be necessary. A change in the wind can be welcome. But things are never more than what one takes from it.

Run! Run into the wind and see if you can fly!


	11. Cardboard Wings

Disclaimer: Damn the man, save the empire!

A/N: Man... its been a long time. I suck at this updating thing. I have reasons, but it doesnt matter. Read on.

CHAPTER ELEVEN: Cardboard Wings

I feel hot. My head hurts. Fuck. Dammit. I drank too much. Fuck. This sucks. I wanna stab somebody. Don't care who. I hate drinking. I hate fucking hangovers.

Dammit, where'd my shirt go? Fuck. Troublesome piece of--at least my pants are still on... they are on, aren't they? My hand wanders curiously to my waist. Yeah. Pants. Check. That's good.

Wait... where am I? The smell is off. The air is thick with other people, there's no way this is my place. Which means...

Hell, I'm almost afraid to open my eyes.

"Shikamaru?" A feminine voice whispers from beside me, the futon below my leg shifting ever so slightly. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! FUCK!

"He's still asleep." A second female voice chides. W-wait... two? What was I _doing _last night? Gods...

"No, look! His eyebrow just twitched!" The first voice... dammit I know that voice. Maybe--is that? Can't be...

"You're right!"

Man, I'm gonna do something I'm almost certain I'm gonna regret. I turn my head toward the voices, and slowly crack open a single eye. Fuck. I knew it. Kill me.

Temari grins brightly, blinding me with her uncharacteristic exuberance. She's not wearing much, either... in fact, all she's wearing is her sheet. Not like it's something I haven't seen before... but shit. Don't wanna see it now. Not in the fucking mood. Sitting beside her,and equally as naked, is a half flustered Tenten, her hair down and her arms wrapped securely around the other girl.

Fucking hell. I have too much of a hangover for this to be hot.

"Morning, sunshine." Tenten says in a teasing tone of voice.

"Fuck." I slip, burying my face back into my pillow... err

...that's not a pillow.

No, in fact... that's a Kiba. In a moments shock, I swear my heart stopped beating. Damn, at first, his shirt felt suspiciously like a pillow. He shifts a little beneath me with a moan, his right arm pulling me closer in sleep. Well... I suppose compared to what I woke up _next to_, this is the lesser of two evils... I turn my head back toward Temari and Tenten and give them my best scowl.

"What?" Temari releases a small laugh, pulling her girlfriend on her lap, possessively. "You're the one who crashed right away. I thought we were finally gonna get that foursome you promised me."

I growl into Kiba's chest, "I never promised you anything, you were just so shitfaced you heard what you wanted to."

Tenten shakes her head, a smile floating happily on her lips,"You really don't remember, do you? You got pretty smashed last night, Shikamaru-kun."

"I don't remember? What the fuck did I say?" Kiba shifts again, and I'm starting to worry he might wake up...

"I think it was after Kiba popped up behind us a proclaimed his love of men with dark hair."

That stupid pixie looking face, eyes rolled upward in sarcastic wonder. I wanna punch her lights out. Or anything violent at all would be just fine. I'm almost willing to ignore my little rule of not hitting women. My head hurts, my body hurts... fuck, my pride hurts. Or what's left of it. Maybe I'd be better off just curling in a corner and dying. "That sounds like bullshit."

She laughs again. "You didn't think so when he was all over you. But it's kind of suspicious, don't you think?"

Temari suddenly butts in, her chin resting comfortably on the younger woman's shoulder. "Yeah, when you figure eighty percent of the shinobi in the room had brown or black hair."

The two girls turn to each other, almost as if they've simultaneously come to an important conclusion. Tenten puts a hand up to her mouth as she starts to speak very quietly. "Oh, that's right. He did, didn't he?" They're not getting a rise out of me. They've been fucking planning this all night. I can tell. It's fake, it's annoying, and it's grating on my nerves... but maybe that's the hangover talking. Fuck it! What's the fucking difference? "You mean when Sasuke and Kiba were making out and nearly screwing in the corner? Man, Naruto sure did seem jealous, ne?"

Making out, eh? I could see that, Kiba pinning Sasuke to the wall, Sasuke taking a handful of Kiba's hair and kissing him agressively... Kiba grinding his hips into the shorter boy... err... I suppose I should stop there... I sit up carefully, shifting my weight off of the sleeping man in such a way he shouldn't awaken. "I'm leaving. Don't you dare wake up Kiba."

Temari wrinkles her nose, letting her pouting lip shift cockeyed. "Oh, come on Shishi-kun."

Refusing to respond one way or the other to that horribly _demeaning _nickname, I carefully rise to my feet, pulling what I can of the sheet over Kiba's still fully clothed body. "I said don't." Temari shifts again, letting her chakra flare in mild anger. After throwing my shirt on, carelessly I thrust my hands into my pockets, rather disappointed when I find them empty. "Temari, what happened to my cigarettes?"

"I dunno." She furrows her brow. "I didn't take 'em."

"Then give me one of yours."

"I quit." She rolls her eyes.

"No you didn't."

"Fine, they're on the dresser. But don't mess with anything or I'll cut your fingers off."

I scoff, turning toward said dresser. "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

"Shut up, Nara."

Well, it turns out there wasn't much to mess with on the dresser anyway. Just a framed photograph of Tenten's old team, a pair of kunai, cigarettes, a lighter, a small frilly teddy bear and a second framed photograph, this time depicting Tenten and Temari in matching short/bikini top combos with their arms linked around each other, happily. I shrug in my head and pick a single cigarette from the pack. And that's right, I lost my lighter, so I snatch that up too, leaving everything else untouched.

I contemplate saying something, think better of it, and make my way back across the room. The eyes of both girls follow me, nearly burning holes in my back, but it doesn't really bother me. I slide open the ricepaper door leading out toward the balcony, step out, and close it sharply behind me.

I push my cigarette to the left corner of my mouth to avoid chewing on the tip and finaly light it after five patience trying flicks. Dammit, I really needed a smoke. I exhale heavily and gaze outward at the rooftops of Konoha, resting my aching arms against the balcony.

My voice comes out wispy like words carried on the edge of a sigh. "Sasuke, huh? You sure have awkward tastes, Kiba."

Hn. And people call it crazy when you talk to yourself. But maybe I am crazy. Who knows. It sure would explain a lot.

Setting Temari's lighter down beside a pot with an interesting array of small cactuses, I hesitantly throw myself over the railing, landing on the ground one floor down with considerable grace. But shit... it still hurts. Like my legs are on fire. Whatever. I can handle it. I find I can handle most anything, no matter how troublesome it may be.

...but I can't handle everything. Nobody can. So when I feel my heart wrenching painfully in my chest, I know what it means. It means I can't handle you. Couldn't handle you if I wanted to. I can't shut you out, I can't ignore you... hell, I can't even drink you out of my life.

Kiba... you're too much for me, you know that?

Even the smartest people make mistakes, sometimes. And, I dunno... maybe my mistake was thinking I could walk away. Maybe it was crossing paths with something I couldn't control. Hell, maybe it was as simple as deciding to take a break. I seriously couldn't tell you. All I know is that somewhere down the line a mistake was made, and I don't know how to fix it. I've never been good with personal issues, never been able to read underneath people's feelings, let alone my own. But it's a widely known fact that keeping yourself busy devoids your mind of thought. And right now... that's exactly what I need.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

"Shikamaru-kun, you wanted to see me?"

I glance pensively at the heavy-chested woman across the desk. I'm sure about this. I know I am. "Yes, Hokage-sama."

"Okay, then. Spill it. The Hokage is a very busy woman, you know." Did I just detect a slight tarnish in the Hokage's cheery disposition? Hmm.

"I'd like for you to assign me a mission. Preferably a long one, so I can get out of the city for a while."

She smirks, resting her cheek wearily on the closed knuckles of her left hand. "So soon after surgery? Aren't you a trooper. But out of town, Shikamaru? I've heard gossip that you've been quite the active bit of this and that since you got back on your feet. You sure you want to leave all of that so soon?"

"On the contrary, Tsunade-sama..." I rake a lazy hand behind my ear. "That kind of thing I'm trying to get away from. It's so--"

"Troublesome, yes?" She smiles brightly. "Well, anyway, I suppose I can grant your request. I have a stack of A-Class missions that need to be taken care of, one or two specifically calling for strategic maneuver."

"But Hokage-sama, I'm a Chuunin, and--"

"And do you want a mission or not? My only other strategists are off on their own missions, already. What do you want me to do? Send Naruto? Gods know he couldn't strategize himself out of a wet paper bag." She frowns, her eyes grating into me. "Take it or leave it, Nara Shikamaru."

I let out a heavy sigh, resting my hand on my hip. "Troublesome... fine, whatever!"

"Good good." She pulls a paper off of a moderately towering stack and starts scribbling away, my presence not forgotten, but inevitably ignored for a few moments. "Here you go."

And there's that big unmistakable "A" etched in red marker. I can feel my lip pulling downwards. Well, I was the one who said I wanted a long mission. This one is marked at two weeks, traveling both ways from Wave Country and mission time. That means it will probably take three. It's also marked "strategic reconaissance"... in other words, pain in the ass. I guess I'll look through the details later, but what I've already read is enough to give me a mild aneurysm. I was hoping for a routine assassination or a staking operation.

"I'll assign you a team just in case things go wrong. Though..." She pauses for a long, uncomfortable moment, her eyes tracing a big circle across the cieling. "I can't think of anybody off the top of my head. I'll get back to you on that one."

Which leaves me wondering: how much does she know? Or more likely yet, who is she gonna ream for information the second I walk out the door? I'm sure I don't wanna know, either way. Who the hell knows what kind of gossip is floating around. I'm sure if it bothers me too much I can go ask Ino. That woman spills like a jar of beans. Well... about most stuff. Gossip, most definitely. Either way, I'm hoping like hell the Hokage doesn't catch wind. All I need is some old lady trying to school me on love life. Yeah, that and half a dozen ulcers.

o.o.o.o.o.o.

Finally. It's been two mind numbing days of monotony and avoiding everyone I know since I recieved my mission from the Hokage. Waiting here at the edge of Konohagakure fully armed and supplied has never seemed so relieving.

Even better than this strange sense of relief is the fact I've actually been set up with seemingly reliable people for this mission. The only person here when I arrived was Lee, who's reliable enough. Other than that, he briefly described the other two jounins we're currently waiting for. Tsuzumi Taro, a medical nin, and Ryouken Sudoko, a former Anbu tracking kunoichi. Though I've never met either of them, Lee has nothing bad to say, and I'm far too lazy to do anything but trust his word.

o.o.o..oo.o.o.

Today is a load of my shoulders.

Holy hell, I feel emancipated. No worries, no need to rush or work too hard. They say you don't appreciate what you have until it's taken away from you. That's a load of bull. The truth is you don't know what's gone until you've got it back. All the way to this little middle of nowhere city has been a laid back stroll, nothing like what one imagines when envisioning an A rank mission. Well, I mean, beside having to pull the reigns on Lee every now and then. That kid takes hyper to a whole new level.

I feel like I could watch the clouds again, and maybe I can smile without a headache.

This mission was a blessing in disguise, let me tell you. It feels strange to be out and about in civilian clothes, armor and weapons carefully concealed from the casual onlooker, but at the same time I couldn't appreciate anything more. The way townspeople smile as you pass... it's nothing like home. The people of Konoha aren't cold, per se, but it's definitely hard to walk around and recieve smiles when people_ know _you're a lazy ass good for nothing of a ninja.

And that really cute girl we just passed, how she turned a dozen shades of red when I returned her smile, damn!

"Do we want to hit the hotel now?" Taro asks, suddenly stopping dead in his tracks to turn gaze toward myself and the two jounin.

"I'm not even tired yet!" Lee proclaims, as though he can't speak in anything other than exclaimation marks.

"You wouldn't be." I whisper under my breath. "But we should find some place to check in even if it's not time to call it a night. This is the last town until wave country. We should make the best of it and stay in a bed for one last night."

The med nin ahead of us nods, enthusiastically. "Let's go."

Taking a sideways glance at Lee, all I can do is chuckle inwardly at his plight. Nowadays he even chants about youth under his breath. I guess it's a creative alternative to cursing... or maybe he's just Lee and there's no point in questioning it.

Yeah. It's probably the latter.

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A/N: Yeah, if anyone was wondering where in the hell the whole TemariXTenten thing is from, well... for some reason I've always liked Temari yuri (is it so wrong?)and I came across it when looking around for other ShikaXKiba fics. It was in a foursome piece that was actually quite yummy. And now that I think about it, the whole Temari+yurihappiness thing is probably one of the several reasons I detest ShikaXTemari so much.

I love Shikamaru yaoi. I can't help it. ShikaXKiba is my favorite, but just about any yaoi with him in it seems to rock my socks.

And yes, I apologize for the crappiness of this chapter. I had good intentions... I really did.

NEXT TIME:

People say many optimistic things. And whether or not the glass is half empty or half full, it all really comes down to believing. Some believe in fate, some believe in superstition, and others yet believe in the power and beauty of youth. How far can one go on this alone? How long can one wait before their flower bud wilts?

A flower blooms in Konoha... but not for the first time.


	12. The Lotus Blooms Twice

Disclaimer: Damn the man, save the empire!

A/N:So sorry everybody!! I WAS DUMB AND FORGOT TO POST THIS CHAP AND THE NEXT ONE!

**OCs: **Basically, since I don't describe Sudoko or Taro at all, just imagine Sudoko looking like Tayuya only with spikier shorter hair and a sarcastic smile, while Taro looks rather boring. A Sai-ish haircut, and really plain features. Clothes... eh, regular stuff I guess. But for all I care, you can go ahead and imagine them both in clown suits.

CHAPTER TWELVE: The Lotus Blooms Twice

Yet, despite this feeling of release, I find myself unable to sleep. I feel unusually aware, tossing from side to side even though I haven't caught wind of any sort of danger. This isn't like me. Usually I just let my thoughts wander for twenty minutes or so, then I'm out like a light.

I guess I'm more tense then I thought I was. What with the surgery I was completely passed out for, and my friends' uncanny ability to get in my hair. Kiba, Shino, Ino, Temari, TenTen, Sakura, Sasuke, Kiba... Did I say Kiba twice? Err... I suppose it makes sense why he'd stress me out more than everyone else. But the sad thing is, I must be letting him. Asuma always told me nothing bothers you unless you let it. He's right. Not that I ever doubted it, but I never expected it to be this true. I can't stop thinking. And if I can't stop thinking, I'll just run over everything over and over until I die of stress or suffer from complete hair loss.

There should really be an off switch on the back of my skull.

Then again, now is really as good a time as any to sort through all these things. Who knows, maybe if I put everything in its place I can finally just get on with my life.

Okay. So, I went on vacation. Why? To run away from boredom worse than death. From there I got carried away on a crush and slept with Kiba. My friends are insane, so naturally I was bothered to death by Ino and Sakura kissed me, probably out of desperation. Shortly thereafter, the knowledge that I slept with Kiba was discovered by Shino, who, because of intense feelings for Kiba, got extremely pissed off and nearly killed me. Shino won the battle, proving himself as a man, and rightfully winning Kiba's attentions. However, after a night of heavy drinking Kiba made out with Sasuke, somehow managing to end up in bed with myself, Temari and TenTen, dispite our agreement to end any feelings or relations between us.

I've forgiven Shino, because I understand how he feels for Kiba. Sakura will be fine, and I'm sure she knows it. Sasuke and Kiba were drunk when they made out, so they probably didn't realize what they were doing. Ino was just acting out of concern for me. Temari is just horny and weird, so she probably pulled Kiba in because I either said something in a drunken stupor, or she heard it from Ino. Tenten is only involved because of her relations with Temari. Kiba, well... I slept with him because I A: hadn't gotten any in way too long and B: I had a crush on him.

What am I missing here?

Damn. I guess that didn't really help at all. Just popped up some imagery I probably shouldn't let into my head so easily.

I'm hopeless.

I roll onto my side, again, a little irritated by the feeling of my hair underneath my bare shoulder, but far too lazy to move it. I don't know. Maybe I just need to talk to someone. Maybe somebody else could see the details I seem to be missing. But I guess that's out of the question right now. Lee wouldn't exactly understand. And even if he did, I think it would be pretty awkward, what with some of the stuff I'd be saying. No. I should probably talk it out with Ino when I get back to Konoha. For some reason it seems right. Maybe because only a woman would understand guy problems, or maybe because I trust Ino with my life. Whichever. I suppose it's not really important.

Here I go again. Why can't I just fucking sleep?

I sit up from my bed sharply, shaking back the annoying mass of hair that's now tickling the tops of my shoulderblades. I need a haircut. If I let it go I'll start looking more like Ino's father than my own. When I pull it up into my usual ponytail it slouches a little more than it should, as if my hair is depressed or something. It looks like crap. Oh well. I guess that will have to wait until I get back to Konoha, too. I guess I could get it done here, but eh, lazy.

Now I'm far too awake for my own good, but I've been out of action long enough for my skin to feel damp and almost oily. I always feel that way when I'm woken up in the middle of the night or when I stay up too long. Sometimes in the morning, too, when I'm not quite rested enough and I have to pull myself sluggishly from bed. So maybe it's not actually my skin... I don't know. Maybe it's some troublesome sort of mental thing that happens when I feel unrested. But if I leave my hair down for too long when I'm feeling this way it starts to feel dirty and unwashed too. Maybe that's what I should do... take a shower. Maybe. So lazy... eh-ehhh. This sucks.

My feet move from the bed on their own accord, sinking softly into the temporary cushion of the plush carpet. I'm slowly drawn toward the door, my legs taking on minds of their own and giving me really no choice in the matter. Pushing through the unappealing slab of plastic and wood core, I walk silently through the hall, taking note of every little creak or gust of wind. Where should I go? The bathroom in this place is a little further down the hall and off to the right, or I could keep going straight and leave through the front doors to smoke a cigarette... troublesome. I hate making decisions that don't matter. If I go shower, I'll feel clean, but then again, just getting some fresh nighttime air would probably do the same. Hmm... but I can't smoke in the bathroom, so I guess outside wins. I pull a cigarette from the pack I left behind the service desk and stick it behind my ear.

I'm hit by a gust of unexpectedly cold air the instant I slide open the door, causing a momentary shiver to run the length of my body and escape from my shoulders.It's not that bad really. Just caught me a little off guard.

The moment I click the door shut behind me, I realize that I'm not actually alone out here. Down the porch a little ways Lee is practicing some kick sequences. Looks like I'm not the only one who had trouble sleeping. Except that it's likely a completely different world as to why.

"Shikamaru-kun!" Lee exclaims with a smile, finishing the last two kicks in his combination before filling the gap between us with a high spirited jog.

"Un. Yeah it's me. Just out here for a smoke." I flatten my eyes and shrug.

Lee strkes one of his patented nice guy poses, causing his bright green pajamas to rustle loudly and twist unnaturally around his arms and legs. "This is a blessed omen! I've been meaning to speak to you for days, but only now has my stern determination and youthful patience paid off!"

I shrug again, lighting my cigarette on the first try. Well, that hasn't happened in a while. "Yeah, so what's up?"

A deep inhalation of breath follows, and a sharp exhale thereafter. "I need to thank you, for whatever you did! Your cool words and laid back assurance have finally brought to light the intense passion in my heart!"

"Err... what?" I raise a single eyebrow and thrust my hands into my pockets. "You're not hitting on me, are you?"

Lee chuckles. "Of course not!" He sticks a thumb in the air, letting his smile sparkle for a moment before returning to conversation mode. "Sakura has sat beside me at lunch for an entire week now, and she has even accepted my proposition for a date as soon as we return from this mission!"

Uh, okay. "Geez, you sound like a lovesick teenager."

"As much as I enjoy working on such important missions for the good of my country, I can't wait to return home to my dearest cherry blossom." He puffs out his chest proudly. "It fills my heart with the most youthful of joy even thinking of it! I cannot thank you enough!"

"Yeah, I can't wait to get back either. I need a haircut."

Lee stops, his youthful exuberance suddenly put aside. "Surely you have more to look forward to than that."

"Not really. My hair is driving me nuts. I need to take a good three or four inches off." I shrug, flipping my head to the side to eccentuate the lame state of my ponytail.

Lee pauses, putting a hand to his chin in a way that is very reminiscent to his idol/sensei. "Wow it is pretty bad. It flops over like the unkempt tail of a mangy horse."

"Yeah, thanks for stating the obvious." I turn my head back, frowning to myself. It probably looks worse than it is due to the lackluster way I tied it up, but I didn't need the metaphor using my head as a horse's ass.

"I've been sidetracked!" Lee shouts, straightening his back and thumping his fisted hand on his palm. "I must thank you again for helping the blossoming of my eteranal love, and know that I am deeply in your debt, Shikamaru-kun! If there is ever anything I can do to help you achieve the girl of your dreams, I swear upon the power of youth, that I will do it!"

"Eh, you don't have to do anything like that."

"You don't have a dream girl? That can easily be remedied! I will make sure that every fiber of my being will hereforth be devoted to the worthy task of finding your eternal love!"

"I'm fine, really."

"Nonsense, there is no need to be so hip and cool about this, Shikamaru-kun!" Lee turns on his bare heels, suddenly, an overabundance of energy sparkling in his eyes. "I have much work to do! If I cannot find your eternal love in one month, I will hang upside down from the nose of the Fourth's monument for an entire week without falling or resting. And for every time I pass out I will run fifty laps!"

That dumbass. That really is impossible. He'd pass out from all the blood in his head in a few hours and end up breaking his head or something. I reach out my hand to object. Before I can say another word, Lee is long gone.

I should be used to it by now, the way jounin are with their random comings and goings. Gods know I'm already used to their weird quirks and reckless lifestyles. I lean up against the railing, staring out at the deep blue black sky. Thin, fragile wisps of smoke rise from my cigarette, playing in the wind just as the darkened branches of trees and the barely visible blades of meadow grasses in the distance. Then again, for a jounin, Lee has an unusually stable state of mind. That means he's slightly less crazy than the rest of his peers. Ack. That's a scary thought.

Somewhere on the horizon, darkened clouds of smoke are rising, so dark they could be missed by the untrained eye. A brushfire, maybe.

Wait. Why can't I smell any smoke? Am I losing it, or something?

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

I have to be safe. Every ninja instinct in my body is screaming and tearing at me, and if I don't do something I could very likely snap. I step through the hallway without caution, pounding on each of my teammates doors twice, knowing they'll awaken without much effort. There's no such thing as a shinobi that can sleep deeply even in his own home, nonetheless in an unfamiliar hotel around other breathing humans.

Before I even finish knocking on Taro's door, Lee and Sudoko are already two steps behind me, pajamas still on, but weapons drawn.

"There's a suspicious cloud of smoke rising on the horizon, Sudoko, go ahead and scout, Lee, back her up, there's something amiss in this place!" Despite their higher ranks, Sudoko and Lee agree instantly, phasing out of the room silently as opposed to disappearing in a puff of smoke, which certainly takes less chakra, but is much more conspicuous. "Taro, stay behind us, all right?"

He nods. "For a chuunin, you sure are used to handing out orders. No wonder Tsunade-sama speaks as highly of you as she does."

"I'm a strategist, Taro, that's all. This has nothing to do with rank or ability." This isn't the time for conversation...

"I know, I know. Let's move out, _captain_!"

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

This couldn't have come at a worse time. I pass from tree to tree silently, striking Sudoko's marker tags to prevent any enemies from following our tracks, should they be around. The chakra burns left over should be virtually unreadable, but I have to be careful letting out any bursts anyway. The average jounin is trained in following chakra trails, so control is crucial.

It looks like we have the advantage right now, but I can't help but be worried. To be out so late at night...the moon has peaked in the sky. I'm useless at a time like this, when the world casts no shadow. I only hope my mind is sharp enough to make up for such a handicap.

The smoke rising higher and higher into the sky leads us into a clearing, though in the dark, I cannot see too much. But what I can tell is that a genjutsu barrier has been set up around the area, effectively blocking the senses of a lesser ninja or civilian. The craftsmanship is sub par, however. The ninjas who did this were either of chuunin rank or lower... or in a hurry to get out. I can't tell which, yet.

A swirling sensation passes over my shoulder for a moment, before an unnaturally red falcon with an upturned crest perches on my shoulder. "Don't dispel the jutsu yet, there's still something going on inside." Sudoko's voice pauses for a moment, the bird's head flicking from side to side. "Permission to investigate? It smells like blood."

"Circle the area and enter from the north. Have Lee come in from the west. Taro and I will cover the southeast. Be careful." The bird flutters away, disappearing the instant it leaves my shoulder. That bird wasn't a summon... I don't quite understand, but I suppose a hunter-nin with an animal companion isn't necessarily unheard of. There are plenty of animal worshiping tribes, like the Inuzuka, and even my own family. My father sometimes boasts about several missions where the deer call actually came in handy.

"Captain?" Taro interjects, placing a hand on my shoulder to indicate his direction, since I cannot see him. Standard ninja practice. Confirm location and presence while speaking, so as to not get stabbed in case of sudden movement. "We should split up, cover more ground."

"No." Taro's chakra surges for a moment. "I can't risk it, not right now. You aren't up to the level of fighting to go off on your own, and I can't perform to my full ability at night. We're better off together."

The answer seems to satisfy him, a bit. The two of us circle a short distance around the right side of the illusory bubble ahead of us before carefully passing through. It doesn't seem to be a trigger of any sort, and the user's chakra prints are all over the place. Only one. Whoever this guy was, he wasn't very careful.

"You sense anything?" I ask, very careful not to move from my hiding place.

"Nothing. We should contact the others."

"Don't bother. Just be very alert. Let nothing go unnoticed." I slink off to the side, following the line of shrubbery toward the cluster of houses in the central area of the clearing. I can still see the smoke, and I can calculate the location... but I can't see far enough to determine just what the smoke is rising from. And strange... I still don't smell anything burning... is the fire an illusion as well? How annoying.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Dammit.

There was no fire. The smoke was just a beacon, calling out shinobi to see this--this... mess. This massacre. Five bodies, stacked one across another, purposely piled like a totem. What is this supposed to be? Art? It's not to my taste if it is. From the corner of my eye, I catch Taro pulling up a mask. I don't think it's to any of our tastes.

The four of us didn't sense anything. This doesn't bode well, and yet... the work of this particular shinobi was so amateur. It makes very little sense. For some reason, I don't think we're being toyed with. It doesn't have that sort of feel to it. If I were to guess, I'd say this guy is just arrogant and wants others to witness his handiwork.

"The question is..." Sudoko voices, her words very deep in her throat. "Captain, does this have anything to do with our mission?"

I cross my arms. "I don't know. Why are you asking me?"

She spits over her right foot. Very ladylike. Like several other females I know. "You're supposed to be the brains in this shit, aren't you?" Eloquent, too. She'd get along with Temari all too well.

"If nothing else, we're close enough to Wave that it's worth looking into."

"I wonder what Lee's found?" Taro steps up beside me, his mask still firmly in place.

"I'll send my Hunter." She must mean that red hawk. Sudoko steps back, pulling a scroll from her breast pocket.

"Wait! There's no need for that." The three of us whip our heads to the side only to catch the ever charismatic Lee perched up on a treebranch, a heavy load slung over his right shoulder, seemingly unconscious, with a good amout of blood drying up around his mouth and nose. "And you're gonna love what I found in his scroll pouch!"

o.o.o.o.ooo.o.

I don't know about 'love', but this is definitely a step in the right direction. However, decoding the first half of the letter was far more troublesome than I was hoping, seeing as I had to do it by myself and I'm not exactly a prodigy when it comes to things of that nature. But I suppose I managed. The hardest part was really just figuring out the fact that the symbols on the sheet didn't decode into kanji figures like one would think they would. Once I cleared that hurtle, the first stage was a snap. The second half I tossed over to the other three, but still ended up figuring it out myself. Whatever happened to ninja's being able to see the underneath of things? Gah, I don't know. Maybe they just don't want to mess with the Latin letters.

"What does it say, Captain?" Taro pokes his nose up over the paper, invading my personal bubble a little.

"Go-- go! It says go, right?" Lee puts a hand to his chin, putting up a perfect thinker's pose. "But now, does he mean go as in the number? Go as in the game? Interesting..."

I can feel my forehead throbbing, mercilessly. "Damn... can't you people see I'm not done here?"

A few painstaking moments later, I've cleared out another two letters... T... C... what kind of word is this? From the looks of it, it's a single word... after all this freakin' work! H... Gotcha? What the fuck is that supposed to mean?

"Let me see!" Sudoko rips the paper from my hand, smearing a small portion of the ink I so carefully softened. "Gotcha? What the fuck is this? Some kinda Wave country fuckin' joke?"

"Sudoko, you're smearing the ink." She glances down, staring at her own hand for a second. No wonder she's an EX-member of ANBU.

"Whatever, it's just a lame joke."

A look of concern crosses Lee's face for a moment. "Sudoko-san, we have to send that scroll to the Hokage!"

"Fuckin', what the--" Sudoko stops, gazing down at her hand a second time. "This ink it's... it smells like chakura..."

"It's tracking ink. I thought an ex-member of ANBU would be keen to something like that."

The girl frowns, "I didn't think anyone used this shit anymore."

"You're right. Chakura tracing ink is obsolete because it's too easy to detect and counter." My lip pulls down, slightly. "There's something wrong with this whole thing. Activity this far down, amatuer jutsus, out of date tools... I think Hokage-sama got some bad information."

Lee stops, taking a backward glance at the captive tied to the tree. "After we send him back to Wave, we should follow the trail this guy left. It's a few days old, but..."

"That's what I'm here for." Sudoko smiles, dispelling the chakura tag with a simple clench of the fist.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Very bad information indeed. The man's prints were a straight shot, leading directly to a rickety old building on the outskirts of the forest. It's strangely quiet here, but according to Sudoko, the man we captured wasn't working alone, due to several different sets of footprints on the scene. Many very recent.

After this, I wasn't at all surprised to find the so called 'army' was just a bunch of ruffians spreading some in depth rumors to give themselves the inkling of credibility. It's pretty obvious when you look at it, though. For one, seeing as Wave country doesn't actually have ninja, low level ninja activity would seem like a big deal to them. And if the bandits' leader has any sort of intelligence at all, which he seems to, spreading an intricate rumor around a fairly naive country would be a piece of cake. Sensing danger, Wave's leader did the only thing he could do. Hire ninja.

And here we are, hired ninja, our objective pretty much destroyed and our mission... I don't know if you'd call it a success, but it's been accomplished nonetheless. I doubt Wave will be happy when they find out, after all, A rank missions don't come cheaply.

"Should we take these guys out?" Sudoko whispers, catching glimpse of three or four men in makeshift ninja garb through a few broken slats. "It would be easy as hell, don't you think?"

"That's not our mission. We'll head back to town, and if we recieve word back from the Hokage, then we'll do something about it... but until then, we'd better lay low and put the civilian act back on."

"Not that they could tell, anyway." Taro interjects, a half-assed scowl creeping to the corner of his lips.

kxsxkxsxkxsxkxs

A/N: Wow. I didn't expect Shika's conversation with Lee to sound so silly... but what can you do? Sadly, that conversation was really the main event in the chapter. The mission is just a sidetrack.

BTW: They never made that agreement... heh. Oh how he tries to convince himself.

NEXT TIME:

In the heat of battle, a soldier can kill a thousand men to become a hero. In the heat of passion, a man can only kill one and be forgiven. So when the soldiers fall, and the blood of a man has been spilt, the story ends. The pacifist knows no such story. Pain like a river washes over him, and in time, as the wounds refuse to heal, the only life he can take is his own.

Why must every story end in bloodshed? Why must the story end at all? He who only watches cannot say. His eyes stare in disinterest at the carnage wrought, knowing that in time, his story will end as well. But to survive the battle and to survive the crimes of the heart, does that not grant him strength as he presses forward? He says nothing, smiling a knowing smile. He knows much, but he knows nothing of these things.

All he does, is lazily watch the clouds.


	13. Drifting As A Cloud

Disclaimer: Serious side effects include blood clotting, indigestion, and cardiac arrest. However, these cases are rare. If mild irritation occurs, simply kick author in face.

A/N: Whoo! Finally! Did you know stories don't magically transfer themselves from your notebooks to your computer? Mendokuse.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Drifting As A Cloud

Nothing is simple. It's always a pain in the ass and, I dunno, I think I'm starting to get used to it. Its been a measly fifteen minutes since we sent out our information to the Hokage, and as luck would have it, a cute little slug summon pops out of nowhere with a scroll in its mouth. Not only does that mean we have to deal with a slimy scroll, but it also means there's been an extension on our mission. An order for a search and infiltrate. Basically get the info out of the building before ANBU shows up and busts the place up beyond recognition. I sure hope we're getting paid overtime for this. Yeah. Right.

The building was easy enough to find, despite the fact that it looked like every other building in the Wave city. Clear and unciphered instructions are a relief, not to mention a rarity in this sort of business.

I look up at the sky hazily. It's just about dawn. Thank the gods for soldier pills. An all night run followed immediately by a stealth based raid? It's inhuman. Torturous. I think Ibiki must have tied up the Hokage, thrown her in a closet, and sent out a bunch of ridiculous mission extensions, all the while cackling evilly and sporting a fang toothed grin.

Ee-eeh... why do I always get such silly imagery stuck in my head?

Slipping on my wireless communication device I flash Lee a quick hand gesture and disappear into the recesses of the stone structure. Sudoko did the same only moments ago, and as far as I'm aware, Taro should have moved around back and secured the premises.

"Good luck!" Lee whispers, exuberantly... however that's possible.

.0.0.0.0.0.0.

"I've just about cleared the ground floor." Sudoko whispers through the com. "Haven't seen hide nor hair of anybody... shinobi, bandits, fuckin' dust bunnies... it's pretty fuckin' eerie."

I tap my hand to my ear, touching the device purely out of habit. "I just got in, but there's no one here, either. That just means that either we've been caught red handed or there's a pretty high concentration of men in the basement levels. From the looks of things, though, I'd suppose the latter."

A short and very hesitant pause is followed by static and a single voice. Lee. "...are you sure you don't want Taro and I to back you guys up?" Lee's worried...

"We don't need to take any unneccesary risks." Sudoko replies.

I quietly sneak around the corner when my companions stop speaking, concealing myself in the shadows with substantial help from my jutsu. "The documents should be hidden somewhere in the fourth basement floor." Lee continues, a little half heartedly. Not that I can blame him. It does seem rather unfair that the action man of the group is made to sit back on transmitter duty with the medic while the strategist goes out on the field, but, you know, Lee and espionage don't exactly go hand in hand. Hell, its like a contradiction in terms. On the other hand, sneaking around and silent maneuver is probably one of the only things my jutsus are good for.

"Reached second floor." Sudoko says in a deep but hushed tone. "Oh yeah, there's guys on this floor all right. I've got five civilian types in room B5. Taking evasive measures, following hallway C. Copy?"

Looks like I'm not that far behind. I reach the stairs in only moments, stepping down as quietly and carefully as I can. I should make a strict point not to follow in Sudoko's footsteps, however. That would be completely pointless. So if she's taking hallway C, I suppose I'll take the alternate hallway and make a beeline for the third basement floor. Sudoko covers ground fast enough.

The door to the stairwell is unguarded when I reach it, which means they aren't expecting intruders. Well, that's a good sign. Lax defenses mean less chance that we'll be obstructed in our mission. I listen carefully for a moment. Yeah, I hear voices from the other side of the door down the stairs, but they're rather distant and impossible for me to make out from here... but it sounds like they're going to end up right in my way. Forty two meters, one corner. The resonating echo won't let me determine much more than that. There could be two, could be ten, I can't tell. I can't even tell if any of them have chakra signatures, yet. The logical route is just caution.

Sneaking by turns out to be a lot easier than I'd expected. The four men continue to chat despite me, not even noticing the occasional flare of chakra released from my hands and feet as I carefully crawl across the narrow hallway cieling... but as it turns out, only one of the men in the group has a chakra signature, anyway, and it's a weak one at that. But much to my surprise I find that behind this scant group is another door, maybe not to another stairwell. No. This one is just a door, but a barricade I have to pass through nonetheless. Too bad the thing is closed and in clear view of the enemy. And I don't even know any teleportation jutsus... ergh. Did I say pain in the ass? I sigh internally. Oh well. Guess I'll have to improvise a little.

I silently send out my shadow, moving very slowly as to not draw attention, and slide my shadow hands very tactfully up the backs of each man, stopping right at the crown of the skull. Unless they have eyes on the backs of their heads...in one very swift and simultaneous motion I move the jutsu up over until their eyes are covered. The momentary confusion should allow me enough time to slip through the door unnoticed.

As anticipated, the four men start shuffling around uneasily, two of them jumping in surprise at the sudden darkness. The shock quickly subsides into curses and scapegoating, as seems to be human nature.

The door is not locked and slides easily from the jamb when I push it in with my free hand. But as soon as I slip through the door I circle into the nearest alcove. I need the time to regather myself, but more importantly, I don't need anyone happening upon me just now.

"Floor two almost cleared. Shikamaru, where are you?" The radio goes silent with Sudoko's voice.

"Floor three, down the straight and narrow. Be careful if you're looking to head down. There's four enemy units by a doorway directly east and a short turn north of the stairwell. I don't know if any of them are mobilizing. They're pretty confused right now, but handle the situation with extreme caution, okay?"

"Okay, sounds good." She pauses, the static clears, and she continues. "Lee, Taro, you copy?"

"Got it!" Lee says, automatically. "I've marked the location of the encounter on the map." There's a foreboding silence on the other line. "Taro?"

"Fuck." I hit the reciever a little hard, making my ear ring just a little. "Lee, find Taro. This feels bad. Find him and if he's still alive, stick to him like glue, you got that?"

"Roger!"

I can't be too distracted by this... I still have my own mission to worry about. Lee can handle the situation. I just have to trust him. He's the best shinobi on this team. I slip around another corner, momentarily forgetting my direction.

"So you're the leader, huh?" A deep voice is echoing from behind me... shit this is... "A little scrawnier than I'd imagined, but that doesn't really matter." I stop dead in my tracks. Dammit. If he can see me, that means I must have lapsed for a moment. I turn abruptly to catch a bone rattling slam from both directions. I'm locked in, it looks like. That sound was two iron doors dropping on either side. No escape from either direction... what a primitive trap. But effective I suppose. It's manually activated, too. No chakra, no wires. I didn't see this coming by a long shot. I must have been too distracted to notice the metal slabs above the doors or the weak hooks and slides that were holding them up.

My captor starts laughing haughtily, his massive figure rising and falling rather dramatically with each syllable. I don't know what to make of this guy. Height wise he towers above me, and even if he didn't his bulk would have made up for it. I'm completely outsized here. Not that those things matter when ninjutsu is involved, but I still wouldn't want to slip up and take a hit from a guy like this. I've taken those kind of hits before. You know, the type where you lose feeling in your whole arm, even with bracing and chakra softening the blow. It's unfortunate that in a space no larger than ten meters square there's no real ranged combat opportunity.

"What? Not much of a talker?" The question is followed by a toothy, lopsided grin... and I don't mean that like the one Kiba gives. I mean this in the worst way possible. Let's just say this is less in the WAY he's smilng and more in the mouth itself. And then there's that eye, widened to its limit while the other stays half closed.

"Mm, I have my moments."

Much to my dismay his disturbingly wide eye shifts alongside his smile. "Not afraid of me, eh, kid?"

"Should I be?"

A throaty chuckle. "Your friend wasn't afraid of me either... let's just say it was the biggest mistake of his life." The goliath moves his hand suspiciously toward the back of his belt and unhooks a rather unsightly sack. Thrusting it out front of himself, the man slowly reaches in and when his hand withdraws it...oh gods. Sh-shit. Retain yourself. Taro...shit... "Nice clean cut, don't ya think? Now all his future's got is a nice plaque on my bedroom wall." I can't help but scowl, curling my nose without my mental consent. "Yours could join him, if you like."

"No thanks, I think it looks just fine where it is."

He chuckles again. "Well then, I guess I'll just have to take it without your permission!" He drops Taro's decapitated head on the ground, carelessly, and I catch myself staring fixedly as it slumps to the side and the jaw falls open. Gods... to do that... he couldn't have done this more than five or ten minutes ago... dammit... how could I lose someone on my team... just like that? No... concentrate Shikamaru. This guy is a beast, you can take him if you really want to. You could do it in ten moves. No more, no less. Concentrate. What do you see?

Flicking my eyes side to side reveals a perfectly square room with metal walls. Probably steel. The only mar in the walls is the lines from the doors. Those are also metal, and undoubtedly too heavy to lift mid combat. Fortunately for me, the room is lit evenly by a single lightbulb located dead center on the ceiling, so shadow play is still an option. The ground is relatively clean and free of debris, and like it or not, I have absolutely no place to hide. Now isn't this lovely?

A flare of chakra fills the room, very nearly knocking me off my feet. I brace myself. "Before I mount your head, I'll crush your body!" With those words the man releases a loud shout and a rather large flail materializes between his outstreached hands. Every part of it is as oversized as the man weilding it, from the thick anchor type chain to the ball, which is twice the size of my head and covered in spikes that could very well impale me if I were dumb enough to step in front of them. Overall, though, the thing is only about six feet long. I smirk for a moment at the simplicity and barbaric nature of the weapon, which is so fitting for such a tactless oaf as this one and form the seal for my Kage Mane no Jutsu. The first swing blatantly misses me, sailing over my head and slamming into the far wall, but instinctually I roll away several feet to the right. For all exstensive purposes, I suppose that served as a warning shot. Great. So, as far as this room is concerned, he has unlimited range. I would have had to be an idiot not to notice the thing elongating, apparently to his will. I reform my seal and attempt to lengthen my shadow. Good thing he's not too bright. Keeping a close watch on his eyes, I was able to stretch my shadow a good meter without him noticing.

He swings again, and this time I counter with a single kunai aimed right for his center. He reacts quickly, strafing to the left, though his own strike does not stray as I had hoped it would... shit! I can't completely dodge it, now! One of the spikes is going to hit me! I pull away as far as I can, but sure enough, the last of the spikes tears through the thick part of my shoulder like it was nothing. It fuckin' hurts, but at least its not that bad. Just a good gash, didn't touch the bone. I slap a hand over the wound, momentarily. Okay, it's pretty bad. It's bleeding like a bitch. I can't let this go on too long...

"Hah! And I haven't even gotten serious, yet!" He swings his weapon like a lasso over his head, changing his stance to a ready position, knees bent, feet apart, free arm braced defensively in front of his chest. I dash across the room, throwing a perfectly aimed shiruken, which blocks the beginning of another strike and then deflects into the cieling, just barely far enough past the center so that the lightbulb isn't smashed. He's distracted! Now's my chance! I stop just before hitting the wall, planting my foot and forming a seal just as he steps back into my shadow. I can feel the sudden pulse that means I've caught him. I turn slowly. "What the-" The man gratingly starts to turn his head. "I get it."

"What's that?" I pull his arms apart slowly by simply spreading my own.

"You're from the Nara clan."

Once again I smirk. "Hmm. So you know a thing or two about Konoha ninja. I suppose that's interesting."

"Oh yeah? Well I grew up in that boring ass fleck of a town. Fire country rule number one, no one advances in that damn place without brownnosing their way through the ranks."

"I don't know about that. I didn't even want this damn vest when I got it."

"You're still trash like the rest of them! All my years there and I only learned one damn thing!" His eyes close, suddenly. What's he doing now, I wonder? He can't make any type of seal the way I have him now. What's this? Interesting. Before my eyes his skin starts to glow, a very bright golden color, flickering as though his skin is sparking, and almost aflame. I've never seen this jutsu before, never really anything similar. And he learned this in Konoha? The glow brightens substantially and- his arm moved? I didn't feel any strain at all! I look down at my feet. Dammit. I knew it could only mean one thing. That light destroyed my shadow almost completely.

"That's a good trick." I keep a glow of confidence radiating on my person.

"Did you know that a chakra flare purposely worn across the body can actually radiate as a light source?" Seems like a generally useless jutsu to me. It would be too dangerous to use on a normal basis, not to mention the absurd chakra drain something like that must encompass. Boy, did he luck out fighting someone like me. Lee or Sudoko would have done him in in half a heartbeat.

"But how long can you keep that up? Not long, I'd imagine." I shift my weight, physically slackening my stance for but a moment.

He readies his weapon, widening his good eye. "You'd be surprised, Konoha trash."

"You know your reasons for calling me that are really quite bad."

"You act like I need a reason at all!"

"Point taken." I take a few steps forward and immediately sling two shuriken at my opponent, he easily dodges both, but I'm fortunate enough to gain a better position in the room through this action. But damn, this! His retaliation is unreasonably fierce, not allowing me to get a thing in edgewise as he swings at me wildly, each swing obviously with the force of a fatal blow. I feel the wall coming up behind me, but I hit it anyway, driving a kunai with an explosive tag into the wall beside me. I'm not known for my strength, but at least I can manage that. I'm able to roll away when the flail head strikes the wall, punching another good sized dent into the metal and forcing the tag to blow, though all the damage it does is leave a big black mark on the wall.

But that just barely missed me... I wonder how much longer I can keep dodging like this, especially losing blood like I am... I thought I'd have an advantage in speed here, and yeah, he may not be so fast, but he sure is quick with that weapon. I'd be dead before I could get close to him.

I let two more kunai sail, and though one flies right over his left shoulder, the other sticks him deep. He gropes to remove the weapon by instinct, but when he notices the explosive tag his efforts become fervent. There's not enough time. I saw to that. The explosion is a good one, taking out a chunk of the man's arm, and severely damaging a good deal of his right hand and his side. Before he can recover from the blast I stick another kunai into the wall behind me and make a run for the adjacent wall. The brute recovers as quickly as I guessed he would, and within seconds he's staring me down, obviously still a little shaken from my less than gentle tactic with the explosive tag. But he's exactly where I want him. Good thing he hasn't really strayed much from the center of the room.

But I can't hesitate now. Only two moves left, and any variable would mean a failure.

I rush straight toward the man, and when he leans in to strike I cannonball leap over him, parrying his chain with a kunai and landing soundly behind him. I lift my arms to about chest level, crossed in front of me. "You know what this is, don't you?" He looks side to side, brushing away the invisible strands to either side of him, not bothering to look back at me. Well I suppose it's his loss.

Checkmate.

Too bad. I guess even if he did know what garotte wire is, or what it could do to his body, it wouldn't make a difference. Not at this point. I sigh, shaking my head. All the kunai are perfectly in position in each wall, the shiruken in the cieling positioned close enough over his head to properly adjust the wires. Even if he could run... I thrust my arms apart and close my eyes to fend against the blood spray.

I don't like looking at things like that. I really don't. I shudder once internally and start skimming the ground. My teammates decapitated head is still where it was dropped, miraculously undisturbed throughout the fight. I scavenge a large scrap of cloth from the scene, seeing as the sack it was carried in earlier is nowhere to be found, and carefully use it to wrap the dismembered article and tuck it under my arm.

"Lee, you there?"

A moment passes before I hear a word. "Shikamaru? Thank god... are you okay?"

I glance around the bloodspattered room and pull a length of gauze from my scroll pouch, cutting it with a kunai when my wound is sufficiently wrapped. "Yeah, for the most part. I had a run-in. My injury's not serious, but the other guy's dead. I sure hope Anbu gets here before the rest of the bandits find him. He's not in the greatest of shape... or much of a shape at all, really."

A strange sound echoes through the reciever. "I found Taro." Lee says, without his usual vigor. "Well, I found part of him."

Ugh. "Yeah, well I found the rest."

"We'll put him to rest when we meet up with Anbu." Sudoko says, her voice coming from nowhere.

"Good idea. Sudoko, do you know how to put up seals?" I sure hope she can. The smell is starting to nausiate me.

"Yeah, simple ones. Seals were really Taro's thing." Her voice flattens.

"I have his head with me." I say, softly. "I can't carry it around like this without drawing attention. Could you seal it for me?"

"Sure." She sighs flatly. "Leave it by the door, I'll take care of it. I'm sure... I'll be able to find it."

"Sudoko?" Lee's voice barely comes through. "You two were close, weren't you?"

She pauses for a moment. "We... we're just... we were on the same genin team when we were little and... well, now I'm the only one left."

Lee almost chokes. "Sudoko... I'm so sorry."

"Nah. Let's just keep going. I want to get the fuck out of here." No one says anything, but the consent is definitely felt. I move toware the door, which is still very much closed and make a quick inspection. I should be able to lift it enough to get through, even with my injury, but there's a good chance the noise brought about some less than savory company and while I'm raising the door I'll be an open target. Okay. There's a simple solution to this. I just won't open the door myself. I quickly form a seal and make a couple of clones. One to open the door, another to launch an assault in my place. Fortunately the last battle didn't eat up all my chakra, so this should be easy as a walk in the park. But first things first. Hiding. I slip against the wall, but there's nary a shadow to be found and the smell in here is driving me nuts. I pull the neck of my shirt up over the bottom half of my face and simply stick to the ceiling with my hands and feet.

The first clone gets to work on the door, lifting the heavy slab of metal by the designated handle at the bottom before grudgingly raising it up enough to prop it up on his hands. Instantly the clone is met with a barrage of shuriken and disappears in a puff of somke. The backup clone does exactly as planned and and asfixiates the fourteen men with Kage mane just long enough for me to turn them all into pincussions with my complete supply of senbon. I only have half a dozen shuriken left, so I'll have to be careful from here on out.

The door slams almost immediately after my senbon fly past. At least I can open the door without getting myself killed this time. But just in case of the off chance I missed a couple I have the clone open the door as before, despite the fact there's not backup this time. Fortunately the path is clear. Well, I obviously mean that in a figurative sort of way.

"I'm down in corridor A3." The com buzzes.

"You're leaving a trail, Captain. You should be careful about that." Sudoko says, accusingly.

"I had no choice." I say mid sigh. "Anbu will be here to save our asses any minute now, anyway."

I make it only halfway down the hall before a gasp enters my earpiece, throwing off my concentration for a moment. "Anbu's here!" Lee proclaims. "Hurry up! You have less than five minutes to find those files before the place is ripped to shreds!"

"Shit..." I say in a tone that suggests a shout, but a volume that almost suggests a mumble.

"It's okay." Sudoko replies. "I'm pretty sure I'm close." A pause. "Yeah, there's file cabinets lining this room, all I have to do is find their clientel info, right?"

"And any references to future plans." Lee corrects.

What a relief. "I'm getting out, then." This mission was turning into a real pain, anyway.

"Actually, Shikamaru-kun..." Lee begins, ruining my mood. "I gave the Anbu captain the map, you should meet him halfway."

I sigh irritably. "Couldn't you have just handled it?"

"I don't have the details, you do."

I shake my head. "Whatever." What a bother. I'm not meant for stuff like this, ya know.

0.0.0.0.0.0.

When Anbu arrives I give them what I know, despite the fact that it's not much. They ask various questions like 'what rank was the ninja you fought?' Hell, I don't know if he's even classified as a ninja. 'What time was Taro killed?' Before... I fought the big guy? All kinds of nonsense I don't really know the answers to. I know the answers I gave aren't really satisfying the Anbu guys, but there's not much I can do about that. I'm not a psychic, for one. But through my hypotheses and a rather in depth physical description they're able to name off the brute nin I met up with in that cell of a room downstairs. His name was Sanji, a missing nin for eight years now, defected right around the time of Sandaime's death. That doesn't surprise me. Despite the situation, a lot of shinobi turned traitor during that time, some simply out of fear, and others enticed by Orochimaru's offer of power, like our very own Uchiha Sasuke.

Many of the missing nins returned a few years later and redeemed themselves, but there were others like this man, too. Men so far from grace that no other ending was possible. Fox quickly slashes his name from their list and the others begin disposal.

"I've never known a Nara to be so brutal." Ferret pipes, turning her head for a moment.

"Sometimes." I shrug. "Don't always have a choice, ya know?"

She sighs. "Guess I can't say I haven't done worse, myself. I just figured a strategist would be a little... cleaner."

"Not always." Fox interjects. "Especially not in an enclosed room where there's nowhere to hide. You have to make sure they don't get up the first time." Fox stands up, jotting down a few notes. "And if you saw the scene, you'd realize the strategy was plenty clean. There was just a lot of blood."

Ferret follows suit, standing beside her superior. "You're weird, Fox."

"The others should be done cleaning out the premises." I shift my weight, but say nothing as the two continue. "You can probably-" A shudder erupts through the room, hard enough to throw each of us off balance, and nearly send us to the floor. "What the?!"

The two Anbu look about in invisible shock, hands on their swords, their porcelain masks the only thing saving thir flawless demeanor. Naturally, I move away from the wall. It's bad enough small pieces of dust and debris were just falling from the cieling, if the walls start to cave, I'd be screwed. The shock erupts again, this time shortly followed by two more. There's a crash behind me, and a small yelp from Ferret. I whip my head around and-shit. The cieling is caving in. Several heavy chunks of metal and rock lay scattered about our feet, and more look ready to fall.

"Shikamaru! Watch out!" Ferret screeches. I look up just in time to strafe out of the way of a piece of cieling half my size... Wait a second... Ferret, she sounded like... shut up Shikamaru! It's no time for thoughts like that! "We have to get out of here before whatever's making those earthquakes takes down the whole building!"

There's a sound outside...wind pressure? Shit! Something's coming right for us! "Come on!" Fox shouts, heading toward the open door. We follow for only a second before an even stronger shock knocks Fox against the wall and the other two of us to the floor... but what in the hell could it be? A summon? It's monstrous, whatever it is!

The far wall explodes into fragments and I only catch a glimpse of one giant paw before the room around us caves in.

kxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxs

A/N: Oh, nothing to do with the story, but I've gotta spill this! A few weeks ago I was at the NDK and you'll never believe this... but I met TWO count it TWO actual Kibamaru couples. I mean cosplaying the pairing, not just as friends! How cool is that? The only other pairing I saw from Naruto was LeeXSaku. Granted I could only go for one day. One of the Kibas was really overprotective and wouldn't let his boyfriend take fanservice pictures with a Temari I met up with. Hah. I laughed on the inside. It's okay, happy ending, I happened to be dressed as Shika too, so I did some pics with her. Much fun. However, there was also a guy dressed as Asuma and at the time I thought it was awesome, but if I saw him now I'd probably just start crying...

NEXT TIME:

Rising and falling like the beat of a drum. Calm and soothing as a mother's heartbeat. A hero's breath wavers and he grows weak in the knees. There is no logic to this. A gentle rocking with the waves of the ocean. Calling like a Siren's song. "What a beautiful creature you are." He says. "To think someday I may die at your hand."


	14. Beauty of the Beast

Disclaimer: Shikamaru doesn't belong to me. We all know who he belongs to. snicker

A/N:I've put this off for a couple days... what can I say. Laziness and FF12.

Chapter 14: Beauty of the Beast

"Shikamaru!" Lee cries, lifting a huge chunk of metal from over my head. "Are you okay?"

I glance around. Sure I'm basically unhurt, but what about everyone else? I take a quick glance around to see Sudoko and Ferret helping Fox from the rubble. "Yeah, just bumps and scratches. " I dust myself off.

"Shit! We have a broken arm here!" Ferret shouts.

"It's okay." Fox pulls himself up, right arm favoring the limp left. "I'll run if I get in trouble."

I slap my hands over my ears. What was that sound that... inhuman screech? It was terrible, high pitched but almost a growl, ripping violently int my ears.

"I-it's a dog!" Lee shouts, and I'm so very amazed I could even hear it... he's right. When I whip my head to the side my eyes meet it with full force. The thing is huge! Who could have summoned something like that? Kakashi's ninken are nothing compared to this.

My companions, now all sound on their feet, draw their weapons, very determined looks on the faces of those I can actually see. They should know they can't scratch that thing as they are now! It would take a miracle. "Who has chakra left? I used a lot when the building was still standing."

"It's okay." Ferret says bluntly. "Anyone able come on the offensive. Fox, you gather the other Anbu. We don't need anyone else getting killed today." Fox grunts unhappily.

"That's exactly how Taro-san got killed. I'm not repeating that mistake." I say, stepping forward. "You are obligated to get involved with this. This mission is my responsibility. I don't need another death... hanging over my head." There are too many already. No one is going to save my ass this time. It's me or nobody.

"That's enough, Shikamaru!" Ferret barks. "Anbu is here, and from now to the end, this is our operation. You three could go running home with your tails tucked between your legs for all I care." She pauses and suddenly her voice softens. "You don't have to play leader anymore, it's okay. Fox and I will give you a break. Follow us, if you want to."

I sigh and put a hand on my hip. "And here I never took you as the leader type. But I suppose the surprise is not unwelcome."

Lee stops. "Hold on-you know each other?"

I laugh, shaking my head. "You can't know an Anbu. They don't have identities, remember?"

"C'mon you guys." Fox interupts. "If we keep chatting, that summon is going to tear up half of Wave."

0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0

Making our way toward the city streets proves to be a difficult task, beside having to dodge the natural terrain, the matter of finding the city streets in the rubble is almost above us. We trek through the shattered streets, past several other buildings that met the same fate as the thieves den, but we're still not even close. The beast isn't finished yet. As we run, trying to catch up for all we're worth, it pauses to take hold of a building with it's powerful jaws... and rip it clean off of the ground, only to toss it away into the massive forest no more than a kilometer outside of the town. I'm beginning to wonder whether or not this gigantic thing was summoned on purpose. It seems awfully wild and out of control for a summon. If that's true, the shinobi that summoned it is most likely dead. That would be a bad sign. Our chances against that inu were slim as it was.

We leap from building to building when suddenly Fox stops ahead of us, thrusting out his good arm as a signal to stop. "What?" Lee says, shifting his gaze to the left of the huge beast.

"You smell that?"

I look around. What is he talking about? I can't smell anything. The creature swings its head from side to side as the Anbu team still tracking it once again closes in. That's all I can see. In fact, one of them has a hook and a rope lodged into the inu's shoulder blade, causing another ear shattering howl to shred through the air. The other shinobi follow suit, and without a moment's hesitation the other four hooks are pulling the ragged creature toward the ground. Amazing. It's actually working. They'll have it pinned to the ground in no time... no, that's not it. The dog summon is getting up. One by one the ropes snap under the pressure, all except one, the Anbu holding it flying straight into the air with his weapon.

"We should help them!" Lee shouts as the creature stomps the ground wildly, dust and rock rising with each step.

"I said hold your ground!"

Suddenly the beast stops, gazing eastward at... I can't see anything from here! That's where the dense forest stops, so whatever is drawing its fierce barks-if you can tell that huge rumbling noise is a bark-is hidden there. Wait... I can hear one of the Anbu shouting. "Get back! He'll kill you!"

"Sotoro!" That's--

A huge cloud of smoke rolls up and out of the trees, exposing another dog. This one equally enormous, massive... but a white dog with two heads. I've never seen that jutsu... get so huge. The two dogs instantly clash, though sotoro obviously has the advantage. When the two rear up, all that can be seen is a streak of white and brown for several strikes before the inu latches onto the other's shoulder. Sotoro howls and almost instantly retaliates, though the blood from his shoulder stains so much worse. The second head thrusts forward and puts a vice grip on the inu's throat. There is no howling now, only muffled growls and gurgling chokes, shuddering muscles and bristled fur. The inu kicks its hind legs into the aggressor, sending both crashing into trees and buildings, dislodging enough debris that a few small pebbles knick the exposed skin on my left arm and forehead.

"Whoo! Go Kiba!" Lee shouts from beside me, thrusting his fist sky high and striking a ridiculous pose. What do you do about this guy? I bet he even poses at home alone-whenever he passes a mirror-and he probably has as many mirrors as Neji does.

Wait a-what's this chakra flare behind me? "Wow! Lookit that! Sensei is so cool!" Kiba's genin team? Isn't that a little dangerous? I look down at the three. "Hi Shikamaru-sensei!" Naomi, the little blue eyed girl says, waving her hand frantically.

"Naomi? Yuki? Keisuke? What are you three doing here?"

"Oh, just a mission." Yuki says, folding his hands behind his head, smugly.

"That's obvious, dumbass!" Keisuke snaps, flipping his chin length hair from his face and off of his glasses. "We were on a C rank mission to deliver some mail because the only mailman in Wave was sick when suddenly sensei started sniffing the air like he does sometimes, and next thing we know he's telling us to hike up this hill." To keep them from the fray. Pretty smart, which is why I'm surprised they listened.

The two battling giants downwind suddenly crash in our direction, sending a strong enough shockwave to knock all three genin to the ground. Sotoro lands on top of the other beast, both heads shredding their teeth into the summon's throat, one tearing out a chunk of hair and skin, the other taking with it a good length of the creature's esophogus. Fortunately the blood spatter doesn't reach this far. The summon gargles on its own blood for a few moments, hacking, spitting and writhing before disappearing in a puff of smoke. The three genin, who really shouldn't be seeing this, stare at the gruesome picture for quite a long time. Partially in awe, partially in fear, and probably because it's hard to look away for rookie nins. But none of them says a word.

"How did someone muster up enough chakra to summon that thing?" Fox whispers, still watching intently through the eye slits in his mask.

"Probably popped half a dozen food pills. Can't say that's particularly healthy. But it doesn't matter, now." I take a few steps forward until I meet the sharp angle of dirt that was shaken down when the inu hit and start to slide down on my heels.

"Wait!" Lee again shouts from above. I stop, wasting as little chakra as possible. "Where are you going?"

I scoff at the question. "If you were paying attention at all, you would have noticed the injury. I don't know if it was Kiba or Akamaru, but one of them got bit, and Anbu isn't going to stick around to help them." I notice a change in the genin above immediately, most prominently in Yuki, who scurries over behind me and starts down the hill in a reckless hurry. Keisuke and Naomi aren't far behind, but their pace is a little more conservative. The others, I don't care if they follow or not.

0.0.0.0.0.0.0.0

The two are farther away than I initially thought, but that's not my concern at the moment. At the bottom of the hill I pick up speed, easily catching up with Yuki and matching his pace. The look on the genin's face is akin to frantic. How much does he really look up to his sensei? I've never had an impact like that on a student.

We find Kiba about a hundred and fourteen meters from the hill, propped up against a tree, with Akamaru whimpering at his side. The irregular breathing... hand clasped over his shoulder. He's hurt pretty badly. I don't have any medic supplies left but I'll do what I can. I kneel down beside him and though his eyes aren't open I'm sure he recognizes me. Akamaru makes a strange, almost speech like sound and starts licking a small cut on his master's right arm... but this other one is deep, it needs to be bandaged quick. Hell, he's going to need stitches.

"Shikamaru?" He says quietly, barely moving his lips. "I can't move... my... right scroll pouch... please..." What the hell is he, paralyzed? No, he's just chakra drained. Enough that he's cold to the touch. I snap back to my senses and reach into his vest pouch without reservation. He doesn't have much, but out of what he does have... he must want these food pills. That would make sense. Since he can't move much I pop one into the corner of his mouth, then proceed to do the same for Akamaru.

"You're a pain, Kiba, you shouldn't overexert yourself like this."

He smiles, the color very slowly returning to his face. "What was I supposed to do? No one else... had the means to stop that inu." He's right, ya know. Not even Anbu was handling the situation very well. And with things like A class summons you have to fight fire with fire.

"I guess I don't have to tell you to sit still." He laughs a little. At least he's in good spirits, I suppose. I take a kunai from his leg holster, seeing as most of mine are stuck in a wall or covered in foreign blood, and after carefully removing his vest, I cut the left arm of his shirt from the neckline to the wrist and start peeling it away. The others show up sometime within this step, but are smart enough not to interfere. It's worse than it looked, it's bleeding profusely now that the fibers of the shirt have been parted from the flesh. I pull the shirt completely off now, knowing it would only be a hinderance. "What kind of medical supplies does anyone have?" I ask. "I need bandages and clean water if nothing else."

"You're in luck!" Fox says, reaching into his cloak. "Anbu regulations state that every member is to carry a minor first aid kit." He pulls a small bag containing food pills, gauze, tranquilizers and a needle and thread. Ugh. Crude and sort of inhuman, but it will have to do.

Without a word Yuki runs off, presumably to fetch some water. At least I hope he's smart enough to find a river. "Kiba, your short brunette with the blue eyes..."

"Yuki? Don't worry, he's got a good nose." I nod, even though the gesture is lost since his eyes are still closed.

"Is there anything I can do, sensei?" Naomi whispers, shakily, clutching to Kiba's good arm like a lifeline.

Kiba smiles and opens one eye toward the girl. "Just chill." She nods, but continues to cling nonetheless.

Yuki returns in a heartbeat with a metal cup full of river water in hand. I rip a piece of gauze since it's all I have, and dip it into the water. First things first. I have to clean the wound as best as possible. Digging through the med kit, I push away the tranquilizers, knowing he won't want them, and shoot for the needle and thread. I may not be a pro, but if I can whipstitch it well enough that the bleeding stops, it will do a lot of good for the situation. I motion for Keisuke to dab away the blood as I work, and he does so without further direction. It takes twenty five stitches to completely stop the bleeding, and after the final cleaning I pull out the gauze and dress the wound, though not tightly enough to hinder the bloodflow. It should be good enough to assure a safe trip back to Konohagakure for Tsunade to finish. Hell. I'm not a med-nin. I can only do so much. Apparently more time than I thought passed, and by the time I'm finished Kiba is strong enough to stand unassisted and stagger a few steps. It won't be long before he's running and jumping like the hyper mutt he is. I just hope he doesn't push it. Food pills aren't made for sustaining regular activity, they're just supposed to get him enough energy to save his own ass.

"We should head back." I call to Lee and Sudoko, who are taking a well deserved rest under a patch of shade.

Ferret stops me with a hand on the shoulder. "You should have Kiba-san and the genins go back with you."

A small protest comes from behind. "B-but we haven't finished our mission!" Keisuke shrieks, clutching the mailbag hanging at his side.

"Give it to me." The Anbu says, her hand out and her voice reflecting a smile. "It's no problem... I won't tell." The boy is still hesitant, but gives up the bag in what almost looks like a huff.

"Four more, eh? Troublesome." I grudgingly get to my feet, jutting my hands into my pockets. "Kinda early, but whatever."

"We're leaving already? What about the city?" Lee looks shocked and a little overly concerned.

"I'm sure Hokage-sama is expecting us back. You can set up a volunteer list with her then, right?"

Sudoko steps over to me, setting her hand on her hip. "C'mon, Lee. It's not like it's our fault. It was that fuckin' dog."

Lee still looks downtrodden. What am I supposed to do? I sigh, dropping my head. "It's a pain, but we can ask Tsunade-sama to send more aid and money, maybe even make a mission of repairing the town. But we have to go back in order to arrange it. Sitting around picking up rubble now isn't going to do us or the villagers any good." Lee brightens a little. There, that's enough.

"Hah!" Sudoko's lips turn upward in a wry manner. "Captain's a pushover." And with that she starts walking. I don't know if she's trying to rattle my nerves or what. Oh well. Who cares. I start to walk at a leisurely pace because, if I know any better, our little coterie won't be ready to run for a while. And hell, we shouldn't run into any trouble for a few hours at least after that inu incident. And even if they do decide to get revenge they'll have to get their senses together before they can track us down. That's saying they'll come after us at all.

"We probably shouldn't have to travel very far, today." I say, nonchalantly, not at all hinting that I mean my chakra is mostly spent and Kiba looks like he could keel over again at any minute, despite his tough and hard headed demeanor. "I don't know about you guys, but I don't personally think we should let Kiba pull an all nighter in his condition."

"All right." Sudoko glances up at the sky. "We travel until dusk then."

"I don't know what you're talking about, Shikamaru." Kiba says, prancing up beside me, surrounded by an obvious glow. I don't know what that's all about. You'd think he just got laid or something. "I feel great!"

I shrug. "Dunno why."

He simply grins knowingly and turns from me, darting up ahead to meet with his students. "Keisuke, Yuki to the left! Naomi, you take the back!" The kids run up to their sensei, who jumps abruptly into the trees. "Yahoo! Miss a step and it's twenty laps!"

"Yosh!" All three shout it unison. So that's why they like him so much. Training disguised as playing. How clever, and with Kiba in the lead, those kids are going to have great reflexes. Akamaru follows from the far back, mimicing their movements. Now that I think about it, it's no surprise that Kiba makes a great sensei. He's sort of been one since he was ten, and by now Akamaru probably knows more jutsu than I do. Kiba lands a good distance away, gracefully spinning into a backwards trot and calling out to his students. Naomi and Keisuke land almost simultaneously and with very good form and control, though obviously not as practiced as thier sensei. Yuki lands last, but with equally good control.

"Good! See if you can keep up!" Kiba shouts, laughing almost dangerously before once again disappearing into the forest canopy. The genin happily comply, leaping out of vision after their sensei and his dog. I don't know if I could handle kids like those. I have enough trouble with ten year olds who don't know their asses from their elbows, and if I recall clearly, even the ever patient Asuma ended up prescribed ulcer medication after his first year of teaching me and my old teammates. Up to the very end, I don't think he ever got rid of those ulcers. Well, I guess Kiba's just better with kids than my former sensei. I dunno why that bothers me a little. I'm supposed to be over all that. I mean, lots of people are good with kids. It doesn't mean that... well, um, I don't know. It doesn't mean anything. Not that I care...

Damn. It feels like this trip is gonna suck.

kxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxs

A/N: Erm, not much to say.. next chapter up in a week or so!

NEXT TIME:

How long must this nighmare endure? He asks himself. A nightmare he says, clouding his vision and tainting his heart. A nightmare, haunting his waking world. A nightmare he cannot control. He has no need for that which he cannot control.

But what difference is there... between what is said and what is done?


	15. Dreams or Vices?

Disclaimer: It's not ADD, I swear. If it was some shrink would be prescribing me drugs. Drugs are bad, m'kay.

A/N: So, didn't get much of a response on the last chap... maybe this one will do better... here's a short chapter. It just happened that way.

Chapter 15: Dreams or Vices?

o.o.o.o.o..o.o

Dusk falls suddenly and quicker than I'd imagined, pulling over us like a blanket tossed over our heads. But despite my low chakra, I don't really feel tired. I guess it's not really a surprise. Nary a peep of anything slowed us on our trek.

Well, nothing in the form of an enemy, at least. There was this one instance where we had to chase down Akamaru... let's just say he decided this particular nut chucking squirrel had to die. He started down the WRONG path, yapping and running at an almost unmatchable gait, tracking the little bastard rodent like a heat seeker. Luckily we caught him before he tore it to pieces, but it ended up taking three of us to do it. First, Kiba calling the dog enough to slow him from top speed, me to finally catch him with kage mane when I got close enough, and Lee to tackle him once he was caught. Well... I don't really know if Lee's part was actually considered helping... all it did was make me eat dirt, but you know what I mean. I guess there are worse things than eating dirt. Shit. It's still not on my list of preferred outcomes.

Fortunately, that was really the high point of our first day's travel.

Just to be on the safe side, though, we'll switch to civilian clothes before morning and, well, get Kiba a shirt in the first place. Not that he looks bad trudging around with just the vest. It eccentuates his arms, which are pretty toned, and since he's left it open... okay, so he looks like a ninja from one of those fanservice magazines the kunoichi are always huddled around early in the mornings. I think it's like a pre-work ritual. Drooling over half-dressed ninja... sounds like something us guys would do. Fortunately we don't, okay, I don't know, maybe I just don't. The closest thing I have to a pre-work ritual is the coffee and pastries in the break room every morning. I guess that counts.

But first and foremost, we need a campsite. Somewhere not too hidden, but definitely out of view of the road. We'd sent a scout to scour the surrounding area some time earlier, and hopefully, he's due back any second now.

Speak of the devil. And not a second too soon. Yuki reappears, suddenly, panting like he worked harder than he had too on his little scouting stint. But when he reappears he does so with the sparkling energy only a twelve year old could have. Let me rephrase that... a twelve year old and Lee.

"Hey! Found it! Found it!" He points to the east. "An empty clearing ten or eleven meters from the river!"

"Good job!" Kiba tries to fein enthusiasm, which doesn't seem to be convincing anyone but the boy. Just give it up, Kiba, before you pass out... aaahhh... I told him not to push it. Never listens. "Damn." Kiba continues, stretching out his arms. "I'm ready to call it a day for like forever."

"Settle in the country, pop out a few kids and raise some pigs, eh?" I say, with a tone obviously in jest.

He doesn't laugh, instead shooting me a cold as ice look too quickly for anyone else to notice. "I dunno, maybe I'll retire, become a teacher and sleep the rest of my life away."

"Haha. Very funny."

"I thought so." He grins, almost paling just from that action alone. Hah. I know I could just give him a little shove right now, and he'd land face first in the dirt. But, luckily I'm not that mean... or I'm just too lazy, either way.

"Settle down." Sudoko snaps, mumbling further about 'fucking kids'. As the obvious response, Kiba flips off her backside, which in turn makes me snicker a little. After all, they say men never really grow up. "You won't be laughing when I knock your fuckin' heads together!"

Lee shouts something as he begins pursuit of the cranky hunter, but I can't quite make it out. All I can clearly tell is that Sudoko has picked up the pace a little too much. I stop in my tracks, letting Kiba catch up to me. "Damn. What a pain. You might want to hitch a ride on Akamaru, if he can take it."

He smiles toothily, regaining the bright aura that had been radiating off of him, earlier. "Hmmm, he's pretty tired right now, maybe _you_ should let me ride piggyback, instead."

I put a hand on my hip and let out an unenthused sigh. "Only if you're serious. I don't have a hell of a lot of chakra left, either."

"Really?" His face brightens like a little kid just handed a candy bar. Don't think I quite like the expression.

"You're not serious, are you?"

"I am now! I mean, it's only fair, right? I'd let you ride me anyday." What? No! Bad imagery! Go away. He doesn't mean it like that. I glance back upward when I hear him laughing.

"What?" Asshole.

He stops, or, well, he tries to, his words coming out as chokes in the atempt, his cheeks flushed a brilliant pink. "Nothing, nothing... hey Shika, anyone ever tell you you're cute when you blush?" Dammit. Suddenly aware that I just grit my teeth in a fairly painful manner, I turn away and start off into the forest. If he's well enough to crack those kind of jokes, he can make it to the campsite on his own. That was totally uncalled for. Now I feel all nervous and bothered and I'm not liking it one bit. Fuckin' tease. I hate it. I can hear him leaping through the trees a ways behind me, and dammit... now I can't tell WHAT my stomach's doing. I need a nap. A good, long nap. Or a good thorough screw, but that's not fucking happening.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

As soon as I make it to the campsite the fire's already going, from the look of things, obviously the kids' doing, seeing as Lee and Sudoko are already changed into their civilian clothes and slouched up against a couple of trees. I stop at the site, lightly, but it unfortunately doesn't escape the well trained ears of a certain shrewish red head. "You guys sure did take your fuckin' time." Sudoko snarls, once again spitting over her foot.

"Well, one of you guys could've dealt with the gimp." I say in a flat, lackluster tone.

"Hey!" Kiba pushes toward me, nearly running me over. Akamaru barks in agreement. The two stare at me, one with a doggy glare and the other with a perfectly jutted lip. As to which, I leave that decision to you.

"Whatever. I'm gonna go change." I take only a step before I'm stopped by a small hand. Glancing down I lock eyes with yet _another _glare, this one occupying the face of a slightly irritated, black haired twelve year old.

"Wait." Keisuke says, sharply. "Shirt."

I let out a sigh. "I'll get it to you after I go change."

"No. Now." The boy orders, shifting his glasses with his free hand. Kiba seems to find this funny, but I certainly don't.

"You better do what he says." Kiba says between throaty chuckles.

"A pushy little brat you've got there." The boy narrows his eyes at me, hard. He'd beat the crap out of me if he thought he could win, I swear it.

The boy coughs to push back his swelling anger and speaks very curtly. "It's going to take me an hour to fix and hem up the arms by hand once I cut them off. And that's not including whatever else I'm going to have to change."

Kiba flashes his trademark grin. "Keisuke is really responsible and he puts a lot of pride in his craft."

I raise a brow and start removing my vest. "What craft? Sewing?"

He nods. "Yup. He specializes in physical disguise. Hair, makeup, sewing, all sorts of it. Most of his highest grades were in ninjutsu, especially the ones dealing in elusion and stealth categories. He's not much for taijutsu or genjutsu, pretty average or subaverage I suppose."

I quickly pull my shirt over my head when I notice the boy tapping his foot irritably. Talk about impatience. Must have been another thing he learned from his sensei. As soon as I hand Keisuke the shirt I notice him whip out a piece of white chalk and a tape ruler. He tosses the shirt to Kiba, who, as if by instincts, flips the shirt inside out and pulls it on awkwardly.

Err... that Keisuke boy goes all out. He starts marking up the shirt in various places with his chalk, grunting every now and then when he notices the shoulders are a little too tight, or that the bottom is a little long. What an eccentric kid. Or.. maybe I just don't know anything about artists? Maybe it's normal? Whatever.

I need to change. It's getting kind of chilly, and this whole shirtless thing is getting irritating.

o.o.o.o.o.o.

By the time I return to the campsite the transformation has already begun. The sleeves of my-er-Kiba's shirt are off, the bottom cut short enough to show off a little of his midsection, and he's currently arguing with Keisuke about the proposed neckline. Apparently Keisuke wants to leave it long, but to flare it out a little, while Kiba seems to be opting for more of a scoop or v-cut. I'm not a fashion buff, so I have no say in this. Not my fight. Hell, I'm surprised Kiba even cares. Heh. Maybe he's afraid of getting the retro-Sasuke look. That would be funny.

I step away and towards the fire where Sudoko and Lee are engaged in some sort of mindless prattle. Ignoring it, of course, I lean up against a tree and close my eyes, letting my body slide down toward the ground at its own pace.

Ah, the quirks of natural heating. My eyelids and the tip of my nose are warm, almost so warm that I have to turn away, but the rest of my face feels icy cold. I'm not quite sure if it bothers me... I open my eyes and shift my weight forward. It's a little warmer this way, I guess.

"Cold?" Kiba asks, plopping down in the dirt beside me... his legs crossed and his knee brushing against mine for but an instance before it's gone. Why does he have to sit so close? It makes me so painfully aware of his presence.

"A little."

"Me too. Got no shirt." I turn my head toward him. Yup no shirt. And in the background I can see Keisuke working away, his little hands flying like his life depended on it.

I tilt my head a little, but without any particular intent. "If you're cold, why don't you go cuddle with Akamaru like usual?"

In response he nods his head and points behind me. I turn my head, and sure enough, there's Akamaru, snuggling with a sleeping Naomi and Yuki, awake but very content. "Spot's taken."

"Kinda cute."

He smiles warmly. "Sure are... especially when they're not talking." I don't respond, simply because I don't know how. "Shika?"

I turn. "Hmm?"

He spits out a sigh and rises to his feet. "Ah, nothing. I'll ask you later."

"You should sleep anyway. Chakra depletion shouldn't be taken lightly, you know. And we're going to need all the strength we can get for tomorrow."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

As it turns out, I can't fuckin' sleep. Even with Sudoko's hawk keeping watch and even though I'm surrounded by a camp full of able bodied ninja who could wake at the drop of a pin, I can't sleep. Somehow I don't think safety is the problem, anyway. It seems more localized than that. That's right. I'm not alone, and that's exactly the problem.

I can't believe it just hit me that I'm not the only one awake. Is that why I'm edgy? No, it's not that. This person is familiar. It's just a little case of anxiety, that's all. It has to be.

"I know you're there, ya know." I say to the eyes I feel hovering over me. The figure moves in the darkness, not surprised at all by my discovery.

"I wasn't trying to hide, I swear. I just couldn't sleep, I've been smelling you all night." A familiar voice whispers. I prop myself up on my elbows. My eyes aren't adjusted to this darkness. "It's been driving me nuts." I see a figure approaching me, a singular shadow in a darkened world. I don't feel ill intent from him, all I feel is a... shiver down my spine and a warm breath on my neck. The figure kneels over me. "I almost wish Sudoko's shirt would have fit me instead." An uncertain pause. "Shikamaru, will you answer that question for me, now?"

I nod, glad the dark is hiding the hot flush on my face and skin. Kiba edges up closer, the slightest touch of his lip barely brushing against my ear.

"Are you bored yet?"

kxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxs

A/N: BWAHAHAHA! Reference to chap. 6 here I go! I felt so bad ending it here, but I had to. I think I only have one or two more chapters worth of pre-written material. After that, I guess I'll have to wing it. Good luck, me!

NEXT TIME

Here we define the lines. Here we push the limits. Here we go too far. Here is something not supposed to be. Here is something beautiful. Here is something fragile. Here we look over the precipice. Here we redefine congeniality. Here we walk the lines. Here we cross them. Here we bring beauty to an otherwise bleak and weary world.

In this place, we grow and prosper, even if we can only grow so far.


	16. Flower in the Concrete

Disclaimer: Naruto may not be mine, but Kibamaru is.

A/N: Woot! Plots are for losers! Senseless Kibamaruness!

Chapter 16: Flower In The Concrete

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

I sputter out incoherent words, I don't know what I'm supposed to say, what I'm trying to say... I... all I can do is feel his hands on my shoulders, touching me gently as though I were about to break. He pulls me upward until I feel my body straighten, my muscles tighten... and he does nothing. His hands slide down and away from my body.

"Shikamaru, take a walk with me." Is he asking me? I don't think so. I don't have a say in this. His fingers entangle with mine and are pulling, pulling. My feet step awkwardly with the flow, as if walking through a river, even though there's no water to speak of.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

I don't know how far from camp we are when he stops. Turning slowly toward me, he releases my fingers and languidly drops his hand to his side. I can't see the expression on his face, but I can see his body move, falling back and landing with a crunch like that of dried leaves. He then sits up like he's been folded in half.

"Sit with me. We have to clear some stuff up."

I hesitantly do as instructed, carefully sitting cross legged on the ground. "That would be a nice change." I whisper. "I haven't been clear headed in longer than I'd like to remember."

I can hear him smile, as strange as that may seem. "Good. I was afraid you were going to clam up again."

"Again?" What's he-

"You've been avoiding me, Shikamaru. And I don't mean just avoiding me, I mean like I'm the plague or something. And when you have no choice you just get really cold. I... I dunno. I guess it's really your business and not mine, but..." He pauses, shuffling uncomfortably. "You've... got the wrong idea about me and Shino."

Oh really? Somehow I doubt that. "You two were starting a relationship, right?"

"Dammit." He lets out a long breath through his nose. "The only reason I even tried to date Shino was because of shit you said the night before!" The rise in temperature seems physical.

"Me? Please explain." I cross my arms.

"I-ah! I can't fucking quote you! That was like a month ago!"

"You'd think if it was that important, you would have been able to remember it."

He huffs, leaning in to hug his knees. "Asshole. I'm not a frickin' genius, okay. I'm sorry. I don't have a photographic memory. I just... I remember in feelings, sensory, stuff like that. And-and I remember you said something that really stung me. But I've had some time, ya know. I realized something, it wasn't too hard to figure out, but since I've been on this mission, it's really cemented. What I came here to tell you is that dating Shino was a mistake."

"Didn't seem like it when I saw you after my coma."

"It went against every instinct in my body. We only went on three dates and it was after that last one I started to figure out..." He stops, his voice softening. "Hell, I know I'm an emotional basketcase sometimes, it's not like I can help it. But, ya know, that's _why_ I listen to my instincts. Ever since that night with you, I haven't even looked at any guys. I mean, I've looked at girls, but just girls. I didn't think about it at first but... I think now I'm sure of it. I'm not gay, I.. I just don't think I usually swing that way. That's why dating Shino was a total mistake. I wasn't attracted to him at all, and it just felt wrong, like I was leading him on or something. I guess.. I guess that _was_ what I was doing."

For some reason, that cuts me. Cuts me deep. "Then why the fuck are you playing with me, Kiba?"

I feel him come close enogh that our knees are but a breadth apart. I shirk away a bit. I can feel him, and it's just too much. "There's something about you, I don't know. It's hard to explain, but in my mind and with my body, there's something you have that transcends gender."

"But that's-"

"Don't step on your own toes, man." He stands up, suddenly, though I can still barely tell in this lack of light. "In the morning, things will be different for us. It'll be like a fresh start, leaving all that emotional baggage crap behind us."

I stand up, sluggishly. "Like nothing ever happened? Isn't that called running away from your problems?"

"Sometimes. But I didn't really think we were talking about problems, here. So, I guess, uh, let's not forget, let's just keep moving forward." His hands move toward my shoulders. It feels like he's going to... this is what it feels like before...

"Kiba..."

"Maybe we should get back."

"What about... you're still yanking my chain, aren't you?" He blinks a few times, but I can tell little else regarding his facial expressions. "You asked me... if I was bored. Those were your words."

"ARE you bored?" Why did I bring all this up? Am I really considering this again? I look down, though I doubt he can see it. "Come on then. Don't force yourself."

His hand tugs my shoulder stiffly. That's not... I reach up, my hands guiding their way up his neck to where they know his face should be and I pull him towards me. I don't care, can't stand it anymore. I can't stand feeling him so close to me, having his hands on me... my fingers slowly creep over the hard ridge of his chin, gently probing until they meet the soft, fleshy mounds of skin that compose his lips. I ghost across the skin with my thumb before letting my own lips come in contact with his. I remember how soft his skin is, the warmth of his breath... it just never felt this real before. What kind of horrible nightmare is this that lets me feel something like this? I feel his entire body soften, his hands running down my forearms. This is nice. This is how people are really supposed to apologize. I'm certain of that.

This is the type of apology... you'd give your last breath for.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Somehow the first rays of light are shining right into my eyes when I wake up, piercing my forehead with something very similiar to an ache. But when I pull a hand over my eyes the pain quickly recedes and I'm able to crack open a single eye. I peer out at the early morning world, sight still not focused, but not really awake enough to care. Only thing is... I'm-without a doubt-not the first one awake, here. Never am, I suppose. Especially not when grouped in with a bunch of overzealous jounin.

What does surprise me, though, is that it's not colder at this part of the morning. There's still an inkling of dew on the leaves, a dampness to the soil and--yep, my ass too. I can't believe I slept out here the whole night. Then again, it was stupid of us not to bring a blanket or something... you know... just... in case. But who knew, right?

I let out a huge yawn and pull out the tie I stuffed into my pocket the night before, slowly pulling away my hands to throw my hair up into a quick ponytail. I don't really remember when my hair came down, but it did. Hah. Obviously. I do remember stuffing the damn thing in my pocket, though. The weirdest things that linger in my mind. Well, I guess not much happened anyway. Not that I wasn't a little surprised when he crashed in the middle of a kiss, though.

I let my head thump back against the wide tree trunk behind me, a thin and drawn sigh pushing out of my lips. I sure hope all those 'overzealous jounin' leave me alone for a while, what with being both heavily encumbered and in a very compensating position. Well, at least it looks like my lap makes a good pillow, seeing as a certain Inuzuka seems to be sleeping there quite soundly. Ahh... I don't want to wake him up, but I know I should...nah. I'll refrain for a little while. I don't wanna move, either. Too early. Besides, he needs the rest after yesterday.

Yes, that's my plan. I'll move when he does. I gently touch my fingertips to his hair, pulling away when he emits a slight groan of protest. What a pain in the ass. Fine. I'll leave you alone, bastard.

I shift my legs a little and it's instantly pins and needles. That sucks. I guess Kiba's head is heavier than it feels. He grunts when I shift again, digging his fingers into the fabric of my pantleg. Okay now that's a more than a little bit uncomfortable. "Kiba, you awake?" I hiss.

He motions his hand as if swatting away a slow motion fly. "Mmnn... shh." He says, if you can call that words. A fingertip touches his lip in a shushing manner, and though I find his unintentional patronizing irritating it's still unintentional, so I'll let it slide. "Sleep." He mumbles, switching his hand from his lips to my thigh. I shift so the cap of my skull is against the tree and sigh lazily through my nose. I'm not surprised to find my neck has a pinch in it. Fuckin' horrible place to fall asleep. I pick up a hand and briskly massage the abused muscle, finally giving up when the already troublesome pain starts to sear.

It doesn't take long for Kiba to start stirring on his own, whether it be from the sunlight creeping through the leaves of trees or something different all together, it still doesn't seem an agitated wakeup. He seems to forget I'm here for a moment, pushing up onto his hands, awkwardly, which in turn means pushing down on the flesh of my leg. My arm takes a mind of its own and pushes him off. It didn't hurt that much, but instincts are instincts, and Kiba of all people couldn't contest that. And seeing him sputter when my thumb ends up forcing his upper lip towards his nose is kind of amusing.

"Ah! Shikamaru! Your fuckin' hand tastes like dirt!"

"I'm sure yours does, too." I retort. But before he can retaliate with a fist full of mud I stand up, sharply, the wad of wed soil sailing far closer to my head than is comfortable.

"You want to start a war?" The now wide awake Kiba growls, jumping into a crouching attack stance. Oh, great now I've gotten him riled up. And even if I was completely awake, I doubt he'd let me escape.

He leaps toward me, not fast enough to be a real fighting strike, lunging hands first toward me like he's going in for a tackle. I try to divert him, but as fast as I move I'm still only able to catch his wrists. His body slams me into the tree and he pushes to break free of the little grasp I was able to muster. Like always he's so damn strong. I know he's just teasing me, letting me hold him off as long as he feels like.

His impatience gets the best of him rather quickly and he breaks the hold. A hand pushes up under my chin despite my meager excuse for a defense and shit-my back is crushing hard into the treebark. I almost pull free, but with one fell swoop he shifts his hold and tosses me to the ground. My back hits the earth flat, much to my surprise.

Kiba's hand is still pressed firmly against my chin, tilting it roughly but not violently, enough that the ensuing kiss is neither unexpected or unwelcome. Every time he's getting a little better, and if I'm just his lab rat I can't rightly complain. His body loosens against me, letting all his weight settle. His free hand snakes up my wrist and pushes it up over my head, where his fingers link with mine. Damn. What a nice way to start the morning.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Being back on the road is just as-ahem-thrilling as is expected, even with our pace being much quicker than yesterday. There's still no sign of enemies, or anything interesting for that matter. Perfect, in other words. I, personally, couldn't ask for more. By now if the roads are still clear the only explaination could be that Anbu did a damn thorough cleanup. But still, when I suggested we stay in a defensive lineup, the motion was unanimous. Kiba's nose stays in front with Lee's muscle, the genins in the center where it will be easiest to keep an eye on them, with finally Sudoko's sensitive senses and my shadows taking the back.

After an hour none of the groups can readily see one another, but the red hawk circling above lets us know the others are not far. The flap of its wings is the only sound disturbing the gentle lull of the forest breeze, but I don't mind, seeing as Sudoko isn't one to smalltalk, whether or not this be the time for it... though once in a while she curses at the weather or such things. Truthfully, such a companion doesn't bother me. Hearing her voice confirms that the area is safe of muggers or bandits, and it covers the fact that she's kunoichi awfully well. The lack of smalltalk is probably a honed thing, subconsciously keeping up a sense of alertness. Such things are meerely distractions, and distractions allow for enemy ambush in many traveling situations. It's likely a normal trait of jounin and Anbu level ninja. She's smarter than others think, which is a good thing, at least in a teammate.

"Hey, Shikamaru." She says out of nowhere, catching me a little off guard.

But I don't let it phase me. "What?"

"You know that little genin girl, Naoki or whatever her name is, it's kinda cute, ya know, how's she's got the hots for your boyfriend."

My step falters only once. "What? I don't have a boyfriend."

"Really? So you and that cute brunette are just fuckbuddies? Can't say I blame ya." She sighs, deeply. "It's too bad. He's just my type, too."

"Why's that? I said there's nothing."

She snorts when she laughs, but she obviously isn't embarassed by it. "Lying ass. Ya know, I didn't think anything of it when he smelled like you since he's wearing your shirt, but now that it's both ways it's obvious you two were doing more than talking or holding hands."

"Whatever. You're just nosy like every other woman I know." I stuff my hands in my pockets nonchalantly.

"Nosy my ass. You're just real fuckin' immature. Not like anyone cares these days." Sudoko then picks up her pace, jumping into the trees, though she was specifically told not to go off on her own today. Troublesome. Women. Why the hell do we need 'em anyway? Maybe I shouldn't say that, but damn, on occasion they really piss me off. It's not like me and Kiba really did anything anyway. We just made out for a while-and maybe there was some heavy petting involved, but we didn't do that. I mean, sure, what we did was still irresponsible as hell, being we're both technically still on missions and all. No harm no foul, though...right?

I blow off her blatant disregard of orders and continue to set my own pace. Not like we'll get there any faster if only one of us is playing ninja. I mean really. Even Lee's settled down into(hyper)civilian mode.

Man... it's still a far way from home.

I kick up some dust, carelessly. Sure is weird to hold my chakra back like this. I don't usually find myself on these kind of undercover missions... but I suppose our trail is less evident this way. Except, of course, for Sudoko's little hissy fit. I hope she knows how she's sticking out like a sore thumb. Then again, she probably doesn't care. What a brat.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

When we make it to the small town outside of Wave we don't bother stopping. In fact, we sleep little, eat less than we probably should, and pick up a pace the genins are having trouble keeping up with. There's not reason for the rush really. Well, except maybe anxiety at the front end of the formation. Maybe we shouldn't have put Kiba and Lee in the front, after all.

The gates of Konoha creep up in what feels like record time, and for the first time in three days I feel an awkward sense of dread. From who or where it comes from I can't really discern, in fact, I don't think it's even that particular. It may be an omen of troublesome things to come or--oh, shit. That's right, I get it now. Lee. He said he was going to start setting me up with people. No wonder I felt scared. I dunno, I just can't imagine Lee being any good at the matchmaking game.

There goes my stomach. So much for my clean getaway. This is gonna suck big time. But first I need to get my mission report turned in, my hair cut and THEN off to my impending doom.

kxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxk

A/N:okay... couldn't really find a good place to end this chap, so it ended here.

NEXT TIME

Some say fate is as a river, swelling and eddying, but one direction, steady and straight. Others will call it as the winds, wild and free. After all, you can dam a river, but the winds will never be caught. So what does one do when others try to force a fate upon them? Simple. Call it as the wind.


	17. Set It Free

Disclaimer: I like cheese.

Chapter Seventeen: Set it Free

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Handing in my mission report takes less time than usual, as whatever gods of misfortune laugh at me from their thrones. We had returned almost exactly as it hit seventeen hundred hours. About now the mission room is winding down, but a few hours from closing. And of course the one time I don't get here around rush hour...

I hand off my report to a stocky brunette chuunin I've never met before, though I know I've seen him around, and reluctantly head toward my next destination-the only barbershop I've ever been to, my mother's house.

That too is uneventful. We chat about this and that, mainly missions and the students in my classes I haven't taught in weeks, nothing really detailed. And anything personal I conveniently leave out. Not that she doesn't try to pry, being a woman and all, but I'm pretty good at only telling half the story.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

But you know, after leaving the family prefecture, I feel somewhat less apprehensive. I guess it's a good thing, every once in a while, I mean, not having to think. Not to mention it's amazing what a good haircut can do for your outlook on a day.

Walking down the road to my apartment I happen across Ino and Chouji, who are buying groceries for the Yamanaka family's weekly get together. And probably a thing here and there extra, knowing Chouji's shopping habits.

"Hey Shikamaru, back early?" Ino beams, shifting her weight to her left leg.

"Yep." I put a hand on my hip. "Gah, I almost forgot about today..."

"Yeah, time for the family dinner. Mom gave me a list about a mile long this week."

I nod. "Your parents must be thrilled that the two of you finally got together."

This time it's Chouji who answers, chuckling warmly. "They're already looking for wedding bells."

"Parents." I say, a smile shifting to the corner of my lips.

"I know. Where you heading?"

I shrug. "Home. I've got some instant ramen and a balcony with a great view waiting for me."

"You don't want to join us for dinner?" Ino tilts her head.

"Nah, don't want to intrude. Maybe some other time."

Ino's expression suddenly takes a one-eighty. "Okay, Shika. Spit it out. You're not avoiding Kiba again, are you?"

"No. Lee. He's trying to play matchmaker on me." Chouji laughs in the background. "I made the blatant mistake of telling him I'm single and not looking."

Ino cringes visibly. "Ouch. Tough luck. He's persistent, I'll give him that, but as for-"

"There you are!" I too find myself cringing as I catch the sound of that overzealous voice.

"Oh...hi, Lee..." My head drops a little. Of course, he has to catch me in between things, the only time I can't really see him coming and take cover. Ugh... troublesome.

"I went to your apartment, but you weren't there, yet," My friends back away slowly. Traitors.

Ino waves a hand, grabbing onto Chouji's arm like she's ready to make a run for it. "Uh, sorry Shikamaru, we've, uh, gotta get this stuff back to my dad or he'll pitch a fit... ya know..."

I let out a long sigh. Yes, what good friends you are. I can't believe they wouldn't even stick around to soften the blow. Not like they'd have to go with or anything. So much for loyalty. "Lee, please, not now. I don't feel like dealing with this."

"Nonsense!" He exclaims, giving me a firm, slightly painful, slap on the back. "Now, come on! Time to get you ready for your big first date!" And let Lee give me a makeover? Oh gods...

"Eh-eh, could you stop tugging me, please?"

"Only if you stand up and walk!"

"Can we just skip the whole getting ready thing? Or just not do this at all? I don't like dating, its troublesome, gets in the way of-"

Lee stops, putting his free fist to his chest. "I made a promise and I will do whatever it takes to see it fulfilled!" Oh, this is freakin' hopeless. I roll my head once, and the gesture is returned with a sharp tug. Ya know, I bet if I tried to pry his fingers off my arm at this point it would be like pulling out of a crocodile's jaws. I let my arm go limp and sigh hopelessly as I get to my feet. I suppose the only thing left is to get it over with...

Damn it.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

For being a blind date, Lee sure does want to go all out. Flowers, dressy clothes, and a fancy restaurant I really shouldn't be trying to fit in my budget. I mean hell, on my teaching salary, I barely make enough to cover rent. At least I have a stockpile of instant ramen at home, and the mission I just finished got me a little cash... I can probably stretch it out for two weeks or so. So what, I'll probably lose a good five pounds and be pretty cranky for a while... if I just pay for her dinner, don't get anything for myself and cut back on a few little things I can probably afford it... gah, budgeting. Pain in the ass. Why is my life so freakin' complicated? What happened to simplicity?

I shift my eyes to see Lee staring right at me with a big grin on his face. How unnerving. I rest my chin on the palm of my hand and flatten my eyes in boredom. "What?"

"They're here!"

I sigh and shift my head so I'm gazing at the wall. I feel a slight vibration in the bottoms of my feet as a chair scoots out beside me. Now I guess I get to see who I'll be rejecting/rejected by tonight. I tilt my head back, nonchalantly. Hmmm. This is a surprise. Hinata. Lee probably thought 'oh, she's cute quiet and smart'... I guess it could be _worse_, heh. But funny thing is that's exactly the opposite of everything I seem to be attracted to. Doesn't that figure. Try to match personalities and end up with a big strike. But how could Lee know that if I ever dated her we'd sit there in awkward silence for hours and never progress? I mean... really.

Well, I guess I'm getting it over with, so as annoying as it is, it really really could be worse... I suppose. When the waiter comes over, I throw caution to the wind you could say and actually decide to order a small bowl of soup. Which, of course is the cheapest thing on the menu. Sakura has the nerve to give me 'the look', but I simply flash her back my usual bored expression.

It's going to be a long night... I know exactly how it will end, too...

_The least I can do is walk her home when Lee and Sakura disappear into the night and silence falls... again. Complete utter silence. Not that we said a word during the date, but at least then our companions did enough talking that it wasn't as blatantly obvious. We walk at a good, casual pace, the soft scraping of my feet mismatched by the light almost inaudible thudding of hers. Question is, how do I break the silence and spit out what I have to?_

"Shikamaru?"

"Hm?" I'm yanked from my thoughts... To tell the truth, I don't even know what Lee just said... but I'm not going to try and fake it, either. Haven't been listening for who knows how long.

"You okay?"

I smile. "Yep. Just daydreaming, nothing unusual."

Sakura flashes me 'the look' again. Man is this starting to pick at me. "Shikamaru, you're on a date, be respectful and keep your elbow off the table."

I do as instructed, but not without a groan. "You sound like my mother."

Her eye seems to twitch with my words. "Well it's not my fault you're acting like a five year old!" Yes, still a spitting image of my mother in bitch mode.

"Guys! Guys! Guys! I appreciate your youthful fire, but let's please get along! We're all friends, here!" I shrug. Wasn't trying to start anything, anyway. Not my fault Sakura is PMSing.

Food arrives only a moment later, the various dishes moved from their place on the cart to their proper position on the table.

"It's always the same thing..." Sakura says, after pausing to put her hands together and bow lightly to the waiter. "Maybe this was too soon. I mean, you two just got back and..."

"Nonsense!" Lee says as if spouting some sort of absurd proclaimation... like he usually does. "Youth never rests! And we all know there's no time like the present!"

I sigh, turning my head away. "I'm usually at home sleeping by now."

Lee's eyes go wide, which I realize is sort of redundant, but whatever. "What? It's barely past dark!"

"Yeah, well I sleep a lot. Especially after missions."

This statement is followed closely by an awkward pause of conversation before an equally awkward voice pipes up to break it. "I-it's okay. I already promised... Shino and Kiba we'd go to the-the fireworks display tonight." Hinata shuffles in her chair, like she wants to say something more but thinks better of it.

"Oh, that's right. Tonight at midnight the fall festival starts!" Sakura smiles, her face glowing ever so slightly from the excitement. "We should go. You want to, Lee?"

"I wouldn't miss it!" A fist thrust exuberantly in the air before he remembers where he is and slides back into his chair with an apologetic look brushing across his face. Not that everyone in town wouldn't be expecting it. Doubt anyone even noticed. But immediately, as if to heal the wound, Lee smiles and flashes his nice guy pose. "How about it, Shikamaru?"

Again I find myself shrugging. "Eh. I've seen fireworks before. I can miss it."

"What a party pooper." Sakura frowns with the statement, looking somewhat like a spoiled child that doesn't get her way.

"It would be too troublesome to hike all the way out to the lake, is all. I can probably see them through my bedroom window, anyway."

Lee's eyes glitter back at me in a way that is both disturbing and a little frightening. I don't wanna know. I really don't. I glance up at the clock. It's already past twenty three. Time sure does fly some days. Though I'm usually not so lucky.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Half an hour passes without a hitch, and everyone simply says their goodbyes... quickly and with a minimum of theatrics from the king of drama.

When we exit the door of the restaurant, Shino and Kiba... and surprisingly Neji, are there to pick up Hinata. It's kind of a relief that I won't have to walk her back to the Hyuuga mansion, or to bring up the fact that she was obviously only on this date as a favor to Sakura. Saves me one hell of a headache. But it's okay. Not like I've ever clicked with Hinata on any sort of level. I mean, we say we're friends, but I couldn't tell you the last time we had a conversation or even hung out.

I stroll home lazily, and even a few steps down the street I can already hear the distant pop of fireworks and the faint low pitched hum of a crowd cheering on the edge of earshot. So of course I head the opposite direction of the noise, through a street that is barely populated to my home. And even when I reach my apartment steps I can hear cheering from up above. Doesn't surprise me. A lot of people prefer to watch from the rooftops instead of making the trek almost across town. It's all right. I can sleep through it. Done it before, will do it again.

I don't know what it is, exactly, but fireworks just aren't as spectacular as they used to be. When I was little I never would have missed this, but as time went by I got older and lazier, finding more joy in a shogi board than any displays or festivals. You'd think living a ninja's life, constantly on the edge of death that such things would be welcome distractions-reminders that there's still life outside of battle, but I don't know. Maybe something inside me just doesn't accept that knowledge. But taking such things for granted? Nah. They've just gotten repetative is all. The way I see it, sleeping and lounging around as much as I can is the ultimate expression of living. When you lay around doing absolutely nothing, only then can you truly appreciate the fact that you exist. With no distractions, existing becomes a beautiful thing. When you live life like there's no tomorrow, hustling and bustling doing all that, you never get to really settle down and realize that you're alive.

So, well, I know I won't be ready for death when it decides to come for me, but if I live like there's no tomorrow every day... one day I'll be right.

But it's not like I wouldn't have gone had Ino or Chouji asked me to go. I guess when push comes to shove I don't like to go it alone, and I don't like to be an extra wheel.

I climb up the stairs with a lagging step, and when I reach my house I unlock the door and push it open, listlessly. Pretty tired. I reach my room at what seems a snail's pace and make my way to the bed, kicking and pulling off my clothes along the way, leaving them wherever they decide to fall. Tomorrow the actual festival starts. That's a nice thought. That means my vacation away from my classes is extended a little longer... and I've got time to sleep in.

o.o.o.o.o.o..o.o.o.o.o.

"Wake up, sleeping beauty." A voice cuts in from nowhere, snapping me from sleep in the worst possible way. I blink a few times, but the sunlight doesn't seem to be hitting me in the eyes like it normally would. So when I turn toward the window, I'm not overly surprised to find a shinobi wearing the signature white and red mask of Anbu hanging upside down from my windowsill. This early? It seems like something the Hokage would do. I wave the man away and pull my pillow over my face before rolling onto my side. "I've got a message for you, from Hokage-sama." He drops lightly into the room. "You should really lock your windows at night." Ignore. "Here's your-what the?"

I pull my sheet up further. "I should have warned you. Don't come in through the window. It's trapped." I sit up slowly, lazily rubbing the sleep from my eyes before glancing toward the window. Wrapping the sheet up around my waist and walking up beside the man, I can't help but smile. "That's why you knock first."

"Just let me out." Hah. He sounds a little irritated, now. I place my hand on the wall beside the window, and slowly a purple seal starts to appear. It glows for only a moment before shattering in something akin to an electric glitter. "So that's what my son was talking about." The Anbu rubs his wrists briskly, obviously glad to have his mobility back.

"Yeah. I put shadow snaps in the windows and door in my classroom too. Less troublesome that way. So what message do you have for me?"

The Anbu whips out a scroll from who knows where, poofing out the instant my fingers wrap around it. I toss the scroll on my bed, then head to my bureau to find some clothes. Knowing Tsunade, I'm going to have to get out of the house as soon as possible. So much for those extra hours of sleep I was going to get today. I unroll the scroll with a single flick, and of course it's a mission. I'm supposed to... escort the ambassadors from Sand back home? Hah! This has got Temari's stink all over it.

Eh. So what. They probably got their pick and choose from all the off duty ninja. Ten Ten will probably be there, and one or two others. It's a pain, sure, but at least it's better than your typical escort mission. If we run into trouble we won't have to be protecting defenseless citizens. It sucks to try to worry about someone else's ass when you're trying to save your own. But since that's not the question and we aren't supposed to worry about supplies, per instruction, I can still go outside and relax for a few hours before I have to head for the gate.

I close the door behind me, sharply, but when I look down the stairs all I see is trouble. "Lee, please give it up. I'm not in the mood."

Lee simply grins and gives me the thumbs up. "Not to worry, my youthful friend! I was just looking for a followup on last night!" I start down the stairs, dropping all hope and leaving a sigh linger in the air. "Date number two is almost a sure fire!"

"Look, Lee. I appreciate you trying and all..."

His expression faintly drops. "You didn't like her?"

"What I'm trying to say is, well Hinata's just not my type, and I'm not really hers. And, you don't have to worry about me, I can find a date on my own. Besides, it was pretty clear she was only there as a favor to Sakura. No hard feelings, man."

Lee stops to think for a moment. "Well, I can find someone else, I'm sure of it! I'll get you another date in no time!"

Gods, does he even listen? I cross my arms. Frustrating. "Lee, I have a mission today. I don't have time for this and I'm well... kind of almost seeing somebody already."

"What!" Lee seems taken aback momentarily. "This is wonderful news! A little sudden... but" He looks down, thoughtfully thumbing his chin. "What a strange thing... did I succeed, or does this count as a failure?"

I assume that tone is 'Lee under his breath'. "Neither, I guess." I shrug.

"Well then I wish you and your mystery woman the best of luck and..." Something about the springtime of youth and everlasting something.. he runs off quickly enough that I can't quite make it all out. But okay. I get the point. But why did I go and tell Lee something like that? Me and Kiba aren't... are we? No, he said he doesn't really like guys, he just likes messing around... curious, I don't get it. Guess I never will. I lean against the railing and spill my lungs in a single sigh. Some days... I should just stay in bed.

I push myself away from the rail, even if I don't want to anymore, and start walking.

kxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxk

A/N: Progress? Maybe? No? I don't know what I'm doing anymore.

NEXT TIME:

Like a wheel time rolls on, like a warrior taking no prisoners. Where we begin and where we end, sometimes it is hard to diffrentiate, and often when we figure it out its too late. But to begin at all, that's the real beauty of it. To understand, that is the goal. We trek on, doing only as we can, and only what we will. Know no bounds. Press forward despite the enemies faced. Continue to live life on this wheel. Crush not those that lay before you.

And remember the importance of this statement. 'Collect no moss...But be careful, or you may not collect anything at all.'


	18. It Begins

Disclaimer: I hate the radio.

A/N: This took much longer to re-write than planned… not that I lost the original or anything… cough… I also had to write this version from the computer at my parent's house… my internet hasn't worked so well as of late.

Chapter 18:It begins…

As I make my way to the crowded streets past my house, and as I do, all of the resolve I previously held deteriorates into nothing. Damn. To think I'd lose my will to be lazy. All I can think of now is getting to the gates, getting out of Konoha, and getting back. I'm even willing to put effort into it if I have to this time. Maybe it's the extended leave from classes making me so antsy, or maybe all this added stress is finally making me go insane. I dunno. I don't want to know. I just want out.

But, as is customary, I've got to make one side trip before the inevitable. I think Tsunade-baba will understand. I doubt anything of significant importance would be going around the Hokage tower at this time of day, anyway.

Leaping from rooftop to rooftop at a pace quicker than casual, but far from breakneck, I aim directly for the tall building that sits right between the city and the rising of the sun. I expect my arrival will be a bit of a surprise. Okay, not quite shocking though. Nothing shocks Tsunade-sama anymore. Not after dealing with Naruto and the likes for so many years.

I stop at the foot of the tower, unsettling a cloud of dust because I really just don't care. Twenty years and it never seems to lose its enormity. Even as I got bigger and everything around me seemed to shrink, this place seemed completely untouched, like it grew with me. Impossible, I know… though I ask myself what impossible even is anymore. I cross the five feet that lie between me and that huge door and turn the knob briskly and with purpose. At least that's how it feels.

The hallways inside are dark and empty. Somewhat like a morgue… sterile tendrils creeping from the edges of something that's completely unseen, but obvious even to the most dimwitted passerby. Granted I know where it comes from, but that kind of place is far out of my domain and definitely something I'm just fine without. I let the shiver down my spine straighten my back and turn sharply to the left. How anyone could be a medical nin, I'll never know.

It's almost a relief when I come face to face with the half shrouded, half asleep forms of Izumo and Kotetsu, first watch having not started but an hour or so ago. How they've done such a boring job for almost ten years… ack. I wave until the latter notices my presence, his alertness awful slack for a ninja of his abilities, and push back my irritation with a cough.

"Oh, shit, Shikamaru-kun," Kotetsu squeaks before shoving the door behind him open. "I, uh, didn't see you there."

I groan to myself and step past the men with two large steps. "Wasn't sneaking," I murmur.

Like everyone else in this damned place, when I reach the Hokage's desk she's already passed out on her paperwork, and unsightly amount of drool pooling on a hopefully unimportant document, pretty much destroying any of the words that might have been printed on it. But unlike the two doormen, Tsunade is quicker to wake on her own accord, though her response is just as groggy. Of course, I can't understand quite what that response is.

"Tsunade-sama, I've reconsidered." I say bluntly, hoping to pique her interest.

And yes, it works like a charm. "Wh-what?" She stutters as she tears herself fully into the waking world. "Reconsidered? What? Is this about the-"

"Yeah." I cross my arms. "I guess it's about time and all. I wouldn't want to break a promise now, would I?"

She sits up straight, this time. "I though you were waiting for two or three more years." This curious inquiry doesn't go unnoticed… though I seriously consider pretending not to.

"I figure the missions are coming whether I want them or not so… you know what they say."

"You never fail to surprise me." She says with a smile.

"If you kill me before that kid makes it to thirteen, I'll haunt you for the rest of your life." And while my tone suggests the same flat and bored tone I usually use, I'm sure she knows I'm dead serious this time.

"Wait a minute, Nara. That's your job! You can't blame me if you can't keep yourself alive!" And yet she jests. What a bitch… and you think I'd be used to this kind of crap by now.

"Yeah, well whatever." I shrug. "Just move me up, will ya. I can't really stay long."

"I know, I know." She says with a bright and far too exuberant smile. "I sent out the mission, you know. And speaking of which, your mission should run about… two weeks total. So how about next month?"

"Hell no." That response, however, is not what she was looking for. A dumbfounded expression crosses her face. But before she can spit out any of her absurd comments I pick up my hand. "Not that soon. I can't do it before the school year ends."

The look on her face is replaced by a knowing smirk. "How could I contest that? You've become so responsible, not wanting to leave your students so late in the year. Shikamaru, I bet your father would be proud."

Yeah, probably. But I have a feeling that pride would be pretty short-lived. I curl my lip indifferently. He's always wanted a son to follow in his footsteps, yeah, but once he finds out he's probably outta luck when it comes to heirs he'll shit bricks… and all that pride comes to a screeching halt. Not that I see myself _necessarily_ spending my life in a same sex relationship, but as I've said before… if my choice in female companions continues to looks so fuckin' bleak… well… I have a feeling I'll be living alone for quite some time.

"As much as I love my dad, I'm not doing this for his respect." The air around me sparks with an inkling of anxiety. "His respect is hard to earn, and a very fragile thing. I learned long ago to focus on things more important than those that came before me."

"Almost a spitting image…" Tsunade says within a chuckle. "Though you definitely don't smoke as much."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

When the gates of Konoha finally fall beneath my range of sight the sun has already crept far enough into view that the entire sky is illuminated with the vivid blue of late morning. There aren't any clouds lining the sky, however, which makes for a good clear trip, but a pretty boring view, if you ask me. I pan my eyes over the five ninja waiting at the gate curiously. Well, I wasn't aware I was late or anything. Not that it matters now.

"Shikamaru! You're late!" Naruto shouts, snapping a finger in my direction firmly enough to stop me in my tracks. But it only stops me for a moment before I let out a defeated sigh and push his hand away as I walk past.

"Geez, Naruto. Don't you know it's rude to point?" He doesn't respond. Not that I really expected him to. "Isn't Gaara supposed to be here?"

"Went ahead." Temari shrugs. "You know how impatient he gets. I'm sure we'll catch up, now that the whole team is assembled."

The whole team, huh? Eh. This has Temari's stink all over it. Naruto I expected, and even Tenten was a give in… but when I notice Kiba has been thrown in the mix, what can I do but be a little suspicious? She's a devious one, that Temari, and I know she has a certain way of getting what she wants. Probably held Kankuro in a chokehold until he gave in.

I guess it'll be a good conversation starter if we get bored along the way… insert inner groan.

And without much more than an equipment check we start off. After all, there's no point wasting words. I'm sure enough word wasting will be done on the trip's lows.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Less than six hours into the trip we stop for the first time. Gaara still out of reach, it feels like our progress has been nil. But our luck is about to change. What else could it mean when Akamaru stops in his tracks, brisling the hairs on his back aggressively and barking in that imposing bassy tone? Everyone's stances stiffen up a little… everyone save Kiba, who listens intently to a pissed off sounding dog like they're having a friendly chat. I guess living with some of those animals he does, Akamaru would be the least of your worries.

One time when we were younger a few of us were over at his house for a sleepover, and when I haplessly wondered into the dark hallway trying to find the bathroom I had the scare of my life. The biggest, meanest fucking dog you've ever seen came outta nowhere and I guess I was crossing somewhere I shouldn't have been, because next thing I know I'm pinned under the son of a bitch and I can feel his teeth on the side of my cheek. The only reason I didn't get killed that night was because Kiba's mother has quick reflexes and she had her hand right in the beast's mouth, yanking back that strong jaw like it was nothing. Kiba later told me that's why he never goes near his mother's room at night… I guess even family members weren't an exception… and hell. I never figured out which one of their mutts that big ass fucker was, but truthfully, I don't care. I never spent the night over again, either. All parties and such were thereafter moved to Chouji's house, where the biggest danger is his mother trying to feed you donuts at three in the morning.

"He found Gaara." Kiba says just above a whisper. "But he's not alone."

"That was quick," Temari growls, whipping her fan over her shoulder and grinding it into the ground with a loud crunch, "I didn't think they'd have the balls to take us inside Fire Country borders."

"Good news then. These guys aren't too bright." If we don't take them out quick, border patrol would catch whiff and join the battle. Odds are on our side, for once.

We take to a sprint, following Akamaru's lead to the area where he caught Gaara's scent. Not far off the beaten path we start to hear the scuffle, and when I take a quick glance at the sky I see a blast of sand rise momentarily from the scene. This battle is just beginning. Our timing might be a little off, but not enough to make significant difference.

The forestry is still dense when we finally meet up with our seventh and final companion, and just as we expected, about more than three dozen enemy ninja have the Kazekage surrounded, followed closely by a pair of larger-than-your-average snakes. Gaara has one hand outstretched, and he looks cooler than stone, surrounded by four equally emotionless sand clones.

We start our attack with a barrage of weapons that spreads the expanse of the battleground, striking down anything in visual range. Those that aren't caught off guard by the tactic dodge behind trees to evade the blow, but six ninja are taken out by the first wave. Tenten stays back as the second wave, and the rest of us spread out. There isn't a lot of sunlight for this battle, but there's enough. If I can catch eight of the remaining ninja with Kage Mane, Tenten can handle the stragglers while Gaara and Naruto, being the strongest, handle the snakes. Kiba, Kankuro and Temari would be left to wipe out the captured shinobi and whoever else gets in their way. I hope they catch my plan, since I haven't had time to give out orders. I mean… it's just the common sense of playing to our strengths, right?

I do my part without another thought, at the last moment capturing nine of the shinobi instead of the eight I calculated. From the corner of my eye I see Naruto split into at least five Kage Bunshin. We can do it this way too.

"Naruto! Keep on the mobile ones!" I shout. That will be my only vocal order, this time. I can't keep up with that many punches without getting myself pummeled in the process.

By this point, very little of the battlefield is visible to me. All I can see is the heads of the snakes and a whole lot of yellow and orange.

"Shikamaru!" I hear Temari shout from the sidelines. I snap my head in her direction right as she leaps onto a sturdy tree branch and fully extends her fan. She's not messing around here.

"Ready?" Kiba shouts from a tree branch directly ahead of Temari's, and it's only then I realize he's gone through with his usual Beast Man Transformation skill. I watch with curiosity as Akamaru and Kiba start to spin. This looks like low level jutsu… and it makes me wonder what's up their sleeves. Temari cocks her fan…

The blast that follows is nothing if not immense. If I don't let go of my jutsu, something very bad is going to happen. I throw myself backward and cover my head when I get the full picture. Temari has actually used her wind attack on Kiba and Akamaru! But instead of injuring the two, it seems the force of their spin against the wind has propelled them forward at what couldn't be less than three times their usual speed. They hit the ground with a hard bounce, cratering the earth with the force and shoot forward like a bullet. The two seem to bounce back and forth, feeding from each other's kinetic engergies as they plow through everything, earth, trees, everything. Not even Naruto's Kage Bunshin escape the move's wrath. How they can even remotely control the path of destruction is far beyond me.

When the path clears I make a break for the Kazekage, knowing that at this point the severely reduced numbers of enemy ninja will cause desperation, and if the Kazekage is their target, the best thing I can do right now is defend his blind spots. Gaara barely risks a glance from the corner of his eyes as I approach, but that's how it should be.

"I tire of this." He says simply as he unfolds his arms and forms a seal. Instantly some of the sand tossed about the ground begins to rise and spin, starting at a very close proximity. As the sand gains speed and density, the whirlwind moves away from us, and as we stand in the eye of the storm I start to hear the damage without. Chunks of wood and rock start appearing in the whirlwind, and maybe other things, I don't want to know.

The sound is utterly deafening, and it's hard not to clap my hands over my ears and shrink to the ground, but I manage to hold out, kunai still firmly in hand.

The shriek of a snake pierces above the rest of the noise, and as it forces its head through the tornado I do nothing but grip my weapon tighter. I don't know how such a creature could have the strength to be doing this, but the instant I catch sight of it much of its skin has already been shredded away, streaking the whirlwind around us with red ribbons before being yanked back into the wind. By now the thing must have poofed out of this plane but the sight of that, grating away the flesh of that creature… that's gonna stick with me for a while.

So by the time the winds subside, it was no surprise to find we were surrounded by a whole lot of nothing, trees, rocks, people… no traces of any of it.

"What the hell!" We hear from behind, in Kankuro's direction. But when I turn my head it seems Naruto was making all the noise. But he looks just fine, if not pissed off in that rather comic Naruto sort of way. Whatever jutsu he used to defend himself looked to have worked as well, judging from the small, round patch of grass that lies directly under his feet. Gaara says nothing in response, but there doesn't seem to be any tension really, not unless you count that silly look on Naruto's face as tension.

"I'm tired." The Kazekage suddenly says through a sigh as he begins to walk back toward the path. I let my shoulders drop.

"You want to make camp now?" Temari inquires from a tree a ways away, dropping down as if unfazed by the previous events.

Gaara stops for a moment, looking over his shoulder. "A little further. Then we make camp."

That sounds great. Even though I'm far from exhausted, I'm real fucking tired of saving my ass from my own companions. That kind of thing can wear on a guy. I sheathe my kunai and start to follow after the Kazekage. After all, that was the basis of the mission, was it not? "It shouldn't be hard to dodge their reinforcements for the night." I say, calmly. "Well, hopefully."

Kxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxskx

A/N: This was written on a different program than previous chapters, so I don't know how long it is in comparison. Oh well.

NEXT TIME: Everyone knows about the four elements. Wind that is wild and free. Fire that is unstable and destructive. Earth that is sturdy and unbreakable. Water that is clear and adaptive. All have their strengths, weaknesses, and their own unique reasons that draw us to them.

But sometimes, our attraction connected to memory, rather than the element itself.


	19. Water

Disclaimer: I got nothing.

A/N: Kankuro-ness herein for you know who you are! Oh yeah… but beware of Kankuro OOC-ness too. I don't really know how to characterize him…

Chapter 19: Water

We move back toward the path a ways, following it from the brush until we find a suitable campsite. Fortunately, with so many bodies, making camp is a quick task, and for the most part, painless. We decide against a fire for the night, instead relying on our rations and the meager amount of bedding brought along. It won't be so bad, except maybe for whoever is on watch duty, but the falling sun isn't really that cold yet, and it will probably be a while before any of us are ready to sleep.

But the sun drops fast like it always does, letting in that strange night chill that isn't quite freezing, but seems to creep into the places you don't want cold air to go.

I dunno, I suppose if I'd been paying attention, I would have noticed that Gaara and Naruto took off like twenty minutes ago. But the rest of us guys were just sitting here on a log in front of where the fire would have been, anyway, saying almost nothing. Temari sits across from us on the ground, patching up a pretty good sized hole in her fan from the previous skirmish. She also says nothing.

"Well this is exciting." Kiba mumbles sarcastically, propping his cheek up on his palm and reaching down to pet the oversized ninken at his feet. Akamaru lets out a satisfied dog-sound and thumps his tail on the ground.

"You know what, guys?" Kankuro turns his head toward the oh-so-bored Kiba and smiles. Kiba's eyes reflect interest, but he doesn't move otherwise. "I think I recognize this area. Coming through here a few years ago I found a natural hot spring about… a kilometer and a half that way." He throws his thumb westward. "If you guys wanna take a hike."

"Shit yes!" Kiba exclaims, jumping to his feet.

"Sure, why the hell not?" I pause in the middle of standing up. Should I? Ah… damn. Couldn't hurt, I guess. "Temari, you and Tenten coming, too?"

She scoffs, not lifting her head from her work. "Not if that means seeing my brother naked." She cuts a thread with her teeth. "You guys go do your male bonding or whatever, and maybe I'll join you when Kankuro's out of the picture."

Kankuro simply shakes his head. "C'mon guys, I still remember the way."

I straighten my back and obediently follow the swing of Kankuro's arm. Kiba jumps in front of me, and Akamaru, as if attached by a string follows, nearly knocking me over by wind pressure alone.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o..o.o.

It's not far to Kankuro's secret spring, we soon realize, but I still find it odd that such a spring exists out here. Most nowadays are manmade or have been fashioned into resorts. Hell, we're probably trespassing on someone's private property or something. But you know what, I don't care right now.

Akamaru is the first one in, leaping from a rock like a little puppy, soaking everything within range. It's cute, I'll admit, and I can't be too upset about it. So, I'll have to lay my clothes out to dry instead of folding them up.

"I wonder why nobody's turned this place into a spa…" Kiba suddenly blurts, putting words to my thoughts… which he strangely seems to do a lot. No wonder he used to practically speak for Hinata back in our genin days. He must have some sort of sixth sense for it I guess.

"About that." Kankuro lets out an almost nervous laugh. "You know how I told you I found it last year? Well it sort of had a seal on it and I figured out how to temporarily deactivate it…"

I raise an eyebrow. "Then why didn't anyone else try and deactivate it?"

"It's a Suna seal. They probably couldn't do it without a sand ninja, and remember we're still in Fire Country…"

Kiba hums inquisitively as he slides into the water. "So it's some kind of secret sand rest stop. Weird place to put it."

"It's probably been here since the war ten years ago, maybe even longer."

I cross my arms. "A tough seal to last that long. Couldn't be a chakra seal."

"That's why I think it might have been here longer than ten years. The only person I know who could construct a permanent genjutsu seal was Suna's Sandaime. I don't know of anyone else that he taught it to before he died, either."

"Logically, wouldn't he have taught one of you?"

He sighs and we both begin to follow our companions into the water. "You'd think so. I dunno, maybe he taught Gaara or Temari, but he sure as hell didn't teach me."

"Well, either way someone will probably deconstruct it and learn it's secrets someday, so it's not a lost jutsu."

"You're right," he settles down deeper into the water, "Sounds like a good way to spend my next vacation." He turns, pulling something out of his pack. "I shouldn't let it end up in the wrong hands."

Kiba shifts. "Hey, Kankuro, what's that?"

"Oh, this?" The puppeteer smirks, flashing a strip of cloth and an unmarked bottle. "Temari's special cleanser. I do take my makeup off sometimes, you know."

Kiba smiles a little over eagerly. "Really? So you mean you don't have clown tattoos, then?"

"Fuck off. I don't believe in facial tattoos. They're disgusting." Kankuro calmly starts to blot some clear liquid onto his strip of cloth.

"What's that supposed to mean!" Kiba leans back, sprawling his arms across the rocks. Ugh. I could see this getting really ugly.

"I mean, how often do you have to get stuck in the face with needles to patch those things up? Seems like an unnecessary hassle, not to mention kind of unhygienic." Kankuro then starts to wipe away the almost impenetrable layer of makeup on his face.

"Well, for your information, I only get them touched up every five years, and since when is putting on makeup every day NOT a hassle? I bet your face looks like the Suna countryside under all that crap."

"You obviously don't appreciate the artistic element of the puppeteer."

Kiba shrugs, pausing to splash water back at Akamaru as he paddles past. "So? I never really have been the artistic type. I can't even draw a-" The sentence is choked off with a sputter. I glance over and see Kiba desperately trying not to break into a laughing fit, instead turning bright red and releasing controlled giggles between breaths.

"What the hell's so funny?" Kankuro snaps, tossing his washcloth right at Kiba's face, though it's easily dodged.

"I-I've never seen you without makeup!" And of course that's all the dog boy can spit out before breaking into laughter again. But this time the one turning red is Kankuro, who quickly puts the other man in a tight headlock.

"Oh yeah? Well people have to look at your ugly mug all the fucking time!" The two wrestle for a few moments, which probably looks far more intimate than it is due to lack of clothing. I close my eyes and pull my knees out of the way just in case they decide to get any more intimate.

"You're asking for it!" Kiba shouts with a hard splash. I don't pay attention to what happens next, but there's more splashing, a little fussing, you know, same idea. The thing that changes the situation is when I feel a hand on my ponytail, which catches me enough by surprise to yank my head down. My eyes snap open and I find myself face to face with two catlike black pupils. "You're leaving yourself open for attacks," Kiba says with a sly smile. "And your hair is such an easy target." I push him away roughly, right into Kankuro's grasp. No fucking way I'm getting involved in this one. That would only mean getting my face stuffed in another guy's sweaty armpit, and right now I'm not so game for that.

"Leggo of me, you ass!" Kiba shouts, kicking almost wildly.

"Then take back what you said about my sister!" Kankuro squeezes tighter, but Kiba doesn't flinch. His grasp looks just as tight as his opponent's.

"No way! Clown hair! Clown hair!"

The two tussle a little longer, their undeniably naked figures going back and forth in an almost sexual manner which is, yes, very hot, but I'd be best off not getting those kinds of images in my head. It's just… not right. It's the kind of thing, as hard as it is, I have to just shake off and ignore. Hell. I've done it a million times, and I'm sure there are a million more to come. I glance up at the sky. Almost midnight. I'm sure the others haven't missed us yet, but if I stay in here much longer I'm destined to prune-dom. Time to call it a night. I let out a sigh of nothing in particular and start to make my way to the edge, where my clothes are laid out. For some reason noticing this, the other two stop wrestling.

"What's up, Shika?" I hear Kiba say between pants.

"Just time for me to get out." I say, truthfully. "Don't want to get all wrinkled."

"Ooh," Kankuro pipes. "The deer boy's a narcissist, who'd of thunk it?"

I wave him off. "Think what you want. I don't care." I hear the water swishing behind me. Gods, not now. "Guys, I-"

"You're not going anywhere!" Kiba's arms are suddenly around my waist and as much as I hate to admit it, the sound that escapes my lungs then is less than dignified. He pulls back enough that I lose grip on the rock edge, but I gain bearing enough to almost jerk free. I lose one of his arms, but his fingers alone are strong enough that I can't pull away, even in the moment of surprise. He releases an amused hiss, lurches forward and gets enough grip on me to pull me back against him with an impressive amount of strength. But I'm thinking the action was a bit excessive on his part. When my shoulder blades and his chest meet with a wet, sharp thwack, it hurts as much as it sounds like it does. But he still doesn't relent after that. "You helping me or what?" Kiba turns his head toward Kankuro.

"Looks like you've got it under control, but what the heck." Fuck. Two on one? How not fair is this? I snap my eyes shut and wait for the impending impact. It comes in the form of something akin to a clothesline, knocking the three of us back into the water very suddenly. Kiba lets go of me, probably not by choice, and for a moment I'm actually free! I take the opportunity to touch some solid ground on the base of the spring, making it easier to duck when Kankuro comes at me again. He instead knocks into Kiba who starts laughing hysterically. Much to my surprise, his arm has enough time to reach out and snatch my wrist. Next thing I know the three of us are piled up in a very unsettling heap. Kankuro has Kiba's shoulders in his face and here I am on top nearly straddling Kiba's chest. Kinda looks like a threesome gone terrible wrong. So of course I do the sensible thing and quickly get up and out of the water. This time I don't meet any resistance.

Well, something about that seemed very, very wrong. Oh, I'm sure it was innocent enough, but damn. That means it was me that was wrong in this equation. Why do I have to go there? So much for bonding with any of the guys… EVER.

When I pull myself out of the water the other guys finally decide to follow me, because even though they would claim otherwise, neither of them wants to be seen all prunish either. Gods know Temari and Naruto wouldn't leave it alone. I pull on my clothes with little enthusiasm, like I do every day, and just as I'm gearing to leave I hear a half gasp from the other direction. I turn to see what the problem is and you can imagine my surprise when I see Kankuro with a hand of his eyes and a horror struck Kiba… a very naked horror struck Kiba, that is.

Before I can punch out a smart assed comment, however, Kiba starts fuming, and just as he makes a break for the forest, me and Kankuro jump to the rescue, each grabbing an arm before the red faced Inuzuka can actually dash off like…this. "Bastard raccoon!" He shouts, trying vainly to pull away from our collective grasp. Somehow this is eerily similar to the Akamaru and the annoying squirrel incident. "You stole my fucking pack!"

Okay, this is a better reason than Akamaru had to chase down that squirrel, but… "Fuck, Kiba! You can't chase him like this!"

"Like I fuckin' care!"

"It's not your dignity we care about!" Kankuro grates through narrowly closed teeth, yanking the man back hard enough that he stumbles back into us. "We're not alone in this forest and you know that!" Kankuro releases the man into my care and goes to rummage through his things. I hold both arms by the biceps and pull him toward me, in which case he stops resisting. He smells like hot springs and mud. Not exactly a good smell, but not really nasty either.

"What the hell was in that pack?" I ask quietly. He turns his head to the side, trying to hide the faint blush on his cheeks.

"I don't think you wanna know." He trails of a little. That embarrassing? On a mission? I really _don't_ know if I want to know… he lets out a heavy sigh. "Temari made me take it." Oh gods, that's a bad sign. And now that I put two and two together, I'm starting to get a picture, here. "I told her no, it's a mission and you don't do that kind of stuff on missions, but she must get her way a lot or something… cause in the end I just couldn't say no anymore."

"Kiba…"

"It must have opened up in my pack, okay?"

I let out a heavy sigh. "Damn."

"Here ya go!" Kankuro shouts, spinning around with a huge grin on his face. In his hands are, and I say this with utmost irritation, a kunai and a pair of checkered boxer shorts. Bright red ones. Why he'd have those-no. none of my business. When no one moves to intercept the articles, Kankuro huffs once and tosses them at the still very naked Kiba. I let go of his arms just in time to save Kiba a knife in the face and take two steps back.

"You've got to be fucking kidding!" Kiba snarls, cutting the air with his arms. Akamaru starts circling happily, which only serves to piss of his master even more. "What the hell are you doing here? Go after that stupid raccoon!" He whips his finger toward the forest. The dog only stops, sits and tilts its head as if in confusion. He then lets out a half barking sound, which if you ask me sounds like a complaining child. "Whaddya mean you can't follow it? It's got-" Kiba groans, smacking his palm hard against his head.

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o

Back at the campsite, the sight of Kiba's near nudity elicits a whistle from the pair of kunoichi. Kiba doesn't outwardly seem to even notice the cat call, but the nervous feeling that lingers around him seems to thicken. I think the pack incident is just weighing heavier on his mind. Normally he would have turned bright pink at such a thing.

Hey, I told him that once the animal realizes there's nothing of interest to a rodent that it'll ditch the pack, but it didn't really seem to lighten his mood any. Maybe he's worried that some important items got damaged or lost? Nah, not Kiba the survivalist. I'm betting it's mostly a matter of pride. Losing to a raccoon, I guess that could be pretty rough, and let's just say he's not one to blow things like that off. Why Akamaru wouldn't chase the thing though, that baffles me a little. Maybe the mutt has a sense of humor. I wouldn't put it past him. Animals do, after all, resemble the personalities of their owners. The irony isn't lost to me. But I deter. Maybe what we should really do is loan Kiba some of our gear and help him find his things. That is, if his pride will allow us to help.

We scrounge up a pair of pants, amazingly enough, from Kankuro's pack. I suppose it would be normal that he's the only one with any extra carrying space, though. What with having seven puppets now and all, he's just bound to use up less of the space in his pack. But Kiba still has a little vanity in him, and when offered a shirt bearing the Sand Country's emblem, he declines without hesitation, instead opting to borrow something with a little more Konoha pride to it. I let him borrow my vest, but the shirt stays, for obvious reasons. And with that Kiba is revved up and ready to go.

"Want some help?" Temari offers out of the blue with a sly smile slowly creeping to the corners of her mouth. What an evil woman. I don't even want to know what's up her sleeve this time. Probably trying to lure Kiba into something weird and sexual. You know, the usual.

Kiba hesitates for a moment, a thoughtful look crossing his face as he sizes up her intentions with the full force of his ability. His conclusion comes with a sigh and he turns away. "All right. Let's go." The two almost instantly disappear into the dense forestry. Akamaru, who seemingly wasn't quite ready, gets up in a hurry and follows his master almost clumsily.

I drop my shoulders listlessly and seat myself on a fallen log. "She's been awful chummy, lately." Kankuro says, a spike lingering in his voice as sits beside me with an equal amount of lacked enthusiasm, propping limp hands over his knees.

"She's a viper in disguise." I say through a sigh.

"I dunno about that. She might be sneaky at times, but not with malicious intent. She looks out for you, Shikamaru."

"Yeah? By trying to get me involved in threesomes and hitting on everybody?" I curl my lip at the thought.

"Well if you weren't such a bitter little ass, lately, she wouldn't have to be trying to get you to loosen up."

Damn. "I've had a lot on my mind lately, that's all." I rub the back of my neck. Hell. I didn't realize I was projecting my frustration that much. From the corner of my eye I notice Tenten slip away into the brush, but I keep it to myself.

"Temari kind of forced me to bring Kiba along, you know." Well, isn't that out of nowhere. "It took me a while to tie it all together, but that, the hot springs, her taking off with him… I guess what I'm trying to say is that I think they're in cahoots. And I mean, I'm just going with my gut, but I think the dog boy has it in for you and Temari's trying to help him snag you."

I let out a heavy sigh and drop my head to rest on the heel of my hand. "I've already been through this, and that's not quite the case. Close, I guess. The thing is, he's not into guys, but for some reason he just likes to mess around. I dunno, I guess I look like a chick in low light or something."

Kankuro hums for a moment. "I guess that halfway makes sense. You could pass for a girl if you had your hair down, I suppose, with your thin figure and all. But hey, I'm not into guys and it doesn't matter how desperate I got, I still wouldn't do you."

"That's nice to know." I say, tilting my head. "'Cause even though you wear makeup, you're not my type either."

He crosses his hands behind his head. "But if I did go for guys, eh, I guess Kiba wouldn't be that bad. I mean, he's got a good body, doesn't take shit too seriously-"

"And you're trying to tell me you're not gay?" I drop my hand from my chin. "I think you've got some serious closet issues, man."

He laughs the accusation off, pausing to slap me on the back. "Ya know, sometimes things like relationships and sexuality are rough on guys like us. We're not supposed to fall in love, ask for help… we just bottle shit in and lie to ourselves that nothing's there at all. Part of it's training too, probably." He pauses. "And it's like, even if you cross one of those hurdles, the other ones are still fucking hard. Maybe Kiba has it a little easier than we do. Even if he can't put it in words, actually listening to your instincts instead of your brain is a gift guys like me and you just didn't get. It's hard, ya know, to just stop, look around, and accept things. We're prone to just shrug things off and listen to logic. We treat everything like a battle situation, when really it's not."

"I don't think what you're talking about is even comparable." I roll my head wearily. "And if it's our nature, then you just can't change like it's nothing. It's not that easy."

He stands up, rubbing his neck. "Yeah, you're right. But still. Just saying it would be a shame to let stupid things like that get in the way of our lives, right?"

"I get it. Doesn't mean we're on the same page or anything, but I get it. I'll keep it in mind."

Kankuro's head falls back and his eyes divert to the stars. "It took me three years to ask my girlfriend out for the first time, and now that I look back at it, it was kind of like you guys. Friends since childhood, lots of pent up emotions on both sides, man I was an idiot. But I got lucky. Not everyone will wait around that long. And even if they will, why cause both of you so much pain?" His head drops. "I'm gonna go take a nap or something. We've got a long way to travel tomorrow."

"That's fine." I sigh almost sarcastically. "I'll wait for everyone to get back, but someone else's taking first watch."

oo.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

Three hours pass before Kiba and Temari reappear, and while I wonder how it took two jounin three hours to locate a freaking raccoon and a fruity smelling pack, I know it's none of my business. I greet them only with a glance. Temari responds with a giggle, sitting two feet down from me on the same log with more enthusiasm than I'm comfortable with. And she still says nothing.

Kiba, now fully dressed, and looking somewhat relieved, parks on a rock and tosses my vest back to me. "Where's makeup boy?" This he says playfully, a grin forming on his face.

"Sleeping." I reply, dryly. "I see you found your coon."

"And he's nailed to a tree for his efforts." Kiba's smile turns to a sneer and then just as quickly reverts back. "What've you been up to?"

"Nothing. Haven't seen a thing of Gaara or Naruto either. Tenten, she went off to who knows where."

The two of them suddenly stand in unison "Well, it's about that time." The voice however, is Kiba's alone.

"Hell no! Someone else needs to take over watch!" I snap accidentally. The effect is still lost.

"I'll take it." Temari offers in an unusually sweet tone. There's this certain glow about her like… ah… for some reason that just doesn't work for me. I stand stiffly and go off to set up my bedroll, ignoring the soft footsteps that follow behind.

Sxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxk

NEXT TIME:

The mind is a maker of illusions. Like a genjutsu that can never be dispelled. It poisons our hearts, manipulates our actions and destroys every piece of us in ways innumerable. But to turn off our minds… then would we lose our humanity as well?

And then we realize, as much as it hurts us, this… is not a gamble worth our souls to take.


	20. Take This Life

Disclaimer: The characters might not be mine, but their pain sure as hell is.

A/N: When I went to post this chap I had one of those 'oh shit' moments where I reread the chapter and it was a piece of crap. So I took some extra time to edit. It's not much better, but it's better.

Chapter Twenty: Take this life

My path takes me far enough from the campsite that my nerves stop jumping as badly. I don't know what it means, but I want it to stop, it's not going to stop. Fuck I hate this…

And when I stop I swing my upper body toward my stalker, unfocused in the darkness, but I don't care. "Did you really?" I say sharply and accusingly. Hypocritical I know, but fuck it.

"Did I what?" Kiba says innocently, blinking repeatedly like a lost puppy.

"Nevermind." I mumble. I pull my bedroll from my pack, draping it out lazily over the ground. I let out a heavy sigh. Kiba, for some reason, rolls onto my bedding as if I put it there for him. I almost want to kick him off, as irrational as the feeling is.

"C'mon, Shika. You start it, you finish it."

I raise a brow and sigh, crossing my arms. "Why are you following me, anyway?" I gaze at him flatly, and if I can will him away from my sleeping place with just my eyes, by the gods I'm gonna do it.

"You're sure angry. What do you think I did?"

"That came out presumptuous."

"Presu-what?" Kiba suddenly props himself up.

"Let me rephrase my question. What's Temari so happy for?"

Kiba pauses for a moment before finally the question's unspoken meaning clicks. "What? NO!"

"Then wha-"

"No! If she was going after anybody, it would be you!" He coughs. "Besides, I don't like blondes."

I smile deviously. "That's right. You love dark haired men, according to what I heard."

He flushes bright red. Oh yes, he remembers. "Who told you about that?"

"Who do you think? It's all right, though. The imagery is pretty hot."

He groans. "I'm never getting wasted ever fucking again."

"That makes two of us."

He blinks. "Why? What did you do?"

I sigh deeply again, letting my arms drop to my sides. "That's just it, I don't remember. I just woke up in a bad position the next morning."

"Really? That makes me feel real good." He frowns, hard. "Didn't think waking up with me would've been that bad."

Does he sound hurt? Fuck. "You do recall Temari and Tenten naked in the same bed, don't you?"

"Yeah? Well what does that have to do with anything? They had their fun, you crashed out and that was it!"

I look at him with interest. "You mean you remember? What happened?"

"I told you." He says with a hint of anger. "Yeah, so maybe it was kinda, I dunno, selfish of me to pull you away when I thought you were gonna go off with some random stranger at the bar, but at the time it seemed like a good idea. I thought you might regret it, so yeah, I pulled you along and followed the girls to the room… but fuck. I don't know what I'm trying to say."

"Forget about it." I say with a sigh. "The whole night was a fucking mistake anyway."

"I don't fucking get you!" He snaps. And as for me, I just know that the curiosity bubbling up from inside me is hitting me right in the face. "One moment it seems like you're into me and the next it's like you hate my fucking guts!"

"Kiba-"

"No!" He snaps. "That night you were begging me to fuck you and the next morning you just ran off!"

"I did what?"

Kiba drops his hands. "It's been like that ever since. And yeah, you begged me, gave me that pouty look that I admit was really hard to resist, but even though I was coming down you were still smashed, and there was no way I could just take advantage of you like that!" He looks down, staring holes into the ground. "I wish I could understand, even a little, but I guess I'm just not that smart." Just before I tell him to calm down I stop myself. I guess everyone was right. I drop down to a sitting position and direct my eyes to the ground. What am I supposed to say or do here? I'm drawing a blank. There's so much here that I… just can't think. "Maybe I should go…" he whispers, just loud enough to hear.

"Kiba, wait." And he does. "Tell me, what do I want?"

"I can't read minds." He confesses. "You're the only one who can figure that out."

"Don't you think I've tried?" I sigh heavily.

"Well, I don't know what to tell you, then. If you were me, I'd just tell you to stop thinking and just follow your gut, but it's pretty obvious you're not me. You just gotta keep with your strengths I guess." He stands slowly. "And when you figure out what you want, make sure you get it, so at least someone will."

When he pulls to leave my hand reaches out to his pant leg. "Kiba…" He looks down at me and suddenly I feel very small and insignificant. "You can stay, if you want to."

o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.o.

I can't remember what happened first, the bucket of water being dumped over my head or my waking up, but if one came after the other it was in such short succession that it felt simultaneous.

"That's what you get, bastard!" Kankuro shouts, slinging the bucket over his shoulder… but shit. What did _I_ do? And then I remember who's lying next to me. Great. I'm collateral damage. I just continue to lie there, sopping wet. What good is standing up going to do for me anyway? Knowing my luck and my companions, I'd be in for an unintentional ass kicking. Yeah, so I stiffen up and frown hard, but I don't move. Kiba on the other hand pulls his arm out from underneath me and sits up, laughing like a giddy schoolgirl. Though I don't know how you can laugh when your wakeup call is water in the face. "You little fucker! I can't get it off!"

He grabs Kiba by the collar and tries to pull him into a hold, but Kiba ducks away, only to pull me up by my arm without consent. I'm not nearly ready to be awake, this is irritating as hell. My eyes blink into awareness just in time to duck a punch not even aimed at me. I nearly stumble over, but Kiba's still got my arm. When he finally lets go of me he still doesn't swing back, instead dodging each of Kankuro's punches with graceful movements.

I fall back against a tree and start to focus my eyes. And now that I get a better look at it…

What the hell is on Kankuro's face? Oh crap, that's what Kiba did.

I hear a faint rustling of leaves from the back, and sure enough it heralds the end of the fight… if you can call it that. Almost immediately Temari and Naruto appear out of nowhere and restrain the infuriated puppeteer. But even after this Kiba continues to taunt until Gaara arrives, and even though the expression on his face is merely that of irritation, we all know that even that look borders on murderous. Tenten arrives following Gaara as well, but she looks more amused than anything else.

"Oh geez, Shikamaru, what happened to you?" The brunette girl nearly squeaks as she asks the question, and me, I let my shoulders drop in defeat.

I shrug, raise my hands to shoulder heighth and shake my head. "I'm all wet, what's it look like?"

"I guess so, huh?"

Noticing a dripping strand of hair across my forehead, I flip it off to the side. "Not really and ideal start to the day, if you ask me."

Tenten then points her finger toward Kankuro, and if I hadn't seen the whole of the damage before, I can't help but give in to curiosity now. I'm not modest about the turn as I take in the picture, and I have to admit, as childish as it is, it's really pretty funny. Hard black lines drawn on Kankuro's face form a pair of glasses, a curly mustache and scraggly beard, the typical kid thing to do to a picture of someone they don't like. The only thing it's missing is a pair of horns on his head and it would be perfect. But the real kicker is, how in the hell could Kankuro not wake up when that happened? Kiba's not that stealthy I wouldn't think. But then again, I've been wrong before.

Temari catches sight of her brother's plight almost instantly after, and as she does, it looks like she's trying pretty hard not to just bust up laughing. I let out a cough to make sure I don't start laughing myself, though I can't help the smile edging it's way onto my face. Kankuro starts physically fuming, and every patch of unmarked skin starts to glow a fiery red. I mean, shit. Sure I might be sopping wet and I might look like I'm half drowned, but it doesn't even compare to this. I'd feel bad for him if I wasn't trying so hard to hold back my own set of chuckles.

"What's so funny?" Naruto suddenly prods. But I suppose it's not the dumbest statement he's ever made. From his awkward position behind Kankuro's arm he most likely hasn't seen the puppeteer's face, or even thought to look.

"It's time to leave." Gaara says huskily, though I doubt he means the intimidating tone. But despite that, his voice has gotten unexpectedly sexy over the years, even if he's not my type.

But that's right, even these days he can't seem to sleep more than two or three hours a night, so of course he'd want to set off early.

I haven't even picked up my shit yet, but not like I've had the chance. "I need five minutes." I say, irritably.

Gaara simply looks at me with eyes that don't mean one thing or another. "All right. Then I'm going ahead." He turns, his back to the party. "Naruto?" And of course the blonde scurries over to him like an obedient pet.

Kankuro gives up at this point, pulling his arm from his sister's grasp and stomping back to the main campsite in a huff. I watch him leave for a moment before turning to Kiba, who's still wearing that stupid grin. "What did you use?"

His grin nearly drops, but only because he wasn't expecting the diversion. "Oh, just a plain 'ol everyday permanent marker."

I smirk at the thought. It's almost hard to believe. "Guess his super makeup remover isn't so great after all."

o.o.oo.o.o.o.o..o.oo

When your companions are ninja, often times traveling is very impersonal, and conversation is nearly nonexistent, but that's really the way it has to be. And all this quiet time, it sure gives you the time to think, whether it's your intention to do so or not. And me, I'm fully aware that I occasionally find myself sliding in and out of thinking fits.

My point is this.

For the last three hours I've engaged in hand to hand combat with my inner voice, planning out the next three months or so with such intricate detail that it almost sickens me. And I wonder how he approves of this so easily, my inner voice, that is. But I've always been this way, I've discovered. I used to plan out my life's events years ahead of time, from marital status to ninja rank and everything in between. And now that I think on it I've come to the realization that doing this is completely stupid. Yeah, so I've gotten better about it over the years, planning only months ahead as opposed to years, but it's still ridiculous.

The ridiculous part of it all is the fact that I don't know how I'll change in time. When I was thirteen I wanted a normal life and family. All that changed with one near death experience. And many near death experiences later, here I am. I know there will never be a shred of normalcy for me. Never really has been. It's in my blood to be just plain weird. Weird people don't lead normal lives. They lead strange lives with the occasional normal occurrence. And somehow, deep down inside, I doubt I'd be happy with normalcy anyway.

I think in reality I've known this since the first time I held another's life in my hands. You can't plan years ahead when the things that matter could disappear within mere minutes…

So maybe there are things planned in my future that I wouldn't change for the world, like my decision to retire from teaching to fulfill an old promise to an old friend, but Kankuro was right. Life isn't meant to be lived in a logic sequence. And well, maybe I can't totally go the other way, but even to admit and voice this is a huge weight off my shoulders.

I think maybe, just maybe, things are beginning to fall into place. Let the pieces fall where they fit. And if Kiba is right, when the time comes, then I suppose I'll know what I want. I'm sure that subconsciously, the decision has already been made.

Kxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxs

A/N: I think this was a jumpy chapter. Stopping points and chapter length can be a bitch.

Sometimes when I write I get a stomachache, and I wonder if this is normal…

NEXT TIME: Blood comes from the heart or nowhere at all. Self is unimportant. You are given only two choices. Stand. Or fall.


	21. Circumstance Awry

Disclaimer: Thaw your chickens before using the chicken gun.

A/N: I shouldn't write my stories in notebooks, first. Turns out it makes for messy chapter cut offs. Anyway… more fight sequences… I know it's not what everyone's waiting for, but it's important to get there.

CHAPTER 21: Circumstance Awry

You know how they say as soon as you realize that it's been quiet for far too long the air will instantly change? Well, it's true. After hours of ranting in my head I take a look up and what do I feel but a cold serpentine air, something bad that just starts to stir through the dust like an omen of the end of the world. It feels like an impending attack. Not guerilla tactics like one would assume, but a straight on balls to the wall attack. The feeling of reservation that would come with guerilla tactics is missing. A quick survey of my companions reveals a similar realization throughout. This unease is far from a trick of my imagination.

Only a short time ago we passed out of Fire Country, and this terrain is completely foreign to the lot of us. But if we decide to take the initiative… no, we can't. Not the way Naruto is twitching. Our best bet would be to wait for a signal, give no one real initiative. Be ready for an attack and retaliate with simultaneous force. I won't be able to see the signal, but Gaara will, and if our minds are on the same wavelength at all, he'll let us know in his own subtle way. I risk a glance at the party leader, and as if he hears it he returns the glance with a sideways look and a nod of the head. Though I've never been on a mission with Gaara before this, I've seen him work, and it doesn't surprise me to find he remembers how I work as well. I have a feeling the strategies will build themselves if we continue.

The only ones I'm worried about are Kiba and Naruto. Kiba is brash and easily provoked, Naruto has a tendency to go against orders. If we do it right, keep Kiba away from dead center he'll be all right. But I wish I had a leash for Naruto. That boy can be hard to work with sometimes. A real handful. Way harder to control than Lee, and far more headstrong than Kiba… but I've done it before. Numerous times. Tsunade-sama claims we make a good team, but if you ask me it's mostly coincidence. If he weren't so damn tough he'd have been dead years ago, and if I couldn't think on my feet, I'd have been a goner, too.

There. That's all the signal I need. The sands starting to creep from Gaara's gourd seem almost excited, if that's possible without a monster to lead them on, and as that happens I notice a movement passing through the corner of my eye. That's definitely not the wind. I pull a kunai from my leg holster slowly and let it catch a ray of sunlight that peeks through the trees. The glint pulls the attention of even our more dense companions, and the sight of a drawn weapon is clear enough to ready anyone who wasn't already aware.

The first nin in the group goes for the one he thinks is the weakest link, but we all no that despite being a kunoichi, traditionally the weak links, Tenten is nobody to be taken so lightly. He's a pincushion before he can finalize his attack.

And just as the mood indicated, the entire group is upon us as soon as the first man falls. The snakes… they're still coming, the summoners must be the second wave. That means the sooner we dispatch these decoys the real battle will begin. If they thought this elementary of a tactic would work on Konoha ninja, they're gravely mistaken.

There are eleven men in the first wave, outnumbering us by a few, but far from outclassing us. Their highest possible probability still only brings them a forty percent chance, and that would be assuming every man was the rank of a Konoha jounin, which is highly improbable. No, these soldiers are sacrificial pieces, trying to buy time as the summoners finish their work. Without a more complex strategy this resistance is toast.

All this means is that we're better off keeping our big guns at bay until the second stage. Tenten, Kankuro and I will have to finish off this batch before the others start wasting chakra. No problem. Catching their attention will be the worst of it. As we spread out for battle formation, the both of them ended up on opposite sides. Relaying the message might be a pain.

In perspective Kankuro is closer, but I think this will have a better chance of working if I go the other way. Tenten is a better bet. I dodge an enemy attack by the skin of my neck and make a beeline for my companion as the others start to fight. She's keen to my presence and immediately divides her attention.

"Cut chakra expenditure for stage two." I say simply at a half whisper.

She gives a quick nod, whips out a scroll, and instantaneously throws it across the field. How she can write, attach and send a message that quickly I'll never know. The kunai sticks hard into a tree beside the target, and as Kankuro glances the note he nods, and the sound of chittering fills the air like an army of insects. That sound is maddening, I don't know how one could stand it for so long without destroying some very vital parts of the sanity. But there's no guarantee on any of our sanity anymore, now is there? Kankuro steps up to the plate first, jumping in front of Naruto's advances without hesitation. Not the safest thing to do, but I cannot contest.

All three minor jutsu are released in a single blast, and the apparent chaos does as it should. The enemy nin try to scramble from puppet shards, sword like shadows and various weaponry without much success. They obviously don't know what to block, what to dodge and which could possibly be harmless. Truth is, none of them are harmless, and with the very specific control we each have over our attacks, anything left open is going to hit something vital. And with all three of us attacking at once, we used almost none of our chakra. Strength in numbers as they say.

As soon as the chaos quells Naruto is the first to jump out front, and though wave two hasn't made their appearance, Naruto obviously isn't wasting any time. The rest of us follow his lead, although it might be walking into a trap we can't very well leave Naruto on his own. I don't know, I suppose he can handle himself for the most part, but I'm not very good at letting my companions go off on their own. Not since my very first mission as a chuunin. If anyone is going on an odds against solo battle its going to be me. I'm done risking people, especially Naruto, he's done his fair share over the years.

Good, I can see him now, stopping before the enemy attacks. I jump the gun a little and toss out a few exploding tags, some of the last ones I've got… to draw out the snakes I can see slithering in the tall brush. Since the summoners finished their primary objective, we have a little more to worry about. They obviously aren't hand to had combat types, so they will probably focus on ranged combat, maybe even sniping from the trees. We've got to keep a sharp eye, avoid unnecessary injury, as minor as it would be.

The exploding tags work like a charm, drawing out a total of seven oversized serpents, one of which appears to have been severely injured by one of my tags. Naruto instantly lets out a battle cry and charges, but not before I notice a shape start to move in the trees. No, not a person, something much more dangerous than that… I can't tell which puppet it is, but Kankuro is definitely on top of things. A blood curdling scream erupts from that general direction. Good. Now I can take care of what really needs to be done.

I take note of each of my companions' positions like points on a map, easily dictating their area of attack and enemy likely to be facing them. Even with Kankuro setting borders, our battle area is still pretty huge, and there are a lot of obstacles to account for, plenty of places to hide, as well, a nice speckling of sunlight through the tree branches, and not a whole lot of rocks or debris. Looks like only one of the snakes is going to be my problem, too. Perfect.

There's only one tree between me and my target. Hiding quietly behind the trunk, my target seems unsure of action, which leaves it in a still, easy to capture position. I push my fingers together and send out my jutsu, concentrating until I feel it catch. I spin around the tree trunk to catch a glance and its just like I hoped. Trapped. I keep still, even when half of a snake crashes in front of me, splattering blood every which way. I can't hold such a big creature for long, but until then, let's see what kind of damage I can do. "Deadly shadow, shadow assassination!"

I pull out a kunai, infuse it with the first stage of the jutsu and stab it directly into the ground where the snake's shadow begins. That should hold for about five seconds, which gives me only one shot with my shadow assassination. Now to see if it will even effect the beast. I sprint past another skirmish, almost getting whipped with a gigantic tail, and when I finally stop it's right in the center of the shadow that outlines the snake's head. I pull back until I feel the energy twisting around my fist and swing upward, upper cutting thin air if you must. But that's not the reality of it. The energy around my fist continues skyward, taking the shadows surrounding with it. The shadow spike thrusts upward and right through the creature's skull just before the shadow snap wears off, traveling several meters up into the air, even after the creature regains mobility. But even that isn't enough, and the impaled creature thrashes wildly, its twists and turns even more dangerous as the spike melts back into the shadows. This could be a problem, but I was prepared for this.

I roll back a ways and start forming seals. But that's-fuck! No time to concentrate, one of the other snakes is headed this way with what looks like a damaged eye. It hits the tree behind me full force, and when I regain my bearings I'm on my knees, covering my head until the rain of splinters stops. Great! It's not dead, either! Now that makes two extremely pissed reptiles within a five meter span. Time to run, meet up with another companion and reassess the situation. It looks like Naruto is the closest, but I'd never find him through his clones… so which snake is it that got away? Were there more that hadn't come out yet? No time to check, have to keep running. Gaara is the next closest, but that's too dangerous. I can't see them, but Tenten, Temari and Kiba must be on the other side…I don't have much of a choice.

I try ducking behind a large rock, but the snakes don't seem phased. The more injured of the two smashes right into the rock headfirst… I don't remember flying through the air, but now that I'm picking myself off the ground I find myself almost pinned up against a cluster of trees and shrubs. I'm just lucky it wasn't worse, I took some pretty good scrapes, though, and now that I'm bleeding they'll have me on lockdown. But it's not serious, so I'm not defenseless.

Wait… how did I get this far? A quick glance shows Gaara on the other side of me now. I must've lost consciousness for a second of two. I've got to think of something, I've lost sight of my companions and I can't just wait until the snakes eat me. Judging by the distance between us, I f I can stop both snakes even momentarily I'll still have time to take the offensive. I crouch down and form the seal for my Kage Mane-fuck.

"Shit!" I reach back and grab hold of the kunai suddenly lodged into my right shoulder blade. It's stuck, hit the bone, I'm going to have to leave it until I have more time. But my jutsu's fucked!

I turn my head and launch my last set of shuriken toward my attacker. It's a clean hit and he falls like a rock, but now I've got to improvise, the snakes are too close. The snake closest to me swings its tail, too fast to completely dodge. I activate the kawarami technique only to watch in horror as the log is obliterated. Pulling a length of wire from my weapons pouch, I swing the wire over the snake's head and land as lightly as I can on the thing's back. Not as easy as it sounds. When it feels the wire around its neck it starts thrashing and all I can do to stay aboard is pull tighter, catching only a flash of reflected light from the point where the scales bend. I barely avoid a gnash of the other snake's enormous fangs as if it's trying to remind me it's still there. As if I could forget. I cross the wires by switching hands, at the same time attaching a kunai to each. I need to buy some time since I can't take them both at once. I'm only a chuunin.

As soon as I locate the nearest tree I let my weapons loose, and with a quick twist using shadow sewing to knock the kunai around the tree, I let it loop several times before driving both kunai deeply into the tree. To the hilts, in fact. It should hold, at least for a little while. I leap down and away, leaving the bound snake to fight with the tree for a little while. But the fact that my wire didn't even cut the beast a little… what are those things made of, anyway? It doesn't matter, though. I already know my shadows can pierce them when I use the proper jutsu. But to make time for concentration, that's a little tougher. Luckily for me, it's the snake I initially damaged with my exploding tags that's still loose.

If I'm going to do this'll have to make use of those blind spots. I'm aware that snakes don't have very good eyes in the first place, and that their sensory is mostly through heat, but if I pop out a few Kage Bunshin and keep moving, I should be able to confuse its senses long enough to take advantage of the blind spot and make a fatal blow with shadow assassination. Only problem is that doesn't leave much chakra for the other snake, but it's far too big to take out with Kage Shibari and shadow sewing isn't nearly powerful enough to do more than give it some scrapes. I suppose I'll just have to be a good decoy and keep it occupied until help arrives. Speaking of which… there isn't much noise elsewhere. Where is everyone? There's pieces of snake everywhere but I can only see Kiba and Temari from my latest position, finishing off a snake together, which means help shouldn't be far off…

I summon three Kage Bunshin and we four corner the beast, and just to finalize we start trading position. One, two, three times and the blind spot… there! My clones disappear instantly as I thrust my hand to the ground. "Deadly shadow, shadow decapitation!"

A round house kick to the air and a huge shadow blade follows, slicing only halfway through. I'll be damned. It's tough all right, but that should still be enough for a fatal blow. If nothing else it will suffocate or its lungs will fill up with blood.

At least the other snake is still bound, so that saves me time and chakra, but if I've learned anything about these beasts, I don't have much time to think something up. But I should manage. After all, I may not be much of a fighter, but I can sure play chicken. I have plenty of kunai left, and enough chakra that as long as I don't have to do something big I'll hold out.

The first kunai I let off hits dead center in the creature's eye, but even the thrashing that ensues does nothing to shake the wire bonds. I let off another shot, clean into the upper pallet. It doesn't rip through like I'd hoped, instead sticking in about a third of the way and pissing it off even more. I guess the soft pallet must have been farther back, either that or my shot was somewhat off center.

And of course that's the last straw. Only one of the kunai rips from the tree, but luckily the multiple wraps drop it harmlessly to the ground. Not that it matters now with the raging worm coming right at me again. I throw together the seals for Kage Mane and just in time, too. I can feel its breath, it's that close. I don't have enough strength to make it back up, so all I can do is stand here with the sweat rolling down the back of my neck. It's resisting as best as it can, which is straining me, but I'm still in control and that's what matters. If someone doesn't get here soon, though, I may end up losing a limb.

That's not good…there's a shift in my jutsu, and I swear the snake is a little closer than before. No, I'm not imagining things. My hands are getting shaky. I'm just about out of chakra. Crap. I shouldn't have let it get so close. I don't have many options here. I'm going to have to try the run and shoot technique. Granted I don't know how well that's going to work on a creature that doesn't rely on ligaments for its mobility. But that means I'll just have to move faster.

Fuck. My eyes snap shut involuntarily and a sharp spike of pain shoots through my body… I guess I'm not fast enough. I don't feel death creeping in on me, but I know I'm in trouble. I'm pinned between the snake and a tree. This is bad. I'm not bleeding but I can feel that fang all the way through… my collarbone might be broken… and when I crack my eyes open, which feels like the most I can do, I see a green vest with a familiar red swirl. It's no coincidence I wasn't broken in half. Like usual, someone else had to come save my ass.

"Shikamaru!" I hear Temari shout from the other side of the snake. This must be the last one… of course. What luck.

"Shikamaru! Get out of here, now!" Kiba grates through his teeth.

"I can't…" He doesn't know… he wasn't quite fast enough either.

"Fuck…"is all I hear from him as he shakingly struggles against the serpent's jaws. He must be using all he has to keep them open. "Temari! Help! Kill this fucker!"

"No! Don't!" I shout, though I hate the sound of my voice as it escapes my throat.

"We have no choice!" and I know he's right, but I don't know how bad the bleeding will be when the fang's removed. All I can do is hope the barest medical attention will be enough to hold me over until Suna.

I don't see the attack, but I know the furthest half of the snake poofs away first, and I also know the pain forces the creature to rear back, ripping away from my collarbone and tossing Kiba to the side. I'm pulled down to the ground from the force. As soon as my hands and knees hit the ground my vision flashes white and the sensation of pain erupts through my entire body. My whole left side goes all but numb suddenly and I grab hold of the wound… it needs pressure…shit. I'm doing my best not to cry out, and it's working so far, but fuck it's hard. I pull myself up to my knees without aid from my hands and hesitantly I start fumbling through my things for some gauze.

Various mumbling curses are all I hear from my companions so I guess, yep. It's bleeding fast. I need to wrap it before I pass out. "Oh my gods, what happened to them?"

Temari's scream is a surprise to me. But now I know why the battle turned out as badly as it did. Gaara and Tenten are both crumpled on the battlefield, and Kankuro is nowhere to be seen. "Poison?" she says with a gasp. "How the hell? When?"

Kiba doesn't turn when he speaks, instead furrowing his brow in concern. "He almost got me, too, but lucky for me I smelled him right when he was about to strike. I've never seen someone move that fast."

"An assassination specialist? Hell."

Kiba brushes back his hair. "Naruto went after him, but he won't be able to see him, so I sent Akamaru with him."

Temari gazes at the prone figures of her brother and girlfriend. "They better get back soon, we can't move until they get back and I don't know what kind of poison they used."

But still they miss an important detail. "Where's Kankuro?" I grunt through the pain of removing my vest.

"Shit." Kiba says, though I don't think he's talking about Kankuro, because as he says this his hands shoot forward and stop me from finishing my work. Kiba is careful when pulling the vest away, but truthfully I can't feel it much anymore.

"This is a bad omen." I whisper. Kiba turns attention but says nothing. "She gets very irrational when her brothers are in trouble." I gaze out at the forestry.

"It's just not a good feeling when you think you might be losing someone you care about." He stops tugging at my wound for a moment, why, I don't know but….

"Yeah, I know." I say on the edge of my breath. I do know, all too well.

"You're still bleeding!" he snaps back into the moment. "You're getting loopy, let's get this over before you pass out. I don't know about Temari, but I don't think I can carry more than one of you assholes."

"We're going to have to travel at an almost insane pace, too." I add, cementing the change of subject.

"Yeah that's well and whatever, but arms up." He's got the right idea, though. We can't go tearing apart my shirt at this point, if the enemy is still on our tails the best thing to do is hide my injury altogether. The less signs of weakness the better… though I'm aware we're already pretty screwed in that regard. The shirt looks pretty wrecked, though, so if I have enough time I might need to give it a good thorough washing. A hard tug on the gauze from Kiba makes me remember the pain, but I try not to cringe too much. It has to be tight if we're expecting it to keep the wound from opening up in the next eight hours or so. It's all we can expect without proper supplies. "Best I can do." Kiba says, tying it off quickly.

"Thanks." I awkwardly pull my shirt down, feeling much like a doll with my arm stiffened from the gauze. "I guess I won't be much but dead weight… but I'll pull as much of it as I can."

He smiles half heartedly. "Heh. It won't be the first time I've pulled your dead weight, and you weren't even injured last time. "I smile back at him, but I fear that smile is also half hearted. I guess I can't really expect much else, given the situation. I mean, I'm just hurt, the others could very well be knocking on death's door.

I push myself up with my free arm and head toward Temari, who's currently crouched over her youngest brother. It looks like Tenten has been pulled over so the two are side by side. "It's bad, but we have some time… four days to a week I'm guessing," Temari whispers. "But the sooner the better, I don't know how bad the permanent damage will be… it has mild acidic properties."

We know she can't fix this on her own, we have to find Kankuro and get to Suna fast. "We'll find Kankuro." Kiba says sternly, but only above a whisper. "If you can stand guard I'm sure Naruto and Akamaru will be back in no time." When he turns toward me I nod and we both start at a conservative pace to the area where Kankuro was last seen on defense.

Kxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxsxkxs

Next time:

Victory often leaves a taste in the mouth one would describe as bittersweet, maybe a coppery taste that reminds one of cold iron or blood. But this tang, while maybe a little unpleasant, is not a taste one wants to wash from their mouths. It is a better taste than defeat.

After all, to the victor go the spoils.


End file.
